Central Scrutinizer Posted June 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 Nervous_Dog said:<<If wifey knows about it and is fine with it for whatever reason, I wouldn't call it cheating. Make sense? >> Ahhh - while I agree with your definition, what happens in Thailand, where many of my Thai male friends are told "you can do it, but I don't want to know you are doing it" DOG Dog, Yes, the "knowing blind eye". This isn't just a Thai thing though, it happens the world over. Many women choose to ignore their partner's infidelities to keep the family together, to keep the peace, especially when the husband is a good provider, is a good father and husband otherwise, and sometimes because the wife just doesn't want to meet the sexual demands, for whatever reasons, the husband would otherwise place upon them. They aren't as interested in the sex, for many reasons I feel. This was especially true in the past I think. A lot of that may very well have been because the man in the past controlled the financial strings in most relationships/marriages, and it would be very harmful and destructive to the family, and the woman, if she complained and pressed for a divorce. I think religion also played a larger role in this in the past as well. Divorce was seen as wrong, divorced women seen as failures and looked down upon and seen as somehow tainted, and a divorce was much harder to get even back in those days. In the old patriarchial societies of the past in the west the woman was at a distinct disadvantage. No way to work and get a job and still care for the kids in many instances if she kicked out the family breadwinner for his indiscretions. There wasn't much in the way of "child-support" payments and alimony back then, nor the infrastructure and laws that would force a man to take care of his kids and ex-wife if he decided not to do so. This also was a problem in that most of the judicial system and police forces were all male, and the women had a hard time of gaining what was due to support the children in the past, as well as wife-battering being seen as a 'private matter' as well back then, and some men are not adverse to slapping or beating a woman who would complain about their infidelities. I've seen this here in Thailand, and think in these matters the Thais are about 30 years behind the west in these matters. (Some may say "good", but in a lot of cases here I would say "bad".) This fact had a lot to do with the womens sufferage movement, and eventually the later womens lib movement, among other factors as well. Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugh_Hoy Posted June 3, 2005 Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 Redbaron said:<<If wifey knows about it and is fine with it for whatever reason, I wouldn't call it cheating. Make sense? >> Ahhh - while I agree with your definition, what happens in Thailand, where many of my Thai male friends are told "you can do it, but I don't want to know you are doing it" In other words... do it discreetly. ST hotel etc, nobody hears about it, wife doesn't lose face. Simple <snipped> Here's a link to a report/study done relating to Thai perspectives. It's based individual interviews/focus group discussions. http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/Organizations/healthnet/HIV/docs/misc/thaisex02.html Hugh (mak) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted June 3, 2005 Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 Good read. The conclusion, Thai's are very pragmatic, as is my experience with my own wife: Clearly, married women dislike all forms of male infidelity, but the social construction of male sexuality in Thailand conditions the degree to which women and men view various forms of male extramarital relations as threats to their marriages. Occasional commercial sex patronage was generally not seen as an act of marital betrayal by either the men or the women, though many of the women were concerned by the threats posed by AIDS and other STDs. Both men and women also noted that excessive commercial sex patronage could result in financial hardships and marital conflict for the man's family. These qualifications are essentially pragmatic concerns rather than moralistic or ethical ones. This is in sharp contrary to prevailing views in most Western societies, where commercial sex patronage by a husband is likely to viewed as a serious breach of marital trust and could be potentially devastating to couples. I think that the last two sentences describe the basic argument in this thread as well. Cheers, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted June 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 CSteve, Well, I had to clarify it better, as I saw that Phil took this in a tone of delivery that was not present when I wrote the post. I wrote it in a wondering, questioning way as to how he could think Thai3's way of posting his opinion was a good one and good way to do this. I wanted to see his side as to why he thought this. I wasn't berating him, and if you notice there were appropriate emoticons placed in the post, and I ended it on a joking tone as well. Sometimes the written word is easy to misconsture the tone behind it. It is sometimes what causes problems on message boards like this. One person may read a post and see it is written in a sarcastic and teasing way, and another can read it and see it as a flame, or an attack. Smilies do help show what tone someone may be writing in. They do help at times, but then sometimes your fucking post looks like it was written either by a 3rd grader, or for a 3rd grader! :: :: Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted June 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 SD, "various farms of male extramarital relations" They have farms for this? What'll they think of next?!! :: :: Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted June 3, 2005 Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 LOL, I just edited that line. You caught me! Cheers, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted June 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 SD, I like the new avatar! Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranger Posted June 3, 2005 Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 It's interesting to see that 7% think that it's other people's business if someone is cheating on their wife. In my opinion this is root of most evil we see on the planet today. If everyone just let other people take their own decisions and live with the results it would probably be a much better world. ALHOLK I'm thinking that 7% is the result of someone using mutliple screen names and voting more than once ::. Ranger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HIGH_THAIED Posted June 4, 2005 Report Share Posted June 4, 2005 Hi, It is a difficult subject. Some here have relationships with wife, where they accept. Others...... it would destroy the relationship. I think it's only right and wrong, depending on agreement with your partner. If you are in a relationship, then can only work, either way, if honest. If you are not honest with your partner, then what is the point? Others might be able to see it, but I cannot. I was married before for 20 years to a local Hawaiian girl. I never thought to be unfaithful to her. I didn't need to be. I guess I look at it this way.........If I'm with someone, then is important to be honest and real to them. If I cannot, then what is the point? But that is just me. I love my tirak. It comes down to do I want to be single, or do I want something more. What is more? We all know what that is. But in real, she gives me her. Her very essence of her whole being. So can I cheat on her? There is no way on earth. It would kill her, and me too. Being faithfull to each other, has never been an issue. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALHOLK Posted June 4, 2005 Report Share Posted June 4, 2005 Hi! You're probably right. This never occured to me as I'm not a devious bastard. regards ALHOLK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.