jasmine Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 Reference: Sakul Thai Magazine of the month August 2004. A wife of 60 years of age wrote to a column similar to ?Ann Landers? saying that she had been married for 24 years to a man who is 8 years younger. They have had successful business, the husband is faithful and a very good father and husband. The problem is that she wants to retire from work and being a wife in order to enter a nun-hood. However, she feels that her husband needs a woman who can be a sexual partner and takes care of other needs so she asked the columnist to advertise for a wife in the age between 30-45. The husband wants her to find a woman for him. The columnist replies that, it is not like ?old Thailand?, which a wife can look for the concubines for the husband. She suggested that the wife practiced ?Metta? which can mean kindness and understanding and to bind her time until all obligations are complete. The columnist also states that the idea of getting a woman for men should be re-evaluated because it is no longer right to just using another woman. I am aware that in the ?old Thailand? many wives did this, some willingly, some were forced to. I told my mother about it and she said that a neighbor (a few house down the road) did just that and everyone is happy, they hired a very nice Isaan woman of the 38 yrs. old. She also said that many women due to hormones change and so on get tired of being a wife and do want to retire. (now I understand this) This sounds strange to the people like me who has time in the West more than in Thailand, does it sound strange to any of you? Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 Sounds logical to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 can you send me a copy of that magazine please. that might help me to convince the missus that it is perfectly normal and natural to find me a proper mia noi, which to have, i think, is obligatory for my status and age, and for further social and cultural advancement. and of course of further importance - it will make life easier for the missus as well - less work, somebody else to command. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 But Fly, you wouldn't have a mia noi. Your first one would be a nun. So you would be left with 1+1 = 1 I do find that story weird also, maybe she wants to get away from husband, either religious reasons or maybe just away! Would guess she is a nun for 2 months, and gets away Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coss Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 "This sounds strange to the people like me who has time in the West more than in Thailand, does it sound strange to any of you?" Doesn't sound strange for this to happen in Thailand, to me anyway. and the bit about "She also said that many women due to hormones change and so on get tired of being a wife and do want to retire." is universal. Seems to happen to women in the west all the time. But then the husband has to live with it. No choice. I've always maintained that Thailand is a far more cultured land, it's only the rough and ready adaption to western ideas that has caused some to view Thais as somewhat lagging in civilized ways. For me the Thai (old Thai) ways are by far and away more civil and elegant than anything the west has come up with. Cheers Coss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 22, 2004 Report Share Posted September 22, 2004 I understand that this happens sometimes in Japan where the wife seeks a girlfriend for the husband. I met a guy in this situation in Japan once. While this seems strange to us in the West, I think it arises because of these differences: the woman's benefit in marriage comes largely from the social status of being a wife, rather than in the West, from the wife's being a kind of permanent lover. the woman's benefit in marriage is likely not to be threatened by the husband's having a mistress. It seems to be part of the social contract that the husband supports the wife. In some of the large corporations a man who divorces his wife will lose his job. So, in some societies where status, role and feelings are separated more than currently in the West, it may become more acceptable to have multiple relationships without threatening everyone's investment. Khun Pad Thai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted September 23, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 [color:"red"] can you send me a copy of that magazine please. that might help me to convince the missus that it is perfectly normal and natural to find me a proper mia noi, which to have, i think, is obligatory for my status and age, and for further social and cultural advancement. [/color] I don't think any article will suffice for your wife at this time. However it is the magazine (sakulthai) of the 1st week of this month, you should be able to find a copy in a library, the article is "NamPung Paa". Please be reminded, not a "mia noi" in this case. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 much obliged. i will try to reason that due to age factor i am not really looking for a new wife, and put importance on the cultural factor that not just new wifes appear to be found that way but concubines as well. i think i start getting reeeaaal deep now into thai culture... :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 flyonzewall said:much obliged. i will try to reason that due to age factor i am not really looking for a new wife, and put importance on the cultural factor that not just new wifes appear to be found that way but concubines as well. i think i start getting reeeaaal deep now into thai culture... :: You are in for a big time slap Fly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grabii Posted September 23, 2004 Report Share Posted September 23, 2004 jasmine, This sounds to me like good justification for a middle-aged man to marry a woman many years his junior, and helps to explain what seems to be the norm. In this case, the marital situation is outside the norm and I think that the wife is being very considerate of her husband. Grabii jasmine said:Reference: Sakul Thai Magazine of the month August 2004. A wife of 60 years of age wrote to a column similar to ?Ann Landers? saying that she had been married for 24 years to a man who is 8 years younger. They have had successful business, the husband is faithful and a very good father and husband. The problem is that she wants to retire from work and being a wife in order to enter a nun-hood. However, she feels that her husband needs a woman who can be a sexual partner and takes care of other needs so she asked the columnist to advertise for a wife in the age between 30-45. The husband wants her to find a woman for him. The columnist replies that, it is not like ?old Thailand?, which a wife can look for the concubines for the husband. She suggested that the wife practiced ?Metta? which can mean kindness and understanding and to bind her time until all obligations are complete. The columnist also states that the idea of getting a woman for men should be re-evaluated because it is no longer right to just using another woman. I am aware that in the ?old Thailand? many wives did this, some willingly, some were forced to. I told my mother about it and she said that a neighbor (a few house down the road) did just that and everyone is happy, they hired a very nice Isaan woman of the 38 yrs. old. She also said that many women due to hormones change and so on get tired of being a wife and do want to retire. (now I understand this) This sounds strange to the people like me who has time in the West more than in Thailand, does it sound strange to any of you? Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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