jasmine Posted October 23, 2004 Report Share Posted October 23, 2004 [color:"red"] The deadline is approaching and she says that reluctantly she will go back to dancing. She is afraid to go to school and a straight job is too "inflexible".... [/color] This is the long-term problem that Thailand is facing with BG/sex workers, also with people who quit school early in life. To re-educate is to give them more options to work, however, schooling is the one of the hardest things for some of these people. I wish you luck, if you are successful in re-educate this person, you have done great favor, not only for her, but also for the country and society. I have read so many articles saying that the Thais who quit school early should just return to schools. It is easy for them to say but where is the support system? OK then if there is money, the motivation is harder to get than finding the support system, many Thais I met would not do it even if the education is for free! Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted October 23, 2004 Report Share Posted October 23, 2004 "...many Thais I met would not do it even if the education is for free! ..." Jasmine, This is sort of the delema we face in trying to get a partner/BG we love/care about to change her life. Despite all the claims that they hate the business, want to change their lives, want our help etc...etc...we make it so easy for them, pay the school, give them money for their families money to live on etc, and yet, most (or at least the one here, and in my case) won't take it, preferring to fuck strangers for less money then we offer, rather than wake up and go to school or a straight job...so even with a free education, and a full support system in place, they won't take it...it is maddening! :banghead: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 Dude your in way over your head. I think your intentions are good but you really don't have the resources to make you venture successful. She is 19 and your . . .? Your from what I remember married so there is no true committment from you in any way shape or form. There really is no foundation of trust or support from you, your not the guy she can truly believe in. The fact that your a married man that seeks the comfort of BG's already prevents a certain level of trust from existing. You can't marry her, you can't be her boyfriend. Your just a customer she really likes. What you need to be is a serious sponsor that will help her develop and implement goals and be willing to invest in her to fulfill these goals. That means you have to be ready for minor and major setbacks. None of the "if you fuck up once the deal is over" nonsense. You want to help then you have to start with small steps. Simply saying "go back to school and get an education" is not realistic. You have to start her off with a course or two in something she is interested in so she can adapt and get back into study mode. If she is into business then help her develop a business and be prepared financially and mentally for failure.. Start her off small so she can have small successes and see the benefits of her efforts. Artificial deadlines are silly because they don't work. You can't say you have 2 months to do this or else but you also have to be firm when you expect her to complete a task. Wean her off of the bar, maybe you tell her she can only visit the bars when she is in your company. Allow her to keep her firends but start small by reducing the number of times she is physically in the bar environment. Do your social activities with her center around the bar life? Do you take her to places that have normal entertainment? If all you do is hang in P4P type environments with her then you need to change that. What was her motivation for entering the bar to begin with? Can you counter that motive? How are you going to guarantee her finances? What incentive are you offering her to leave the bar and her independence in making her own money? Simply paying her rent and giving her pocket money is not enough. Can you even afford to invest in this girl on both a financial and committment to ensure she has a better life level? That is the question you need to ask yourself. If you can't then continue to be a good customer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 I am going to disagree a little with the thread, I think a lot of the girrls do think seriously about what is best for them, and against our wishes, they decide it is better money, more fun, and potential of hitting the jackpot is higher if they keep working. Problem as many have said, is they never "Know" if they have hit the jackpot or right guy or not! Therefor they choose to stay working. DOG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 ND, Exactly my point, they end up making the wrong decision. It is sort of like a gambler, the type of guy who says "if I hit one big score, I'll quit..." but no score is big enough, and he keeps getting more and more wrapped up in the process, making the wrong decision not to quit...Same with a lot of these girls I've known over the years, have many options, some even like the guy, or "love him," (in BG terms), but want to hold out for something better...just like the gamblers, most will lose out...I have listened to many BGs cry about a lost opportunity, a guy who got fed up and moved on...I always ask them why they didn't grab him when they had the chance, and the answer is almost always "...I no shoe-a then, now I shoe-a..." they love the drama, and love to create it...but then I know many western women who fuck up just as bad... While we are on the subject here, what about us idiot punters who fall for these girls, but stick around despite all the trouble signs? equally as baffling... