Good Guy or Bad Guy?

[Falang]

I am on the good guy side because when I go to a bar I am going to have fun there so I stick with the good guy. At the same time I must say that the good guy (me) have his limit and when they cross it I never go back there again and I stick with my decision.

 

I was ask on the street by a mamasan why I didn't go to her bar anymore and I said to her that bill padding and putting lady drink on my bill, drink that have go to ladies that I never spoke or get near them in my life was not a thing I was not prepare to accept and I said to her that I will never go back again in her bar. At this time she started to say that she will make sure that it will never happend again and that she was not aware of that bla bla bla ......

 

Now that is a news for me because she know everything that happend in her bar even when the bar is full she will notice a girl coming one minute late and she see everything without loosing one bit. I told her that she notice I was a big tipper and that I paid a lot of lady drink and that she was very happy to have a good customer like me but at the same time she let bill padding and lady drink who was no suppose to be on my bill going to my bill.

She was still trying to make me go back to her bar and I reply to her that if she see me going to her bar it will be to speak with the owner of the place about this bullshit.

 

I most say that she was not very happy with the conclusion of of this conversation.

 

I hope my move will let them think twice before they do that to the next good guy in town.

[rovineye]

I know what you mean sarasin.

 

It is a one way road in most places. I used to hang out at a bar beer in Soi Zero. Play darts with the girls mostly and with the owner. Never took a girl from there. Always bought drinks for the girl i played darts with plus the chalker from time to time.

 

One very drunk night I bought serveral rounds. many many in fact! It was a great fun night tho.

But after that night they expected the same thing every time, and became demanding. I don't go there any more.

 

Ther is one other bar runined for me ina similar way, but it was when I bought a phone card for a lady who couldn't call her daughter on her birthday. It was no con and she was shocked when I gave her the card. But after that it was non stop requests for all kinds of stuff. Not from her but other girls that saw what happened. I never go there any more (another good dart bar ruined for me).

 

There are a few other good dart bars I have been going to for years that are still great. But I keep my jai dee in check and never take a girl from those bars (not so easy).

[Tiger Moth]

Here are some thoughts I had when I read your post that I offer for your consideration:

Not to be too philosophical, but the problem you have is the disparity between the way you would like to be and the behavior that you get in response vs the behavior you would like to get in response.

 

You don't want to a bad guy but when you are yourself, the good guy, you get the undesirable response that you describe. So, under the circumstances you seem to be faced with 2 choices, each of which are undesirable: 1) be the bad guy so that you won't have to deal with the types of problems you describe or 2) be as you are and have your night ruined be the people you mentioned.

 

Well, you obviously must do something. So, rather than deal with the black and white alternatives described above, it might be best to make several small changes. As an example - 1) Even though you like to be nice to everyone, be more cool and less generous when dealing with the more desparate personalities. 2) Be nice when you won't face a repercussions. For example, with a good taxi driver (who you obviously won't have to encounter again) give an extra 100 baht tip. Or, give an extra generous handout to a beggar. Or, give to some charity. 3) Stay away from Thermae for a couple of months. When you go back, change your demeanor and be very forceful when you encountering the problem people - so, they will know things are not the same.

 

Well, you get the idea and I am sure you can come up with your own strategies. But, the obvious point is that you seem to be by nature too nice a person for some of types one can encounter in BKK, Thermae in particular. So, you may have to go against your nature a bit to protect yourself.

 

Hope something here is of some use to you.

[khwaimaisabai]

Hi sarisin,

 

I know what you mean and there is one bar in Soi Cowboy where I am taken advantage of - but no more because I don't go now. Also another place in the Asok car park area where I have stopped going.

 

Maybe using the term "bad guy" is not right - obviously upset vancouver.... If people want to be like that then there is no harm in it. I think the point you are making is that many people find that by taking the "good guy" approach, it makes it all more enjoyable for many people, but runs the risk of being taken advantage of. There are many places where I take the same attitude and have no problem of this sort - like you I guess.

 

Khwai

[AhTeckLim]

Agreed. Some bars I am the star of the party and in the same nite , I can be the 'Lone Ranger' in another bar!

 

It all depends on the girls , mood , drinks etc

[pattaya127]

Anybody wants me gone from here for taking on Sarasin let me know

---------------------------

you are doing fine. Yes, sarisin is a long-standing member, but that means he can take your tit for his tat.

i find hard to believe that as a frequent visitor of P4P joints, he has not found the perfect way, a long time ago, to deal with the kind of advantage-taking situations he finds himself in sometimes.

 

[pattaya127]

They harangue me to take them and when I refuse, they refuse to go away until I give them a tip for food/transportation/their kid?s college fund/a downpayment on a condo in Aspen.

------------------------------------

 

But you told us not long ago, that expat regulars like you do not have to deal with the kind of greed Bgs impose on guys who are less of a fixture to the scene. What gives? ::

[sky brow]

Mailuk,

 

 

 

 

Me thinks he is

 

 

 

sky brow.

[legover]

Thermae has a special collection of weirds & gone down the drain anyway. maybe you?re too well known now. buying drinks, tipping & lending money?s a waste of time. They compare farang with thai guys who control things better & farangs lose a bit more of the little respect they got from them if they had any to start with, they even earn contempt. I used to give the girl lots of freedom and she wasted money left and right. Now she brings back receipts, the right change, bargains for stuff better, got her down to half the monthly money I used to give her and she?s just as happy. Another thing, farangs who aren?t here as tourists don?t need to be cash cows and they accept this.

[Old Hippie]

When in BKK, I hang out with a friend of mine who lives there, and speaks Thai quite well. As we make the rounds, he never buys Lady drinks (still shaking from that incident in Tony bar!! ). He is still on very good terms with the girls in many bars, and can get very good deals, that I can't get! God I am so jealous of him!!! :onfire: