Are you the only one???

[Guest]

>>IMO a Thai person's (man or woman) view of a relationship is very very different from a westerners.<<<

 

Well I dunno, just listen to all the Thai love songs. Not so much different from those in the West.

 

Of course with a BG it's often different, especially if your relationship started as a customer. Wonder if after some time many of them at some point will truly view the relationship different. If not what's the problem in her mind to have more steady customers each providing for her in his own way.

[pattaya127]

Pe7, mai cow jai, FJ.

 

why do you have to think you are being set up? that is the thing i never understand on this board. Can't you guys see that most girls are happy to have a BF or 2 or 3 to talk about vs none. Everty time i go to a girl's bedroom, the first thing she does is to show me the little albums of pix taken over the years. shows stuff from the village, Bday party with Gfs and stuff with guys, and they are just happy to show you someone took care of them and took them places.

I think Mai Cow jai talk about fidelity. Come on, again! it's not about fidelity, it's about bringing/sending some bacon home every month. Until a guy serves her with a visa and a plane ticket to farangland, the future stays uncertain, and now the thread gets reversed: how do they know this guy will always be there, since he comes here only one time or a couple times a year, for most farangs.

There is too much of a western way of looking at a BG/farang meeting, in your posts, IMO. the whole scene may be skewed, but it's not the girls doing the skewing, it just comes with the "territory" and everyone does it.

 

PS: the girls who tell you right out that they are schemers and want as many Bfs as they can, for the sake of breaking their hearts and their wallets are, IMO, a small minority. And if they do, very few can hide it, Bgs may lie but they lack a few skills to play the part correctly. IME

[torrenova]

I've never been inclined to support a working girl although have frequently supported a string of girlfriends and an ex wife over the years to some extent.

 

One really nice girl I saw a few days in a row on back to back trips to Pattaya stopped working in the bar (she really had just come in from normal work in Bangkok and hated the game). She never asked for anything but stopped going to school, went back home and then came back to see me in Pattaya. Now she needed money (no work) and I asked her what was the score. She wouldn't say but kept getting texts from a guy in Sweden - not hard to guess. I just wanted her to be honest and because I liked her, I might have given her a larger tip on the final day.

 

One friend who lives in Pattaya was giving money to a girl's parents to fix up the house (20k per month). They then gave some to her. She "stopped work" but of course didn't. He found out and stopped paying. Some time later she showed him a bank transfer for a few hundred thousand baht from another sucker - and still sleeps with him sometimes.

 

I believe the girl I was with really wanted out and hopefully she has found her way. I wasn't going to do it (although I will admit it did cross my mind) but I would get so suspicious if the mobile was switched off, or she went incommunicado for a couple of days that it would drive me mad. I guess though that if I was seriously loaded, I would do it if it suited me as the money would be of no concern.

 

Overall, I'm not sure how long I would have to be with a Thai girl 24/7 to really trust her. Unfortunately, I think there would always be the element of doubt, not due to the girl in question but due to the overall predisposition of girls who play the game.

 

I won't even get started on whether they really love you or simply think you have a "good heart" (and can support mama and papa etc.).

[pattaya127]

With more assurances that I'm there for a long run and undivided attention to her, things have changed.

That's the key: when she feels secure she may consider falling in love the man. People who had been loved by women know to recognize absence/presence of that.

--------------------

very sensible, TTM. The problem is that as you talk about and understand her as a woman, many are stuck with these 2 letters: BG, ad nauseam. There are many rewards for those who take the pain to go beyond that.

[Guest]

Says orandanodes:

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>>IMO a Thai person's (man or woman) view of a relationship is very very different from a westerners.<<<

 

Well I dunno, just listen to all the Thai love songs. Not so much different from those in the West.

 

Of course with a BG it's often different, especially if your relationship started as a customer. Wonder if after some time many of them at some point will truly view the relationship different. If not what's the problem in her mind to have more steady customers each providing for her in his own way.

---

 

 

 

looking at some of the posters here i wonder if thais are not a lot more romantic than us sometimes...but then, i guess, BG's with a whole big bag of bad experiences are no better than farang who carry similar bags on their shoulders.

 

love relationships between BG's and former customers do develop, but it takes a lot of effort, committment and patience on both sides, and a lot of working out the past as well. one thing is rather sure - a farang coming here with the white knight saviour attitude will have severe difficulties, and the one who looks for that submissive little chicken, constantly moaning about western women's emanzipation, will also have some unpleasant experiences.

just because most thai women who marry farang are from rather poor and uneducated backgrounds does not mean that they are stupid. in abilities of empathy they are often far more advanced than most farang as this is more or less the only thing which keeps them surviving in that very complex society here.

[Guest]

Good observations fly.

[walletss]

"I lub yoo, not your munee)... "

you only told us half the story. Is the relationship still going or did it eventually boil down to the practicalities of life? LOL

[Redbaron]

It's still going strong.. .. well, as strong as it can while she's in LOS and I'm down under. She came over for a month's holiday in June, and I'll be back there in a few months. If all goes well, she'll come down under for 6 months next year.

Met the family and all that last year, money was never an issue (no requests etc) a good time was had by all. Me and the grandmother demolished a few cases of chang and everything was just dandy.

The odd email mentions her finances, but so far there's been no ransoms. To be honest, I think a request will come before xmas though. No reason to think that, just a hunch (paranoia?). But it's been discussed before (topic raised by me) and she seems cool about it all.

[ThaiHome]

I think this spot on post went right over most people's head and splattered against the wall.

Some people get it and some never will.

TH

 

[walletss]

" To be honest, I think a request will come before xmas though. No reason to think that, just a hunch (paranoia?)"

 

I think after a while we all come to the realisation that in Thai culture the haves will have to share with the have nots, even if that is going to cramp our own financial goals to some extent.

 

Can you a farang really imagine himself living in comparitive luxury with his Thai lady where the rest of her family struggle on a susbsistence level?

Sooner or later there will be some pressure applied. I don't know you but I now me and for most part I make it clear that I am not going to pay for anything other than entertainment expenses. If I can see that my relationship is increasingly focused on financial considerations then I would rather stick to p4p.