Reasons For Men Who Like Being "A Bachelor"

[Guest]

do not follow the crowd and that really makes him outstanding from other guys I've met.

 

It seems that you haven't met a lot of extraordinary men then. And didn't you write that he is a smoker? So he definitely followed the crowd when he was young.

 

that's why I'm not sure that I should follow my head or my heart.

 

Always follow your head! What is called heart is most of the time some unconscious feeling, in this case probably a mixture of a daughter-father and a nurse-patient relationship.

Sorry for the hard words, maybe I am wrong.

 

the more he ignore me, the more attractive he is.

 

This trick works for a lot of women....

 

I still don't see why you love him. Can you explain yourself better?

 

Best regards

[Guest]

t seems that you haven't met a lot of extraordinary men then. And didn't you write that he is a smoker? So he definitely followed the crowd when he was young.

 

Yes, he is a smoker, but he smokes (not cigarette though) occasionally only sometimes when he is by himself or when he wants to feel relaxed or listen to a nice music. According to my career and my social life, I think I do meet a lot of people, but maybe none of them are extraordinary men.

 

 

 

Always follow your head! What is called heart is most of the time some unconscious feeling, in this case probably a mixture of a daughter-father and a nurse-patient relationship.

Sorry for the hard words, maybe I am wrong.

 

How about follow your instinct? Due to my instinct that I have for him keep telling me that he actually has a good heart, but there is something protect him from showing them all. When I'm with him, I don't feel that he is old as like I said his appreance still look a lot younger than his age as well as his charracter. Yes, sometimes I feel warm like he is my father and also feel at ease like he is my friend who I can talk to. But like I mentioned before whenever I feel closer to him, he will try to step back and keep some space btw us.

 

 

still don't see why you love him. Can you explain yourself better?

 

I can see that we have a lot of things in common...like the same music, pet, hobby, food, places and have the same main concept of life... I like to go out with him and he has a lot of interesting activities and nice friends. I like to talk to him since he seems to know everything about the world more than I do or he can tell me a lot of things that I don't know or we can enjoy discussing things together. Like I mentioned before...he is someone who I feel that he cares people and the rest of the world more than just money in his pocket. Maybe it's also about chemistry as I just feel that he's so attractive to me in everyway...physically, mentally, intimately and spiritually...

[Guest]

why do you like to be a bachelor or what is the most important thing that really keep you there?

 

1) I don't like to be a bachelor

2) what keeps me there: I am an old, ugly, stupid, selfish man. ::

 

Seriously, I haven't met yet a woman whom I would like to marry and who would like to marry me.

 

I have read about a study which came to the conclusion that most singles are neither willingly singles nor enjoy this status.

 

Best regards

[Guest]

you seem to be growling after recently ending a relationship) and one who has no appetite ("J" seems sated with his lack thereof) seldom make agreeable dinner companions. The only hope is that if you can arouse him from his dormancy he should be quite voracious.

 

This is a very good point to bringing it up about my recently breaking up relationship will cause me feel strongly in love with "J". The fact is this is one part of the reason that I think why he try to keep some space btw us because he is not so sure that the feeling I have for him is real or it is just because I need someone to replace in my heart. I've been checking myself as well and found that after I have been spending time alone since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, I'm even more happy with myself and it seems that I just kind of discovering myself and being myself more than the past. I don't even think that I want to have a new relationship or I was ready for a new relationship until I've found "J". I am sure I don't have a feeling for him because I'm just feel lonely. It likes when you feel so hungry, any food seems to be so good for you, but only particular thing that you like, you can eat it all the time even you are not hungry. I'm sure I'm not that hungry. But I may have to find the way to arouse "J" to feel hungry again. Or I just need to make him feel that there is no poison in the food, please enjoy it!!!

 

How can I know if he just want to keep himself as a bachelor or he is not so sure about me?

[Guest]

I heard that your first instinct is always the right feeling, so my sixth sense is telling me that this guy is a nice guy?

