Lusty Posted October 13, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2004 Ah but you have to make allowances in OH's case as he's a dirty slapper! :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 jasmine said: [color:"red"] I find not allowing this crap from the start works best, maybe drop a few flight schedules around, and a few pics of other women...be strong! [/color] I agree with you about not allowing such sulking behaviour, however, disagree with you strongly about the bullshit on other women, sorry Why is it that other women needs to be involved in a relationship, if Hubby does such thing, his bags will be packed by me personally. Do you think living with a man who every drop of a hat brings up other women? Very sad indeed. :( Jasmine Jasmine Honey, I have warned you about taking me to seirously before! Now if you want me to continue with you, you will lighten up right this instant or I will leave you for another with a better sense of humor! Kow Jai Mai? Joking Hioney, you know I could never leave you! If you drove me any crazier, you'd be from Si Saket... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 Zaad said:I used to receive the silent treatment as well but things have changed. She finally realized that communication is the only way to resolve issues rather than prolonging its duration by putting her volume on zero. As Soongmak said..sometimes one needs to disagree, no problem. What matters is that a case should be discussed and closed and not put away in a drawer. Eventually the drawer will be opened again and again and that's frustrating for both. Very sound advice, I have come to the communication solution also. But the drawer is hard to avoid sometimes, if the frustrations is about stuff outside your control. Like family issues with parents etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 Only time my Mrs is silent is when shes asleep, when shes mad at me the neighbours cant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 I found the technique you mentioned to be quite effective as well (well close to it anyway), in fact it helped open up some issues that obviously had been bothering my TG (an ex-MP girl) recently? I had spent a good few days with her quite recently and noticed difference in her behavior. Some of the quirks were probably related to PMS (as I found out the hard way towards the end of my visit), but the others are/were issues that had been eating away for at least a couple of months it seems. She?d pull the old cold shoulder routine, not really severe stuff but a bit irritating none-the-less. I?d asked her if something was bothering her and get the old ?okay, okay? or ?Mai pen rai?. I?d give a quick look in her direction to check on her mood only to receiver a very abrupt ?a rai?? Then I started getting looks from her as well, catching the odd stare in my periphery and when I asked ?a rai!?? I simply received a ?mai mii a rai? with averted eyes. This went on all trip, rarely in public thankfully, but as soon as we hit the hotel. I confronted her in private on more than one occasion but always gave her a way out if things got too emotional, I just wanted to know what was going on & wasn?t trying to push her into the corner. Well finally she opened up after a night out. I don?t remember what I said exactly to start things off, but having had a decent amount of ?Truth Serum? that evening probably disabled my ?think before speaking? safety valve. Whatever it was caused her just let go, for a couple of hours it seemed. Her concerns were my past history (Butterfly came up many times), primarily in her old work place (an MP), and my current group of lady friends which consists of several Ago go girls I?ve known for like a decade? Many of which I hooked up with years & years ago. Apparently I owe this butterfly talk to my own actions, something I can live with, but a lot of this crap came from a few girls she still keeps in contact with from her old MP ? I hooked up with a number of them over the years as well, but long before this TG started working there, I didn?t realize it would come back to haunt me! Anyhow, she put a lot out on the table & questioned my honesty, integrity, etc. Kind of reminded me of what a lot of us here on the MB say about these girls! I did my best to stress my feelings & overall integrity; initially she blew it all off and turned her back to me. At that point I just shrugged it off and attempted to hit the sack saying something like ?ahh, forget it?. That comment was met with an ?a rai?? in a substantially more civil tone. Instead of telling her to piss off, I took the opportunity she gave and decided to talk it out & really try to work things through (she is in fact worth the effort, in my eyes anyway). Without getting into the details, things did get worked out. The next morning she was back to her old self & a joy to be around. She mentioned some of what we talked about but really just went on as normal without really dwelling on the past? Almost seemed like a reset of sorts I sincerely hope this put her mind at rest on a few issues but who can say for sure. Keeping things pent up inside, arrrgh!!!! I love Asian women but really could do with out this particular trait that many, if not all of the ones I?ve date (and married) seem to share. I guess it?s a cultural thing to some degree, something I accept but still don?t care for. It was nice to see this TG express herself before hitting critical mass & having a full blown melt down. Opening that door and giving her the chance to vent without retributions (something I fear she may have been subject to in the past) seems to work IMHO Nakbin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zaad Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 LP, "Only time my Mrs is silent is when shes asleep" I'd cut a finger off just to hear (and see ) her reaction on this. CBK, I must confess though that the drawer is emptier than ever but still has some sensitive issues in them. And I doubt I'll ever see the bottom of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 The other way round here. When she gets upset, she also gets very loud..... And that upstets me... Just happened this morning, no one got killed, word fight lasted 30 minutes, makes me really tired.... She went off to see a friend after giving some kisses, but good she gets out of the house for an hour of two... :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 [color:"red"] have warned you about taking me to seirously before! Now if you want me to continue with you, you will lighten up right this instant or I will leave you for another with a better sense of humor! Kow Jai Mai? [/color] Boo hoo, sob sob, OH what am I going to do if you leave?? :: OK, I will get drunk and get a shot of "sense of humor" shot!!! :: OH, really, were you kidding about using other women as leverage? There will be some women who can feel relieve that happens, you know, whether the man is you or any. A good relationship (I am trying to say) can be worked out when the couple knows what issues are and work within the parameters, bringing in other people can only hurt and hurt, do you understand? Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted October 14, 2004 Report Share Posted October 14, 2004 [color:"red"]Just happened this morning, no one got killed, word fight lasted 30 minutes, makes me really tired.... She went off to see a friend after giving some kisses, but good she gets out of the house for an hour of two... [/color] Have you been talking to my Hubby lately? He does say I get loud and he would just pout, I am the one who gets "silence treatment" Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted October 15, 2004 Report Share Posted October 15, 2004 bringing in other people can only hurt and hurt, do you understand? ------------------------ Exactly, Jasmine. It's just that so many guys are mating with women, as if it was a dual belonging to what is commonly called war of sexes, so whatever you get from and get off from, reflects a battle where somehow there's a winner ("gotcha!") and a loser ("bitch!...Jerk!") . IMO, much preferrable to go into it as an individual and not buy all this crap about men from mars and women from venus, war of sex, etc... it's just to sell books and newspapers..... I think OH is finally realizing the relaxed, "happy, not angry, white man" attitude pays better dividends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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