Old Hippie Posted October 26, 2001 Report Share Posted October 26, 2001 To clarify a point, I cannot speak about all Thai women, I can only refer to the limited experience I have with a few I met on BKK Chat. As I poninted out, it was most, not all. Basically, I use BKK Chat and other chat lines for fun, not with the intention of meeting someone,(but if it works out, what the hell?), after all, for all I know, I could be talking to some fat loser in Clevland instead of "Hot Thai Girl-18!! But for the most part, I do tend to think a lot of women, regardless of where they are from, want something out of a guy, besides "true love," (one could argue we want something from them...but that doesn't cost 'em a dime...) we have all heard the phrase "...no money no honey..." The phrase probably came from a guy who had experiences similar to ours. [ October 26, 2001: Message edited by: Old hippie ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 26, 2001 Report Share Posted October 26, 2001 Originally posted by Chanchao: "..NEVER EVER let on that you're even remotely interested or even know where to find one. The whole thing repulses you. " My advice is tell her the truth. It's the best policy. Good girls love honesty in a guy and they will admire you if you appear to be one. If you wanna get serious with a good Thai girl (and I suppose the clever one) please don't lie. She'll know !! "Try to plan a trip with her outside Bangkok. Even though Bangkok is as big a city as they get, it's remarkable how often you run into people you know especially at popular restaurants, malls and night spots. This may (or may not) make her feel shy if she's seen with you at this pre-relationship stage. Going out of town may take a load off her shoulders, and may make spending nights together a lot more likely. Some girls of course don't mind or don't care and will go for it at the first opportunity. Ask her if she prefers the beach or the mountains." If she goes with you overnight outside Bangkok, she's not a "good" Thai girl - in a Thai sense of the words any way. If your meaning of "a good Thai girl" is her not being a bargirl but sleeping around, so expect her to quickly accept your invitation of spending time outside Bangkok!! "Finally, if she touches you, in ANY way, as much as an accidental hand on your knee or shoulder for half a second, it means she's game for more physical activity. (Perhaps not right away, but you have to find a good environment " Not nescessarily ! I had many Thai girlfriends in the past. Some are like what you said but some not. I would say 50-50. So be careful when you're going to pursue a little physical activity Good luck, Sabaidee. [ October 26, 2001: Message edited by: Sabaidee ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chanchao Posted October 26, 2001 Report Share Posted October 26, 2001 quote: Originally posted by Sabaidee: If she goes with you overnight outside Bangkok, she's not a "good" Thai girl - in a Thai sense of the words any way. If your meaning of "a good Thai girl" is her not being a bargirl but sleeping around, so expect her to quickly accept your invitation of spending time outside Bangkok!! Well... on occaision I've expressed some frustration along the lines of: "The bad girls are too bad, the good girls are too good." Very hard to find some good middle ground. But this is squarely what I've always been aiming for. And it seems the situation is improving, especially in urban areas. I take it that when someone says they're looking for a 'good girl' then that means your typical-girl-next-door, not a Buddhust nun. Frankly if a girl is 20-something and a virgin and proud of it, then chances are she's going to remain that way until you marry her (or make *serious* commitments). Not my cup of tea. Cheers, Chanchao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranma500 Posted October 28, 2001 Report Share Posted October 28, 2001 I agree that it is best to deny ever having sex with a bar-girl / massage parlour visit etc. But... My experience is that maybe more than with farang women, there is an acceptance of this behaviour IF (and this is a very big IF) they do not know about it!!! Many girls I have spoken to, say that if they do not know what their husband does, then it is okay, but if they catch him, they will 'feed him to the ducks'. Remember that paying for sex is not by any means just a farang thing. A large percentage (can anyone remind me how much) of Thai men reportedly visit a brothel or similar establishment every month. Even small towns in up-country Thailand have some sort of brothel. 'Good' Thai women know these places exist, and they know that a lot of men visit them. They just don't want to have to confront the issue. (It is probably one of those 'losing' face situations) This means therefore that while girls may be curious about your past, they don't ask as many questions as maybe I would if I were them. Where they will often ask a lot of questions is about where you went today, why you were late, do you find the waitress pretty, why did you look at that girl in the street, etc. Finally, what is all this crap about Thai girls being dumb and dull as shit, or just out for money? Does anybody truly believe that they can sum up the entire female population of a country with such generalisations? And even if these generalisations were true of the majority of Thai girls, you could always find someone from the minority of girls who don't fit this description. Doesn't it depend how you meet the 'good' girls? I mean, what sort of American or English girl would frequent a chat site and start conversations with rich Arabs, if she didn't maybe have some ultimate aim? And even if you meet a girl in a non-farang environment, the fact that she chooses to talk to you or respond to you might in fact indicate that she has some interest in 'farang' men, be it financial, sexual or whatever. I have received an enormous amount of hospitality and generosity from Thai people. It is certainly true that the system of paying a bill at a restaurant, for example, is not dealt with as maybe we would in the West, where it would be shared out or dealt with equitably. It does seem to me that there is a natural tendency for the oldest or richest person to pay, and often that might be the farang. But having said that, I have also been a guest of Thai people on many occasions and offered to pay, but had my offer flatly rejected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 Look.. yes many Thai men do visit brothels.. what percentage.. well what percentage are gay.. well then the rest of them that are old enough to fuck. Would a Thai girl expect this behavior.. maybe.. Would any thai man ever admit it to his girl.. NO It has more to do with the girl losing face than anything else like loyalty or morals.. I f this concept is lost on you.. well then its lost on you.. western morals and ethics are not working here.. yes she is pissed that you fucked other girls But she would be more pissed that 1. if she was a rich (good??) girl - that you fucked below