Good Guy or Bad Guy?

[Sarisin]

So, when you head into that gogo bar would you say you are a good guy or a bad guy? Definition of each? OK, the good guy goes in with a smile on his face and sanuk on his mind. He buys some lady drinks, plays with the ladies/staff, leaves a tip or two and when he departs, the ladies say he is jai dee. The bad guy? Well, he pretty much keeps to himself. Sits there drinking his drink. Buys no drinks for anyone else and leaves no tips. He is there to drink and find a lady. No BS, no fun.

 

Alright, I don?t want to get caught up in the definitions, but I think you see where I am going with this. Maybe good guy and bad guy are not the proper terms, but stay with me on this. Why?

 

Well, it has gotten to the point where I really don?t care to go to Thermae any more. Many of you know from my posts here that it was one of my favorite places to hit weekend evenings. But, not any more.

 

I really think there is a fine line between going into a bar, having a lot of fun and being told you are jai dee ---- and, going into a bar and being taken for a schmuck or at least taken advantage of. Let me illustrate?.

 

Virtually, every time I go into Thermae I can be damned sure I will run into the same pests. Why does this keep happening? Well, I think because I was nice to these characters in the past and now, I am a target to be taken advantage of. Mind you, I have no one to blame but myself for this, so I am not looking for sympathy. I just would like to know if any of you guys have similar experiences. In other words, if you perceive of yourself as a good guy when you go out to the bars, do you think some take advantage of your ?goodness?? And, what can you do about this? Transform into a bad guy?

 

Anyway, here are the pests that make Thermae a lot less fun for me these days:

 

1. Keith Doug?s honey, the Old Bat waitress. Once or twice I bought her a drink and gave her a tip. It seems I have indentured myself to her for life. Now, she will not leave me alone when I am in Thermae until I have given her money for a drink or a tip. This includes the very horrible experience of having her stand there and rub my back or worse. Argh, where is that vomiting emoticon?

2. The Deaf/Dumb massage girl. OK, I do feel a little sorry for her, but no matter what I am doing or who I am talking to, here she comes with her hand held out pointing at her mouth. Sometimes I get a massage, sometimes not. Often she will just push away the lady I was talking with.

3. Two girls I previously took on doubleheaders, but, frankly, grew tired of. They harangue me to take them and when I refuse, they refuse to go away until I give them a tip for food/transportation/their kid?s college fund/a downpayment on a condo in Aspen. I cringe when I see them headed my way.

4. The deadbeat. Like a real doofus I lent one lady a decent amount of money. Excuse me, did I say lent? I mean gave. Oh, she did agree to pay me back. Hahahaha. However, whenever I see her now (any time I am in Thermae), she hits me up for another ?loan.? When I tell her no, she hangs around feigning tears, etc. etc. etc.

5. The girl who hates me. This one is a little scary as she has actually followed me out of Thermae and home on occasions. Yes, I took her once and yes, she was a total dud and a whacko dud at that. For some time she accosted me in Thermae demanding I take her again. I had words with her at a somewhat high volume once, and she said she hated me and would kill me. Now, when I see her in Thermae she will get directly in my line of vision and just glower at me.

 

Well, I am not sure if I have proven my case for why I don?t like going to Thermae much any more. It just isn?t the same as it used to be for me.

 

But, the real point I am trying to make here is that in each of the cases above I was a good guy with the characters mentioned and rather than just accept the ?goodness? they have, IMO, tried to take advantage of me. Again, no violins or sad songs for me, please. It was all my doing, and I can handle it, but I was wondering if you think being good to BGs can actually backfire on you. And, if so, what would you do?

 

[Big Kev]

Hey Sarisin. More evidence of my split-personality, I am probably the "good guy" and the "bad guy" you describe about equally often. Many times even on same night. Even in bars right next door to each other!!

 

Concerning your Thermae experiences, I believe I know pests #1 and #2 that you refer to and agree they can be reason to avoid the place if they won't leave you alone.

 

[Straycat]

Hahahaaha. I certainly recognize that (being the number one pest target for the old lady at Thermae 'cause I tipped her a handsome amount about 2 years ago). But what can one do?

 

Good guy approach works well for having fun (most of the time) and adopting a bad guy style will probably back fire even worse...

