Good Guy or Bad Guy?

[short-time]

?Again, no violins or sad songs for me, please. It was all my doing, and I can handle it, but I was wondering if you think being good to BGs can actually backfire on you??

 

Yes, I do!

 

And as others have mentioned - perhaps the good guy/bad guy thing (especially as you define it) is a bit too black and white. Certainly it?s better to be perceived by the girls as a good guy (whatever that is?) than a stinker. But I suspect this probably has more to do with your general attitude or sanuk factor as opposed to breaking all records running up a bar tab with rounds of ladydrinks. I hope I?m not getting too personal here?

 

Okay, increasingly I?ve noticed from your posts that you make reference to buying lots of ladydrinks and being a big tipper as a good thing, and you seem to imply this is the yellow brick road to sanuk in the bars. Maybe - but I think anyone with a genuinely good attitude (such as yourself) could do just as well and at the same time avoid many of the problems you outline by being LESS generous.

 

There is something else that needs to be taken into consideration here and I?m not going to sugarcoat it for the sake of this board. In the bars you are dealing with prostitutes (whores :, hustlers, junkies, pimps (mamasans & barkeeps) and various other lowlifes who for the most part are ALL on the game. Not exactly the flower of humanity?

 

It?s basically a big hustle, and if you throw money around like Diamond Jim you will definitely find yourself amongst a bunch of sharks in a feeding frenzy. That?s just the way it is.

 

Sure, they may smile and toast to your generosity, but what are they really thinking? Could be at times they are just sizing you up as a sucker and figuring the best way to stuff your check bin.

 

Good guy, bad guy, I don?t know. I guess I?m basically just a cheap fuck who tries to have as much fun with the girls as is possible without dipping into my retirement funds? I do buy drinks for girls I?m interested in and I do tip, but I try to keep this to a minimum. I mean have any of you guys ever tasted a ?cola for me?? Somehow I suspect that from a BG perspective only a sucker would pay 100B for a splash of stale coke over an ice cube!

 

In spite of your current aversion to the Thermae I will be very surprised if you can stay out of the place for much more than a month - and it?s a sure thing that old sea hag will still be there with her hand out when you return.

 

ST

[Guest]

I look after me wallet FIRST! These ladies are superficially nice, it's their profession, simple as that. I am only nice to them if I get to get them to boom-boom me for a good price! They're businesswomen and SO AM I, a businessman!!!!!

Oh, and I never tip in gogos either. For what? a single minute of chit-chat with an uneducated girl who as soon as some Japanese guy walks through the door leaves without even finishing her drink or saying good bye (I reserve the "djaideeness" and the chatting to non-working ladies and my friends). And they can call me keneyaw or whatever I couldn't care less!!!!!!

[Guest]

If I had a dollar for each time my good nature was exploited by BGs....oh brother I would be a rich man!

 

Cheers

 

Jaga

[Guest]

i was just thinking...

 

if you really want to be a good guy, and seen as a good guy, don't play around with them. as long as you play around with them you are nothing else than a customer, maybe a good (or bad) one, but not more.

go and spend time with them in the places where they live, get involved with that side of their lives without any sexual afterthought, then you will be able to really earn their respect.

but the catch 22 is that by learning those things you very possibly will not enjoy the scene that much anymore.

[Sarisin]

Not directed specifically at Fly (although I really do appreciate his comment)...

 

I thank all of you for your advice and chiming in on this thread. I thought I was clear in my original post that I wasn't particularly looking for sympathy or advice on my particular situation. Fellows, I wasn't complaining or saying that I am doing something wrong or to please help me right this ship.

 

I was just looking to see if anyone else has had similar experiences - I know many of you responded that you did and listed them. But, I wasn't looking for behavior modification suggestions - sorry if that didn't come across in my post.

 

Once again, I guess I did screw up my definitions of 'good' and 'bad.' That's why I said please don't dwell on the definitions, just focus on if you perceive of yourself as a good guy, do you think you are often taken advantage of? I honestly tried to go back and edit this whole bit out this morning after thinking what I wrote, but the board software wouldn't let me go in because it was too late. My bad.

 

And, Vancouver Jay, in particular, I apologize to you if it seems like my definitions put a label on you - I didn't mean it to come out that way.

 

I don't believe anyone is taking anyone on here or even in the case of BlackStack. I think other members recognized his posts were personal attacks and flames and responded to that. I thought I was polite in my response to BS. There are ways to get your point across without being nasty, I think.