her.. in a lower social class 2. she would be pissed that you admited it Your western morals are possibly telling you that it is more wrong to lie than to do it. the morals here.. reversed.. I ts not my fault.. thats just my experience again.. if you dont like what I say well then I am proably wrong.. your right.. I just make this shit up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 quote: Originally posted by mtunley: I don't like to lie too much and I was considering telling her that I whore part time and that they don't mean anything to me etc but I think that would totatally destroy my chances. I think "mums" the word. Cheers No insults from me. I really don't understand your problem or why u are even asking for advice. Common sense tells you to not tell a woman of any nationality that you whore part time, especially if you are in some sort of courting stage with them. I really at times cannot fathom the mentality of posters on this board that think that Thai women are another species entirely. They are women who have the same feelings as any other. Bar girl or non bargirl, Asian or Western no woman wants you to share with them that you are banging other women while you are in some sort of relationship with them. Regards, JJSUSHI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 quote: Originally posted by jjsushi: No insults from me. I really don't understand your problem or why u are even asking for advice. Common sense tells you to not tell a woman of any nationality that you whore part time, especially if you are in some sort of courting stage with them. Regards, JJSUSHI Point taken but you have to admit, prostitution has been engrained into the Thai culture for hundreds/thousands of years. From what I understand, Thai men (and most asian men) go out in groups to karaokes, bars and brothels with the specific purpose of paying hookers for sex, and this is very normal for them, and perhaps abnormal if they don't visit the brothel. I don't know what western country you're from but the ones I have lived in, this behaviour is basically totally unacceptable. Thai women surely know that most Thai men visit the brothel so it's not too unbelieveable to consider being upfront with them, just like you tell a bargirl you are a butterfly so it doesn't lead to problems. I'm not talking about a wife or anything here, just a non-pro girl you meet and get along with and sleep with and have a good time. I did recieve a couple PM's too which suggested that I should be up-front with her, and that doing so has worked well for others in their relationships. But I decided against this. Nobody was implying Thai women are a different breed or species or anything, just that TIT and in different countries you have different rules and different things are considered acceptable. Common sense also tells you not to speed and crash, have sex with hookers that may have HIV, participate in dangerous sports, or any number of dangerous activities we all participate in. But look how much we do that also goes against common sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jingjoh Posted October 29, 2001 Report Share Posted October 29, 2001 You still dont get it do you, what will it take to understand the very basics of Thai culture??? its FACE, this one word rules the entire country REGARDLESS OF ANYTHING ELSE. You are thinking like a farang, stop it, you cannot interact with a Thai woman the same way you interact with a western woman. Prostitution has been around everywhere for countless years, there is no point to use this as an arguement. Thai men NEVER TELL, the never tell what they do, and in reality neither do we, unless we are inexperienced with women or just plain stupid. You tell her you are not interested in bar girls period, and you make damn sure you never put yourself in the position of being caught out. If this means using short time hotels, then thats what you do, you might have to get friendly with one of the staff in your hotel, so that you can check on whether she is asking questions or not. I dont agree with the other posters that educated girls are just as boring etc etc as the others, my experience has been the ones who have been overseas, and this means anywhere, even Singapore or malaysia, are much more interesting and a much better bet than a Thai girl who has never left the country. If she talks about sex in any way with you online you still cannot make a judgement about her, I have known quite alot of very well educated younger thai girls just like this who are the total oppositte in real life, some like to play online where they are anonymous. My first Thai gf never spoke about sex online, she was a chula graduate and managed an international branch of a Jap company. yet we were into it 4 days after I arrived, we had known each other online for 6 months. She had 3 bf's before, all thais, she had never been with a farang, whoever said if the girl knew about places like Bourbon St etc she must have had a farang bf b4 is wrong, plenty of Thai women know all the farang places and like to hang out there to watch. Besides many of these places including Bourbon St are frequented by the upper class, they like to eat there!! Basically there are always going to be different views as you can see, but the basic points are, NEVER talk about whoring, you just don't do it. Do take initiative on casual touches or advances, but dont grope her, run the back of your hand down her arm, somehting subtle yet noticeable enough to get a real reaction. Do let her take you out to eat, dance etc, let HER choose the venues, for one thing you will discover alot of places the average whoremonger never learns about, and she will feel comfortable. remember, they cannot really change, no matter what they think, it just doesnt happen, they expect you to change to suit them, you will find out very quickly whether you can handle this or not. I couldn't! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 30, 2001 Report Share Posted October 30, 2001 quote: Originally posted by jingjoh: You still dont get it do you, what will it take to understand the very basics of Thai culture??? its FACE, this one word rules the entire country REGARDLESS OF ANYTHING ELSE. I didn't ever not get it, and agree that it's best not to say anything, as I had mentioned in my previous posts. I was justifying myself to the previous poster who implied that I was an idiot for even contemplating the idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted October 30, 2001 Report Share Posted October 30, 2001 quote: Originally posted by mtunley: I was justifying myself to the previous poster who implied that I was an idiot for even contemplating the idea. Idiot is a bit too harsh. I was thinking more along the lines of addle-minded. The best advice a Thai friend(who had several mia nois) gave me about Thai women was "Never tell them exactly when and where you are going. Never tell them yes or no, always say maybe." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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