Central Scrutinizer Posted June 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 ND, You mean question #6? I purposely left that to have multiple answers possible, as some may have more than just one/multiple reasons they are cheating on their wife, think it's no one else's business, and maybe think it is a man's perogative as well. I felt there could be some who'd like a less restrictive answer possible with more choices. Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 I thought you had, I think however you may want to point that out in the opening, obviosly very few realized that if you look at the responces so far (my guess anyway) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 Cent, you are quite correct that my post was not really directed at 'cheating' on your wife, but more of a reminder that there are many positions on the word 'marriage'. Does a man who legally has 4 wives 'cheat' when he has sex with different ones? How can you 'cheat' if you don't agree with the rules, and especially if both parties do not agree....... eg... an open marriage? If you have sex with a woman that is married, are you 'cheating'.? or only her? As Bill Clinton said, "I did not have sex with that woman." I know many that believe that noncoital sex is not sex. And what if she is a prostitute.? Does the concept that the thought is equal to the deed, as preached in Christianity, mean you are considered to have 'cheated' if you are married and think about how great it would be to screw your favourite Diva, Pop Star, neighbour's daughter, or front desk clerk? The entire concept of 'cheating' reduces the concept of marriage to it's most base nature. A contract of ownership, sanctioned by religious powers to control the production of offspring and future parishioners and supporters. The state issues 'licences' for similar purposes. With the acceptance in most of the western world of common law marriages, the entire concept blurrs. What is marriage? Must it be 'legal' or 'sanctioned' ? SO, in the end I believe that 'marriage', and what constitutes 'cheating' is between the people involved and their conscience. But unlike others I will not say others are wrong if they believe differently. As to the % of people who 'cheat', I recall a poll in the US a few years ago who put the totals about 70% if I recall. I'll try to find it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 1, 2005 Report Share Posted June 1, 2005 obviously there are 100s of polls, but this maybe typical Cheating: Who's Done It All 16% Men 21 Women 11 No children under 18 19 Dissatisfied w/ sex life 34 Single men 30+ 42 ...................................................... Those who lie about cheating on a poll........ 50% Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted June 2, 2005 Report Share Posted June 2, 2005 cent Did you read my post, I said its nobodys business, after contemplation I conclude I dont actually care (and what does it matter) what ranger does or skibum and I'm 'sincerley' sorry I offended anyone, it was never my intention to. (my ears are on fire!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbaron Posted June 2, 2005 Report Share Posted June 2, 2005 LHL, In all your examples of polygamy, the wife/wives knew what was going on... therefore it wasn't cheating. Define cheating? Sure- having sexual relations with someone who isn't your significant other without their knowledge nor consent. If wifey knows about it and is fine with it for whatever reason, I wouldn't call it cheating. Make sense? As in sports the word implies breaking the rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted June 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2005 lazyphil said:cent Did you read my post, I said its nobodys business, after contemplation I conclude I dont actually care (and what does it matter) what ranger does or skibum and I'm 'sincerley' sorry I offended anyone, it was never my intention to. (my ears are on fire!) Phil, Well, you certainly didn't insult me and I didn't take your post that way at all as insulting to anyone. Yes, I read your post, and I also agree it is really no one else's business. It's a personal thing between husband and wife. My response was more in your comment on Thai3's ability to comment on the subject. I agree, he or anyone can. But I do disagree with the way he did this, and the way he has done similar things before. I saw it as a morality play and semi-veiled personal attack on those who do 'cheat' on their wives and an inappropriate way to do this and to express his opinions. If these are his thoughts and opinions on the subject there is nothing keeping him from starting a thread on the subject in the appropriate forum where we can all have an intelligent and spirited discussion on the subject at hand, without the finger-pointing and personal jabs, which were based on nothing more than conjecture and a complete lack of the facts of the people involved and their 'private' relationship and the poster's situation. I did notice, as you probably did as well, that once he found out the man's wife was ill and he no longer