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 Nervous_Dog said:I am going to disagree a little with the thread, I think a lot of the girrls do think seriously about what is best for them, and against our wishes, they decide it is better money, more fun, and potential of hitting the jackpot is higher if they keep working. Problem as many have said, is they never "Know" if they have hit the jackpot or right guy or not! Therefor they choose to stay working. DOG I agree with the sentiment that they do think about what is best for them but I disagree with you concept that they are looking for a bigger jackpot by cintinuing to work. What many here fgail to realize is that your dealing with YOUNG women who have very little experiences in life outside of their families, working menial jobs and the P4P world. Many don't comprehend the value of education because they were never exposed or in an environmnet where the benefits of education were realized. Also look at who is promising them love, committment and financial support. . .men who spend their time in bars looking to pay women to fuck. Guys spend a couple of weeks with a chick and they promise them the world, only never to deliver. Guys take a chick out and 6months later she is working again. Probably over half of the customers are married men(real trustworthy huh?). These girls see this stuff of pipe dreams and broken promises daily. Why should they trust someone completely and abandon the one consistent constant in their life. . if I go to the bar a man will pay me money to fuck him. That is their world and until you can consistently and unwaveringly show them a better one then don't expect miracles. I think the problem is truly that the farang customer/lover/sponsor has totally unrealistic expectations, a poor strategy and overestimates his resources to pull a girl away from the bar and help her to develop a new life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 Zaad said:"...2 things OH.. Firstly, she doesn't need to quit bar. What I'm saying is that she should stop working there since she's studying and getting prepared for her new job. But there's nothing wrong with going there to see and talk to her friends..." The bar is full of bad influences, and possibly customers who might interfere with her studies, so best to limit exposure to it. I told SSG I would help her, because she wanted to quit the bar, or so she told me. "...If her reason for returning is 'easy' money only then convince her the new job will give her much more benefits..." You try convincing one of them of this, many are chasing that big score, which never comes. Hard to logic with many women, Thai or otherwise... "...secondly, if I ever intend to help a girl the way you did I would regard the failure to get her a respectable job as a personal failure..." No, the failure was on her in my case, not sure about original poster...She failed to reason, or accept what could be, preferring the fun and good times the bar offered, and holding out for a better deal... "...If there's ever going to be another girl in a similar situation I wouldn't show her the door that's why you shouldn't cut them loose that easily..." She showed me the door, after hurting me greatly, and pissing me off...it was very easy for her to cut me loose, high season, her #1 customer is comming back the same time I am. Had this schedule conflict not arose, who knows, so best it ends now, painful as it is... "...The prejudice that one can't take the bar out of a bg might be true for many but please don't use that as an 'excuse' for all..." I agree 100% there are no absolutes here, just going on what I have seen and experienced... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OCgringo Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 Ok when you were 19 years old did you really know what you wanted to do ? and I assume most of us went to school till they were 18 or so. a BG looks at her options, going to school might sound nice but its daily work with the prize far away. working bar is not bad work once they get thru the first few months , and they have more baht them most of the working office girls. At 19 do you really think they look down the road to what they will be doing when they are 30-40 years old ? They take the easy way out , or at least to them what looks easy that day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 SSG is 27. IMO ruined by the business, and all it's bad influences, she had "real jobs" up until a few years ago... Yes, I was very focused and responsible at age 19, far more than most my age...now of course, I am making up for it by being irresponsible...I did plan ahead, and decided I didn't want to be a loser like so many around me. "...working bar is not bad work once they get thru the first few months , and they have more baht them most of the working office girls..." The average BG is usually broke...sends it home to all the relatives sponging off her..., or else just doesn't make very much, with salary cuts etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosyourdaddy Posted October 24, 2004 Report Share Posted October 24, 2004 I believe most BGs enter the scene because they want to take the easy money road. This will not change until something forces it to change. ie She is too old, married, gets bored, parents get sick etc. I am presuming she has less than M6 education so a job will be much less pay than she is used to and going back to school as an adult is difficult enough, especially since the aduld m6 exam is really not the same as regular school. A trade might be good, or set up her own business. Best of luck. But if she does not want to take you up on your offer, stop wasting your time with her. I am sure there are other fish in the sea that would like some free food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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