I am looking for trouble!

[Guest]

I am looking for trouble!

 

Preface:

You might remember that I posted on this board that I was planning to see a BG that I had met one year ago. We were exchanging e-mails, almost every day, and calling each other also every day. I was believing that she might really be interested in me. She searched me at the airport and I paied her barfine to stay with me for 4 weeks. After one week I had to admit to myself that she saw in me nothing more than an easy customer. So I told her to leave.

 

Main part:

I decided to spent the rest of my holidays alone, just spending some time at a beerbar. The boss of the bar (thai woman) is a friend of mine. Now there was coming a young girl working in this bar, i.e. she cleans up in the morning. Ok, she was pretty in my eyes, but I really didn't want to fall in love again. So I just played pool with her from time to time. (no lady drinks). After one week I had to admit that I liked her very much. The bar owner and the staff was doing their best to bringing us together.

Finally I invited her for a movie, lunch, to go shopping etc... First she was reluctant even to go and eat something with me. After 2 weeks she allowed me to try to kiss her...

She doesn't speak english, has no ID card (mother is from lao, father is thai) and still virgin (ok, I have no proove of it, but she definitely had no idea how to kiss.)

I was falling in love more every day, and finally I even prolonged my holidays for one week. She didn't want to come to a beach with me alone, so I invited the bar owner to come with us as a chaperon. Unfortunately the bar owner couldn't come (her husband didn't like the idea). But finally my "gf" came with me alone.

When we arrived in Ko Samed, I made the mistake not to ask for 2 rooms :: But she had no other choice than to accept (I would have asked for 2 rooms if I had known that she wanted to stay in her own room). So we spent 3 days at the beach. There was no sex, just kissing, she says that she wants to wait till she is married.

 

Addendum:

I am in love, she is representing fairly well my dream concerning both, beauty and character (as far as I can tell after 4 weeks).

 

She is 13 years younger, there is a communication problem, she has no papers, no education and stays in the sukhumvit area.

 

I clearly told her that I am commited (also with money, but she doesn't believe me). She says that she wants to wait for me (which I don't believe).

 

I plan to see her again in 5 months.

 

 

Why do I post this? Because maybe you are interested in it, and if it is only because you can show me how deep in trouble I am. ::

Any advices how I could handle that she is an illegal immigrant are welcome.

 

Best regards

 

[Old Hippie]

Wish you the best of luck! Hope it works better than my last venture in love with a "GTG." you never know where love will rear it's ugly head, just try to be sensible about it, and go from there...I would be concerned about the no sex thing, as it can mean several different things...

[Guest]

OH,

 

thanks for the good wishes!

Now about the non sex thing:

 

1) she doesn't like sex. I don't think so, she is sensual.

2) she plays the good girl. Hmm, she kisses as if she never kissed before. And she doesn't play the "good" girl in other circumstances, for example she has no idea how a "good" girl dresses.

3) she wants to trap me into marriage. That would be smart, to give up virginity only after marriage.

 

Now, I don't like to buy a cat in the bag. But if this is the only problem...

 

Hmm, what other ideas do you have concerning the non-sex thing?

 

Best regards

[BelgianBoy]

Naiv,

 

Thanks for sharing your story and your concerns.

 

How do you communicate ? in Swiss-german or in Thai ? or even with a third person present ?

No kidding, communication is all there is, my GF and me speak at least a full hour each day !

 

Or you just agreed to meet again in february / march ?

I dont know, seems a bit doomed to me......

 

I dont even want to venture on the cultural and educational differences......

 

I wish you luck, but fear dark clouds ahead.....

 

Cheers !

[Old Hippie]

"...Hmm, what other ideas do you have concerning the non-sex thing?..."

 

Not joking here, could be a guy (slight possibility).

 

having her period, embarassed to tell you.

 

Not a virgin, but doesn't want to have sex (know a girl like this, as she was raped when she was 17 and still a virgin)

 

possible infection(s) doesn't want to share or waiting for it to cure (have had this happen)

 

may have a "flawed body" (in her mind) doesn't want you to see it (had this happen, girl with a breast burned by hot oil in an accident)

 

possible "baby marks" from child birth, thus not a virgin...

 

She just wants a holiday with a nice guy who will not make her have sex ...

 

Other possibilities, of course, she could actually be waiting to get married...bottom line as I said, proceed with caution, it is easy to get sucked in and burned. I will also say, over the years, I have seen many diamonds in the rough so to speak, in other words, you can get a good girl in this environment! Stay in touch with her, and see her again asap, but try to keep an even heart until then... Best of luck!

 

[Guest]

OK. I am presuming that she is legitimate and you only partially live up to your handle.

 

No doubt MANY will rightfully warn you of all the perils, and advise against getting your hopes up for the future.......and they will probably turn out to be correct.

 

[color:"blue"] Any advices how I could handle that she is an illegal immigrant are welcome.

[/color]

 

Well a little more info is required if I am to guide you to a possible solution.

 

Was she born in LOS?

What was the status of the Lao mother at the time.?

 

These 2 questions, the last in particular, will determine if she is entitled to be a Thai citizen or not. Now getting it to the legal paperwork stage is another set of problems, that can be tackled later..........first lets see if she is Thai or not.

 

So here's your first challenge in communication with her......get to it and let us know. If you prefer, you can PM me.

 

Best of luck.

[Guest]

Thanks LaoHuLi,

 

now if I remember correctly, she was born in Lao. I don't know what the status of her mother was at that time, but I will ask her.

 

Best regards

 

 

[pattaya127]

my GF and me speak at least a full hour each day !

-------------------

One lousy hour! I think we, here at nanaP, are definitely closer to you, then....

[pattaya127]

just keep us update, if you wish. Otherwise;

How many times you guys correspond while you're away? What sort of communication did you have for 4 weeks, that was clearly different from having a wonderful vacation with a woman one is smitten with?

Did you encourage her to learn english in the next 5 months? maybe help with it?

 

[Guest]

We don't correspond very often. (phone call 2 per week, 1 mail per week, some SMS)

 

During the time we stayed together, we communicated either with the help of friends (I don't like this) or with the help of my very limited knowledge of thai. Which was ok for daily things as where and what to eat etc. but clearly not enough for deep conversations about life.

But the vacation were wonderful for me! :: (My first true romance... No, I had GFs before, but no romance)

 

Actually she wants to learn english, her boss told her to learn it and I am willing to pay for english courses. But I was told that they ask for the ID card when you want to visit a regular english school. Is this true? Or are there any schools which don't ask for your ID?

 

I take myself thai courses, but I am not very skilled in languages so there will be little improvement from my side

 

Best regards