 

Anyway, as I seem to be aggravating a number of members, I will give it a rest for awhile. I am sorry if I am coming across as righteous or authoritarian or whatever with some guys. I will be in Hanoi 5 out of the next 7 weeks anyway and unable to read or contribute to this board.

 

I'll try to improve my writing and attitude when I get back.

[El_Tel]

Says short-time:

---

I mean have any of you guys ever tasted a ?cola for me?? Somehow I suspect that from a BG perspective only a sucker would pay 100B for a splash of stale coke on an ice cube!

---

ST, totally agree as so often in the past the lady-drink has remained untouched or she just has 1 sip. I always used to buy a drink for the girl if I liked her but I've stopped doing so.

What I do now is ask her if she would like a beer. I've had a lot of fun with girls who can knock back a few bottles rather than nursing an undrinkable 'cola'. If she doesn't drink beer then tough. I know that she'll lose the cut on the LD but if I like her there's a good chance that she'll be spending the night so compared to 1.5k Bt, the 30 BT drink cut becomes unimportant. A beer may cost more but it's a triffling amount as I feel cheated paying 90 BT for nothing.

[Guest]

I'm looking at 1-5, and I'm thinking what's the problem? Sounds like a blast. ::

 

I know the Old Bitch in there, and have told her to fuck off. She never bothers me again. There are some honeys in there still. As for bars, I just stick to beer bars mostly, so there doesn't seem to be as many hassles. If I go into a go-go bar it's to see a show like Angel Witch or just take a look-see at a new one. I never ever buy drinks in the gogo bars as a result, so I guess I'm a bad guy. IN the beer bars I can be either one. I let the girl(s) brinbg out the good or bad in me, just sort of go with the feel of the place. If I feel in a "bad" mode, time to move on; no sense sulking around in one spot when there are better places.

 

And just like Good Cop / Bad Cop, I can play either one on purpose.

[Guest]

Oh fuck! Sarasin I didn't mean for that to happen. Man, when I wrote the word righteous, I meant it as in "righteous dude" and as a compliment. You don't have to apologize to me for anything! Now look what I did. I would offer you my apology and to buy you a beer but no I think I owe you an entire bar.

 

I was just really trying to get the other side out there mostly. Me, my hangover and my crushnig sense of guilt will be crawling back under our rock now.

[cardinalblue]

I am not sure if good vs bad really applies to guys who go to gogos for different reasons.

 

I only buy drinks for girls who i know/like and feel like it at the time or wish to make a new friend. My tipping is no more than 10B or less per place. Am I a bad guy? I doubt it. I just don't want or need the attention anymore. I am just there to look and not do much interaction anymore. I might not be a great paying customer as they just don't make much off me anymore. Is that a bad guy?

 

I will label bad guys for ones who make fools of themselves like dancing on stage or becoming drunk/loud to the point of obnoxiouness or showing disrespect towards the girls or fellow customers.

 

As to Thermae, that old waitress always hits on me to buy her a drink but I am firm in my "no" and behavior towards her and she moves on. The resaon why she moves on? Too many softies who say yes to her. Am I being somewhat rude to her. Probably yes but so be it. Hey, nice guys end up in last place or waste alot of time in not trying to be rude. It might be a fine line between rudeness and a fool.

 

Over the years, I have become firmer/more serious in not engaing in BS or games with the girls or buying LDs/tipping the girls. By being an ex-pat, I see that as throwing money away but as a tourist I see that as an entetainrment cost. I don't see that as a wrong in either case. If that is rude or disrespectful, so be it. I don't use profanity or make facial/condescending gestures for them to go away. I am staight and direct but polite in my Thai communication with them. It does seem to work.....

 

They have bigger fish to fry than me.....

 

 

Cardinalblue

[Guest]

Hi Sarisin,

 

Tough question. I think I'm a good guy, because I often take them out for an outing, not related to sex....but to just have a good time with them. Because I like them, and enjoy being with them as people. I'm asumming you're asking this, as I know you give out candy/toys, as part of your 'mod', and sometimes are disappointed when you come up short, and the girls can be less than appriciative of the fact. The same goes for L/D's.

 

They are in business, and we are a commodity. They go to work every day to obtain money, and if we are not in a position to provide that for them, in whatever form, they will kick us to the wayside. No matter that you provided that for them, in the past. Today is today. And tomorrow rent is due.

 

Unless you can cough it up for them right now, the newbie walking through the front door, will always be seen as a brighter prospect. It's all business......and while being a 'good guy' does account for some merit with them, unfortunatly it means very little in the great scheme of things.....at least where their daily baht needs come into play.

 

HT