Guest Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 First of all let me say "HAPPY NEW YEAR 2004" for everybody and wish you all the best I've accidentally just met one Farang (I?ll call him ?J?) on the latest ?Loi Kra Thong Day?, which is about two months ago. He is a 54 years old man with no kids and never been married at all in his entire life. He is not a dark tall and handsome guy, but for me he is a very attractive guy, who has got a very unique character and for me he actually looks a lot younger than his age (maybe 40 something). I kind of surprised when I firstly know his age and even more surprised to know that he has kept himself as a bachelor until now. I still couldn?t believe that I really have a big crush on this guy, who is older than me for almost three decades (26 years)!!! Since I?ve been finished with my previous relationship for half a year, I did not find anybody who can really make my heart beat so fast again until this time. This is totally out of my plan for my dream guy, i.e. I used to be anti of a smoker, but for him is exceptional. Can?t help, but it?s very interesting for me also to find out why he has kept himself single for so long. He told me that he used to have a very close relationship, which almost brought him to a marriage in his previous relationship (so did I) and he did had several bar girl girlfriends, but not exclusive one. After I?ve seen him for couple months, I?ve realized that he really has a well protection for himself and whenever we seem to be closer, he will try to step back and keep some space of our relationship. I asked him that if he is just afraid to be hurt or he is not ready for a serious relationship or he just enjoys of being single. He said something about he doesn?t think it?s fair to encourage me when he just seems to be too old and set in his singular ways. ?Maybe? is the answer from him when I ask if he is afraid to be hurt? He didn?t say that he gives up on a relationship, but he told me that he just still doesn?t feel ?LOVE? at the moment and he can?t force it. Anyway, he admitted that I?m different from other girls and I kind of reminding him about the romantic feeling of his first love when he was about 19-20 years old. I met one of his very close friends recently at the New Year?s party that he invited me to. His friend told me that he has never seen ?J? invited any girls to the party before? ?you must be very special for him? I feel good to hear something like that and I asked him again if it?s true about this and he say yes. I admit that I like ?J? a lot, but still wondering if this is just because I want to feel that I?m over him or I really want to win his heart. Is it worth for me to invest myself for that? I want to show him that real love still existing in this world and what the real happiness is. Is this just a game for me? What will I get to do that? Will I be hurt? I heard that your first instinct is always the right feeling, so my sixth sense is telling me that this guy is a nice guy?he is exactly the guy who I dream of and definitely want to spend the rest of my life with. Oh, my god?is this called ?Love at first sight?? Can I believe in my instinct? Should I stop it now or should I give it a try? I?m very confused that should I follow my head or my heart? Please tell me that what do you think about my situation and what do you think about a bachelor like ?J? or any bachelor out there can share me the reasons why do you like to be a bachelor or what is the most important thing that really keep you there? How to make it work in this relationship for me? Thank you in advanced for any suggestion. [ edited titled - BB ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mongatu Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Hi there P_Pla, I think that you are the only one who can really answer most of the questions you ask. But they are good questions to be asking yourself and thinking about. Sounds like your friend "J" is a lucky guy to have someone like you interested in him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfinkz Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 "..why do you like to be a bachelor or what is the most important thing that really keep you there." ________________________________________________ Playing the odds, the chief reason is equally divided between homosexuality ("never seen "J" invited any girls to the party before") and selfishness ("He said...too..set in his singular ways.") At least this is what was speculated at times by new acquaintances about myself before first marrying in my 40s, with the latter being at least partially true. Now, I wouldn't have it any other way. Good luck and give him some time, longer than the current less than two months as this is a blink of an eye for someone twice your age and it is unlikely he is entertaining other serious possibilities and allow yourself a chance to determine if he continues to be "totally out of plan for my dream guy." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 I asked him that if he is just afraid to be hurt or he is not ready for a serious relationship or he just enjoys of being single. He said something about he doesn?t think it?s fair to encourage me when he just seems to be too old and set in his singular ways. He is 54 never married no kids. This leads me to believe that he may mean exactly what he told you. Be careful about being so serious with this man, he is not about you. Sorry :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 Why don't you tell us a bit more about yourself? Ever been close to a farang, even a friend? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gummigut Posted January 2, 2004 Report Share Posted January 2, 2004 How is that particularly relevant to the question? <<burp>> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted January 3, 2004 Report Share Posted January 3, 2004 He told me that he used to have a very close relationship, which almost brought him to a marriage in his previous relationship ... You may find some of the answers you're looking for in his past. If he does not want to reveal too many details about himself and his previous relationship then he obviously needs more time to forget and learn to live with it. If he opens up and tells you why his previous relationship ended en how then you might find out or understand why this guy 'needs' to keep some space between the both of you. Goodluck, and a Happy New Year to you too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 3, 2004 Report Share Posted January 3, 2004 I just felt that he is very honest on his feeling and that's why I like him so much. I don't think I want to change him (I can't anyway) due to I just like the way he is...being himself...do not follow the crowd and that really makes him outstanding from other guys I've met. He is someone who I feel that he cares people and the rest of the world more than just money in his pocket. Sometimes he seems to be cold to me and that's how he keeps a space between us, but I don't know why the more he ignore me, the more attractive he is. Is it just because I'm in love with him? In fact, we do have a lot of things in common and he is very nice to me when I'm with him. The only problem is that there is still a wall between us that he's created. Thinking about his age, he definitely seems to be too old for me and sometimes I'm telling myself that I'm still young and got some qualities and opportunities to meet a lot of guys who will like and be nice to me...that's why I'm not sure that I should follow my head or my heart. Too bad...I always ending up following my heart :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfinkz Posted January 3, 2004 Report Share Posted January 3, 2004 I can appreciate the struggles between your head and heart in analyzing the obvious cultural and age differences but you should listen to your stomachs as well. One who is hungry (and you seem to be growling after recently ending a relationship) and one who has no appetite ("J" seems sated with his lack thereof) seldom make agreeable dinner companions. The only hope is that if you can arouse him from his dormancy he should be quite voracious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted January 3, 2004 Report Share Posted January 3, 2004 How is that particularly relevant to the question? ------------------------------------ Just hard enough to follow up one's friends amorous quandaries, so total strangers..... Maybe she asked a generic answer, (i went back twice to this thread, the first I thought it was a boy/boy RT ::. PLa has kindly PM-ed me that her story was in another thread BTW) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.