The first instinct isn't always right, it depends on the person (ie. you). What experiences do you have with your first instinct? Good or bad?

 

he is exactly the guy who I dream of and definitely want to spend the rest of my life with.

Why? Make a list of the qualities which you require from your perfect guy and compare the list with his real qualities. (Be critical!)

By the way you are lying to yourself here. Because you mention that your perfect guy doesn't smoke, but he does. So there is at least one point where your friend doesn't fit to your list.

 

Oh, my god?is this called ?Love at first sight??

Love at first sight is if your heart beats fastly when you see a person the first time. (what seems to be the case here.) Don't mix love at first sight with your decision to spend the rest of your life with someone. You can love at first sight a person whom you would never consider to spend your life with. (in the extreme for example a criminal).

 

Can I believe in my instinct? Should I stop it now or should I give it a try? I?m very confused that should I follow my head or my heart?

It isn't true that the head and the heart are adversaries, they are partner instead: The heart is responsible for feelings (love at first sight, he is nice, he is too old, I want to show him that love exists, is it a game, ....), the head should be used to make decisions, ie to decide which feelings should be followed. (to analyze your feelings, where they came from, ask questions, ...)

 

 

Personally I don't believe that you see your situation in the right light. You try to tell us that he is mister perfect (for you) but at the same time you are (were?!) anti of a smoker, you think that he is too old, he always step back when your relationship becomes closer,... This doesn't sound to me like a perfect romantic affair!

 

I don't say that you shouldn't try to gain his heart. I only tell you that you should first admit that he isn't perfect. Begin to see his mistakes as well then you can decide.

 

Best regards

[Guest]

Hi P_PLA,

 

thanks for the nice response. I am surely not really qualified to give you advices about relationships, but I want to add some more ideas.

 

Or I just need to make him feel that there is no poison in the food, please enjoy it!!!

 

But what if he would like an appetizer but your are presenting him a main meal?

 

How can I know if he just want to keep himself as a bachelor or he is not so sure about me?

 

You could present me to him and then I would tell you.

More seriously: Why are you in a hurry? Maybe he isn't sure about his feelings. Or his feelings will change. Or he isn't sure about your feelings.

For me, 2 months are a very short time and I would never believe a woman that she loves me after such a short time.

Why don't you just enjoy your time with him? And try to be more patient.

 

By the way can you give us an example how he tries to take some distance from you?

 

Best regards

[Guest]

By the way can you give us an example how he tries to take some distance from you?

 

Firstly, he never accept me as his girlfriend yet. It seems to me that he doesn't want to feel that I'm so important to him by cancelling our dating or telling me that he just want to be by himself sometimes. Whenever he agrees that it's good idea for us to do something or we make good plan together, he will ruin it or stop it from happening. Like one time he told me that he wants me to meet with his brother when he is in town, but he just ignore it when the time comes. For me, I feel like he is not ready for me to know him too much. Or he just think that I'm too good to be true, hur?

 

I hope his feelings will change or my feelings will change...I really can't tell

[Guest]

The fear of being "halved, quartered or more" from one's hard earned money, is probably the overwhelming reason to remain a bachelor. Divorce laws have been corrupted so much, that they have become the antithesis of justice.

 

Pay for play in the land of smiles is the way to go, eh? :beer: :beer:

[Sukhumvit]

So, he's 54 never married nor sprogs.

Could be that he's just got out of the monkey house after a long stretch.

Ask him if he's got a record. And I don't mean by Westlife.

 

A friend of mine recently got married just after his 40th birthday. He had only been going out with the woman for 5 months before the wedding. I think he was getting hormonal.

 

The term "confirmed bachelor" was used euphemistically to refer to a homosexual at one time.

 

Of course there is the option that he's one of those lucky guys who've been able to enjoy themselves without marital ties yet. Just like me!

[gummigut]

Gah, he's fifty some odd. Set in his ways. He doesn't want or fears closeness. You've tried knocking and while he cracks the door open, it's still chained.

 

MOVE ON

 

You're getting older too!

 

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