Khun_Kong Posted May 5, 2003 Report Share Posted May 5, 2003 I've heard a number of BGs talk about former farang boyfriends with the same, "Him no good, him lie" that they use for old Thai boyfriends. In both cases (Thai and farang BFs), it seems to be based on either explicit or implicit promises made, usually relating to commitment. I'm just wondering how much of this "lying" is due to men who, caught up in the moment, say this or that, even staying with it for several weeks after their return to farangland. Then, reality settles in. This reality is perhaps sparked by the emptiness/futility/frustration of phone conversations and emails with their tirac (How you today? OK, how you? Where you stay now? Work. Khun la khrap? Home. Sabaidii mai? You already ask me that. ...), or maybe by the picture that forms in the farang's mind as he imagines life in his home country on a day-to-day basis with his chosen one, or any number of other thoughts that he once entertained, revolving around a life of never-ending bliss with his new found honey, that now do not shine as brightly. So, the emails and phone calls become less frequent, the promises turn to maybes and the maybes fade to nothings. She, of course, feels deceived. He, on the other hand, feels that he is just making a wise choice, that his actions are not/have not been deceitful, that he is merely owning up to the reality of his life. With all of the above in mind, then, I wonder how much of the "lies" and "deceit" of which we accuse BGs is simply them doing the same thing as the aforementioned farang. Maybe the only difference is that she does not have as much self-delusion on the front end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 5, 2003 Report Share Posted May 5, 2003 I can only say that I agree! Best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted May 5, 2003 Report Share Posted May 5, 2003 Your topic reminds of a conversation I had with a female Thai english teacher. She was a a sweet young woman with a uni degree who lost her job with a multinational corporation due to cutbacks so to make ends meet she became a private English teacher. The sad part of her story was that she was a single mother with a baby fathered by one of my fellow Americans. The relationship was great there were promises of undying love, visas, and eventual marriage. She became pregnant, his company moved him back to the States, he then was laid off. Once the baby was born the frequent phone calls became daily e-mails which then trickled to contact by whatever means once a month. He doesn't send child support, hasn't returned to LOS and he has changed his mind about marriage and a visa. The guy is a fucking loser IMO and I wouldn't be surprised if he always had a relationship going on in farang land while he was filling the Thai girls head up with empty promises. What amazes me is that the girl was really pragmatic about the situation in that she has no qualms about raising her child herself and also has no desire to pursue legal means through the consulate to get child support from the guy. She didn't appear bitter about the situation she was in and I think somewhere she harbors the idea that he will return to her because she carries a picture of the piece of scum in her wallet. I personally can't blame these chicks who bullshit farangs because in all honesty I think they more often than not get the short end of the stick by us visitors who make pledges of undying love after a one week afffair and then fly off to farangland where we can easily forget them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zorro Posted May 6, 2003 Report Share Posted May 6, 2003 If we are talking about bar girls and honesty well it is really a slippery slope. The lies really go both ways with guys lying and the women lying. It is the nature of the illusional relationship that causes these lies. IMHO bar girls who complain to you about other farangs lying are trying to soften you up in the hope that they can use your jai deeness to benefit themselves. A cynical viewpoint i know but you have to remember these girls are there to hustle you and this is just another of the tricks of the trade. I often wonder when a bargirl calls a man a jaidee man whether this is just a synonym for sucker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lembeh Posted May 6, 2003 Report Share Posted May 6, 2003 >IMHO bar girls who complain to you about other farangs lying are trying to soften you up in the hope that they can use your jai deeness to benefit themselves. A cynical viewpoint i know but you have to remember these girls are there to hustle you and this is just another of the tricks of the trade. I am sure this happens, just as I am also sure I can think of half a dozen girls with out really trying who have been totally screwed over one way or another by lying farangs. -j- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosyourdaddy Posted May 6, 2003 Report Share Posted May 6, 2003 90% of relationships will fade. Thinking of all the ex girl friends I have had and the things we say when we are young. Everything was taken with a grain of salt. BG and Punters are the same. People may get hurt over a broken relationship.. It does not matter if money is involved or not. But all these girls may even more hurt because they lost the national lottery and a BF at the same time when it comes to losing a punter. They have to get over it. Like any ex who does not gets over a broken relationship in a reasonable amount of time maybe completely nuts. These women are paid professionals and need a relality check if they get all upset if a punter/boyfriend does a runner or finds a better "sale" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harlequinbkk Posted May 6, 2003 Report Share Posted May 6, 2003 [color:"red"] A cynical viewpoint i know but you have to remember these girls are there to hustle you and this is just another of the tricks of the trade. [/color] I think this is a fair assessment. There are certain professions, prostitution among them, that have a corrupting influence on people who engage in them. Perhaps in their own minds they rationalize their dishonesty as a legitimate 'trick of the trade'. Harlequin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted May 6, 2003 Report Share Posted May 6, 2003 Hi, Not intending to sound negative on the BG (so, please don't jump on me), what do they expect from the byers? It is not a relationship of BF/GF in the first place, no matter what the illusion is. If I were to sell you my services, I sure would not call you BF, just a customer, that is all. So the promises or whatever are just hot air, nothing more, nothing less. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted May 6, 2003 Report Share Posted May 6, 2003 [color:"red"]Your topic reminds of a conversation I had with a female Thai english teacher. She was a a sweet young woman with a uni degree who lost her job with a multinational corporation due to cutbacks so to make ends meet she became a private English teacher. [/color] Now this is a differrent story. For me ( I may sound cold), it is not any worse than she was pregnant with a Thai man. It is happening everyday here in the States or anywhere. I have been married to a retired AF guy and during the military day, have seen many Thais who married the GIs and once they were back in the States, the Thai women were no longer needed and many got dumped like hot potatoes. :: Sadly, the Thai ones with education fared worse than the ex-BG because most educated ones are from families who spoiled them and they had no concept in taking care of themselves. Many of these women were also NOT welcome back to the Thai families (not all Thai families care about their daughters marrying foriegners. ) Needs change and suddenly, the wives they had met in exotic Thailand are no longer exotic in the good old USA. Sad. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted May 6, 2003 Report Share Posted May 6, 2003 Says Zorro: IMHO bar girls who complain to you about other farangs lying are trying to soften you up in the hope that they can use your jai deeness to benefit themselves. A cynical viewpoint i know but you have to remember these girls are there to hustle you and this is just another of the tricks of the trade. I often wonder when a bargirl calls a man a jaidee man whether this is just a synonym for sucker. Nothing at all even close to my personal experiences. I guess if I had to break it down on a percentage basis possibly 1% of the women I have encountered on a P4P basis have tried to "hustle" me in the sense of seeking renumeration in the form of extras outside of the cash paid (ie. buy me cell phone, bracelet, extra baht for cab above the standard rate, etc). They have not done so with lies but actually by asking me to do it for them. Maybe you mean "hustle" when a girl quotes you a higher rate for her services than what she would actually be satisfied with (ie. 3000bt LT but would accept 1500bt). I have found all BG's whom I have dealt with to be honest in their transactions of sex for money. They are even honest in non-sex dealings. I have not experienced a girl calling me jai dee so that they can gain more benefit or refering to me as a sucker. I am sure the type of BG you refer to exists but fortunately for me I have never come across them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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