 

But just as sidenote, I see lot of guys around lower Sukhumvit that don't seem to have any fun at all...it's all dead eyes, they walk into a go-go and there's absolutely no one that approaches them (not even the waiters). How much fun is that?

[Guest]

it's a bit difficult to be just a good guy in a hard and evil world. and what i know about the private lives of many thermae regulars they do come from a nightmarish dog eat dog world where there is not much space for being 'good'.

 

for so many of them thermae (and lower sukhumvit's pavement) means that they have to make 1000 baht a night and a bit so their heroin supply for the next day is secured. the bit is for food. they don't have any other choice than taking advantage of anyone who shows weakness.

 

 

[Guest]

Says Sarisin:

---

So, when you head into that gogo bar would you say you are a good guy or a bad guy? Definition of each? OK, the good guy goes in with a smile on his face and sanuk on his mind. He buys some lady drinks, plays with the ladies/staff, leaves a tip or two and when he departs, the ladies say he is jai dee. The bad guy? Well, he pretty much keeps to himself. Sits there drinking his drink. Buys no drinks for anyone else and leaves no tips. He is there to drink and find a lady. No BS, no fun.

---

Did you mean to add something else and run out of time or are you just having a bad day or what? I've read a lot of your old posts and you seem pretty righteous but that stuff there is so cold and black and white and judgemental it makes me wonder.

 

Chalk me up as a bad customer because my tipping goes about as far as they coins in the tray and I'm only buying LDs for a girl I want to blast. Everything else is secondary and it costs money thats better off in my pocket or my lady of the moment's. I don't need the egoboost of being the life of the party and keeping to yourself isn't a horrible character flaw. Amateur go-go boys and fighting drunks and serial gropers could use a lesson in keeping to themself too.

 

I don't know what you're asking for. Something like a jai-dee test or like Disneyland- "you must be this sanook to ride this ride." Its a spectrum of experiences both expected and actual so can we reserved and focused types get a little love too? Or jsut let us set our own definition of fun.

 

The Thermae stuff you can have. I set foot in that vipers nest once and it holds no further interest.

 

Anybody wants me gone from here for taking on Sarasin let me know. I saw the treatment that other guy got. Let's not waste each others time.

[ZMAN Z28]

I couldn't agree with you more. The nicer you are to the girl ie the more you spend, the more they try to take advantage of your kindness. I think a couple ways out of this rut are to avoid your home bars, where you are more then likly to act Jai Dee. Or to use your tactic and just say no thanks, sit there and drink your drink and watch their true fellings for you come out.

 

ZMAN

[pattaya127]

I would rather think that one is a GG or a BG. If a GG, why let a few girls encourage you to be something contrary to what you are?

As far as being pestered in familiar places, as you say, you can vote with your feet, if not enjoyimg yourself. Life can't be a repetition of going to the same places for years.

And think you lately have discovered the titillating world of demure but still willing GTGs, and made it, If I recall, your most enjoyable way of meeting women.

[Fiery Jack]

Sarisin,

 

Spectacularly pertinent post . Like reading my diary (or a bit of it) . As Mr Bob Dylan once said, "And every one of them words rang true..."

 

For I regularly "enjoy" pretty authentic copycat versions of your 1? 5 experience in two particular bars, one in NEP and the other in Patpong . Or "got", I should say, since I pointedly stopped going into both the fuckers because such unsummoned "celebrity good-guy" treatment quickly became a right royal pain in the arse.

 

Guess that makes me a "bad guy" then? :: So be it. ::

 

jack

[MaiLuk]

Anybody wants me gone from here for taking on Sarasin let me know. I saw the treatment that other guy got.

---

 

 

I don't know the situation with 'that other guy' you are referring to, must have missed it.

 

BTW, are you that other guy?

 

 

[smittyjp]

You gotta be a little of both right? But mostly bad (your defiinition), I mean you can't go being jolly, tipping ho's and buying rounds all the time. This goes double if you are a known face. If you do then the problems mentioned are gonna arise and multiply. The girls have to know you call the shots, period.

 

Also, a gogo in my opinion is miles away from Thermae. Then again, is anything like Thermae? ::

 

Smitty