Zaad Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 Hi, Got the idea from Artiew's thread, didn't want to hijack his, so started a new one. Don't know many good oneliners but know enough "multi-liners" or hilarious dialogues.. One of my all-time favourites from Pulp Fiction: CAPT. KOONS: This watch was on your Daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured and put in a Vietnamese prison camp. Now he knew if the gooks ever saw the watch it's be confiscated. The way your Daddy looked at it, that watch was your birthright. And he'd be damned if and slopeheads were gonna put their greasy yella hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide somethin'. His ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then when he died of disentary, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fidel Posted July 7, 2004 Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 From "Withnail & I" Uncle Monty to Marwood: You are a toilet trader! Go with it boy, give into to it. It's like a tide. Don't let it ruin your youth as I nearly did over Eric. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted July 7, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2004 As for my signo.... JULES: What country you from! BRETT: What? JULES: "What" ain't no country I know! Do they speak English in "What?" BRETT: What? JULES: English-motherfucker-can-you-speak-it? BRETT: Yes. JULES: Then you understand what I'm sayin'? BRETT: Yes. JULES: Now describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like! BRETT: What? JULES: Say "What" again! C'mon, say "What" again! I dare ya, I double dare ya motherfucker, say "What" one more goddamn time! Now describe to me what Marsellus Wallace looks like! BRETT: Well he's ...he's...black -- JULES: -- go on! BRETT: ...and he's...he's...tall -- JULES: -- does he look like a bitch?! BRETT: What? JULES: Does-he-look-like-a-bitch?! BRETT: No. JULES: Then why did you try to fuck 'im like a bitch?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooNoi Posted July 8, 2004 Report Share Posted July 8, 2004 From "Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels": "What do you mean 'no can do?' Is that anywhere near 'Kathmandu?' I don't think so, is it?" and from Snatch: "He is supposed to be a getaway driver. Have you seen the size of him? Would you mind telling me exactly what he is supposed to be able to get away from?" And many, many others from those movies! Great flicks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted July 10, 2004 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2004 Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Do you think I'm cute Private Pyle; do you think I'm funny? Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face. Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Well any fucking time sweetheart! Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I'm trying sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-fucking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: ONE! TWO! THREE! Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I can't help it sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit! Get on your knees scumbag. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Now choke yourself. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: God dammit with my hand numb nuts. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Don't pull my fucking hand over there. I said choke yourself; now lean forward and choke yourself. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [choking Pyle] Are you through grinning? Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit, I can't hear you. Private Gomer Pyle: [Louder] Sir, yes sir. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit, I still can't hear you. Sound off like you've got a pair. Private Gomer Pyle: SIR, YES SIR! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: That's enough; get on your feet. Private Pyle you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up. Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes sir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiery Jack Posted July 10, 2004 Report Share Posted July 10, 2004 From the latter stages of 'Jerry Maguire'... INTERIOR, LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT Jerry enters. Dorothy is seated toward the back. JERRY Hello. I'm looking for my wife. Dorothy looks up, robbed of words. Stunned, she does not move. JERRY (continuing) Alright. If this is where it has to happen, then this is where it has to happen. Dorothy says nothing. JERRY (continuing) I'm not letting you get rid of me. How about that? He shares a look with some of the other feminist women. She's not going to say a word. Neither do they. JERRY (continuing) This used to be my specialty. I was good in a living room. Send me in there, I'll do it alone. And now I just... I don't know... but on what was supposed to be the happiest night of my business life, it wasn't complete, wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn't share it with you. I couldn't hear your voice, or laugh about it with you. I missed my wife. We live in a cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors, so try not to laugh... -- (directly to Dorothy) ...I love you. You complete me. DOROTHY Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at "hello". You had me at hello. jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted July 11, 2004 Report Share Posted July 11, 2004 From Scent of a Woman Colonel Slade (Al Pacino): Out of order, I'll show you out of order! You don't know what out of order is Mr. Trask! I'd show you but I'm too old, I'm too tired, and I'm too fuckin' blind. If I were the man I was five years ago I'd take a flame-thrower to this place. Out of order, who the hell do you think you're talking to? I've been around you know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen, boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there isn't nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit, there is no prosthetic for that. You think you're merely sending this splendid foot-soldier back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs but I say that you are executing his soul. And why? Because he's not a Baird man. Baird men, you hurt this boy, you're going to be Baird Bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever you are out there, fuck you too. Another from same movie Colonel Slade: There are 2 kinds of people in this world, Charlie. The first group is the people that face the music; the second group are those who run for cover. Cover is better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted July 11, 2004 Report Share Posted July 11, 2004 Jack, you are a hopeless romantic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gobbledonk Posted July 11, 2004 Report Share Posted July 11, 2004 Who'd a thought it ??? Ah, I suspect ole Jack is just pulling our proverbials - and he knows how much we enjoy that ! :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiery Jack Posted July 11, 2004 Report Share Posted July 11, 2004 artiew said:Who'd a thought it ???... Ah, I suspect ole Jack is just pulling our proverbials - and he knows how much we enjoy that ! :: Nope. Honestly, I can't watch that particular scene, nor even read the script, without tears welling up in my blue eyes. On the other hand, I've just drunk 6 cans of guinness and the best part of a bottle of Teachers for breakfast , and I can't even watch a shampoo commercial or read the back of a bus ticket without bursting into tears right now... (You're my best fucking pals, by the way, you are. I love you sooooo much. Who the fuck are you looking at, Old Hippie, you cunt? And you, Fartview. Outside, pal. : jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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