could 'get any' at home that he thought this was a perfectly acceptable reason to have sex outside of marriage. Others might still disagree with this as well, but the real point is it is, in my eyes, and others as well I see through other posts on the board, inappropriate in the way it was done, the forum it was done in, and the fact that he had no real information on the parties involved except the fact he noticed at some point the member was/is married. Nothing more than a cheap dirty shot from my POV, which may well be contrary to others POV's. I hope you didn't see my post as an 'attack' on you. It wasn't, and wasn't meant to be. I really am curious to hear what others think on this. This is why I did start the poll in relationships on the subject, and really should have been the way Thai3 did this as well. He should have started a Thread on cheating husbands and set forth his opinions on the subject, without getting personal and fingering a member here. A simple "I've noticed over the years there are many married members here who play around on their wives. I think that is wrong, and here is why. Blah blah blah, all comments are welcome." According to the stats in the poll so far 66% of the respondents who stated they were married do have sex outside of their marriage. I find that number high, but seeing where this is being done as a poll and the nature of the board in some respects I am not surprised really. I see this figure within my own group of friends as well, the ones living in the LOS especially, where the temptation, availability, and ability to do so fairly easily and inexpensively is very hard to resist for some, especially those who see no reason to resist, or have their own reasoning and rationalities to do so. It's easy to moralize and condemn others until you stand in their shoes really and live in their skin. I am interested in the subject matter, have opinions and even experiences to share on the subject, but I find the way this was done by Mr. 3 objectionable and un-necessary, especially in a forum about Nightlife and sanuk by men in the LOS who are there specifically to fuck various women. The subject matter in the forum is a known quantity. If someone finds it offensive why even read about it? There are many other forums here to read and contribute to, and more friendly and sanuk ways to post ones opinions on certain subjects one may want to express themselves on. I've heard the term 'netiquette' over the years. I think this post falls under that term, and shows a lack thereof. Hey, everyone has a bad day; some post while intoxicated and later say, "Shit, wish I hadn't done that.", others post when in a bad mood, or when they are in an argumentative frame of mind. All understandable, all taken into consideration by most, all usually brushed-off and forgotten and forgiven after a bit. It's when you become a "serial pest" to quote Mr. Jack Frist I believe is the name of the member (something like that anyway), that others start to say, 'What the hell is this guy's problem' and get pissed at the intrusions and disruptions in the threads they are trying to enjoy. Nothing about you here LP, really. Not starting an LP/Cent argument here. I was just asking what your opinions on this were and I was curious as to your perceptions and beliefs on the subject, as you stated in your post that you thought it okay the way Thai3 did this. JMHO. Yours may differ. Cent p.s. Go see the ear doctor. You may have an ear infection and need some drops if they are burning. p.p.s. I think the phrase that comes to my mind on the way Peter has done this a few times over the past year or so is "obnoxious and uncalled for." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF16 Posted June 2, 2005 Report Share Posted June 2, 2005 Am married, does not cheat, does not want to be cheated on, and if someone by cheating is hurting thier spouse I think it's fair to comment on it. If both parties in the relationship where one or both are having sex outside of the marriage are happy with the arangement there is no problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lazyphil Posted June 2, 2005 Report Share Posted June 2, 2005 Well, my Grandfather had an affair with an Australian nurse overseas duiring the war, my grandmother found out when he returned and two days later commited suicide, she must have been worried sick about him when he was doing his bit in North Africa, but little did she know what he was doing also. I suppose he didn't know if this nurse was the last woman he was going to bed in all the madness down there with Monty?....my mum was 7 or there abouts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted June 2, 2005 Report Share Posted June 2, 2005 <<If wifey knows about it and is fine with it for whatever reason, I wouldn't call it cheating. Make sense? >> Ahhh - while I agree with your definition, what happens in Thailand, where many of my Thai male friends are told "you can do it, but I don't want to know you are doing it" DOG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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