Torneyboy Posted October 1, 2005 Report Share Posted October 1, 2005 I Like Your Thinking... A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.. Posted October 1, 2005 Report Share Posted October 1, 2005 I LOVE Little Johnny jokes! Here are a few: ++++++ One day Little Johnny's mom was cleaning his room. In the closet, she found a bondage S&M magazine. This was *highly* upsetting to her. She hid the magazine until his father got home. When Little Johnny's father walked in the door, she irately handed the magazine to him, and said, "THIS is what I found in "your" son's closet." He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. Several minutes passed, then she finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Little Johnny's dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him." +++++++++ Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this. Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says. "Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher. "Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat in the front yard. The neighbors' Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went "ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!", and before he could say "FUCK OFF!", the dog ate him!" ++++++ Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face. "Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, Mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother. A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?" ++++++++++ Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said 6. "But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?' "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!" ++++++++++ Cheers, SD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted October 1, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbaron Posted October 1, 2005 Report Share Posted October 1, 2005 Little Johnny... one of the greats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Betong Posted October 2, 2005 Report Share Posted October 2, 2005 Hi Suadum, >>> I LOVE Little Johnny jokes! Here are a few more you may like? http://www.anetizer.com/index.php?joke=Johnny Cheers, John_Betong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted October 3, 2005 Report Share Posted October 3, 2005 Little Johnny is bored one Saturday, so he says to his dad, "Dad, I'm bored. What is there to do?" His dad decides to have a little fun with Johnny, so he gives him four quarters, and says, "Why don't you go to the drug store and get me somewhat has what?" Baffled but excited, Little Johnny scampers down the street to the drug store. He asks the druggist for some "what's what," and at first the druggist is confused, until he guesses that this kid has been sent out on a wild goose chase. He replies, "We don't have any, but that building over there might." The druggist points towards a whorehouse. Little Johnny, again excited, runs over to the whorehouse. He knocks on the door, and a naked women answers. He says, "I need some...hey, what's that?" pointing to her privates. "What's what?" she replies. Satisfied, Little Johnny says, "I'll take a dollar's worth!" BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted October 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2005 One dollar...thats some cheap pussy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted October 6, 2005 Report Share Posted October 6, 2005 Not a Little Johnny joke but it made me laugh. Little Sally is at pre-school and comes into the classroom after lunch break. Teacher: "Sally, what did you do at lunch time" Sally: "I played in the sandpit" Teacher: "I tell you what, if you can spell 'sand' I'll give you a cookie" Sally: "S..A..N.....D" A few minutes later little Billycomes into the classroom. Teacher: "Billy, what did you do at lunch time" Billy: "I played in the sandpit with Sally" Teacher: "I tell you what, if you can spell 'sand' I'll give you a cookie" Billy: "S..A....N.....D" A few minutes later little Jimmy comes into the classroom with tears streaming down his face. Teacher: "Jimmy, what did you do at lunch time" Jimmy: "I wanted to play in the sandpit with Sally and Billy but they wouldn't let me and threw stones at me" Teacher: "That's terrible Jimmy, that's discrimination. I tell you what, if you can spell 'discrimination' I'll give you a cookie". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted October 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2005 Ha ha ..thought the punch line was going to be else Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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