Guest Posted January 13, 2002 Report Share Posted January 13, 2002 Every so often something happens that touches you and makes you think. I've been seeing a lady from a bar in NEP for the past few weeks. It's been a really intense kind of thing, when we're together it's like we are the only 2 people in the world. (Note to fellow punter: dude, your attempts to talk to her last night while we were sitting there entangled in each others' arms were a serious breach of sanuker's etiquette, but were also kind of comical so I won't hold it against you.) Last night I told her I wouldn't be able to see her on Sunday night. To kind of let her know I'm in on the joke, I told her I understand she will go with other guys, just get money from them, they're meaningless to us. At which point she started to cry. I quickly sized up the situation, namely that she is *not* in on the joke, this is very real to her, and I was suddenly crushed that I had upset her. Sometimes it's best to remember that some of these ladies are not all that hardened, and the time they spend with a farang they actually like is an escape for them as well... When the night was over I was about to put her in a taxi and go home. But she seemed not to want to say goodbye and she also seemed kind of uncomfortable getting in the taxi by herself for some reason. So I offered to ride with her to her home before returning home myself. She was really happy about this. All the way she cuddled up with me and told me little snippets about her life and what she was feeling. "I like you." "I live near market." "I want see you again." Then a few turns off the main road: Predictably she lives in a Khlong Toei shithole, with all that entails. There were a few guys hanging around too, one of which I assume is her husband; as the taxi pulled away I saw one of them peel off from the group and walk towards where I saw her go in. It was really painful depositing her back into the reality of her Bangkok. I can't get the whole thing out of my head... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibblies Posted January 13, 2002 Report Share Posted January 13, 2002 You're just seeing life outside the few richest countries that you know, but there's a big world out there. Put it into perspective. Thailand's not that poor compared to half the countries in the world, so I'd guess her situation is much better than that of most children in Africa, for example. She lives in a country with hospitals, schools, enough food to eat. She's had some education, she's got some money, family, health. If you've got to start feeling sorry for people, she's way down the list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2002 Report Share Posted January 13, 2002 TEDBKK-- Excellent post! I'm sure most all of us have "been there before" and it does HURT. The both of you know the reality. She works at the bar, she goes with customers. You go to the bar, you pay the girls. Period. But this does not exclude the strong possibility that some intense and real feelings come into play. I've always said that the girls are people too. They are girls (or ladies) and have feelings as such. Sure, some are "hard", but not all. Some are just as sweet, loving and compassionate as you'll find anywhere. We should all be luck enough to find one in our lifetime. --UPSer PS: I was just by your "neck of the woods" yesterday while eating at TGIF's in Kirkland. [ January 13, 2002: Message edited by: UPSer ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shotover Posted January 14, 2002 Report Share Posted January 14, 2002 quote: Originally posted by TEDBKK: Last night I told her I wouldn't be able to see her on Sunday night. To kind of let her know I'm in on the joke, I told her I understand she will go with other guys, just get money from them, they're meaningless to us. At which point she started to cry. I quickly sized up the situation, namely that she is *not* in on the joke, this is very real to her, and I was suddenly crushed that I had upset her. Sometimes it's best to remember that some of these ladies are not all that hardened, and the time they spend with a farang they actually like is an escape for them as well... Ted, I said the same thing to a bargirl I had spent 2 nights with and had the same thing happen . . she got real quite, started sobbing quietly (real tears), and all I knew to do was say I'm sorry and hold her for the next hour. I've read from the experienced that Thai girls can turn the tears on in an instant and give an Oscar performance. Maybe this is what happened to me, but I don't want to take a cavalier approach to anyone's feelings. For me, I plan to be careful with both mine and others feelings while in Thailand. Shotover Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 14, 2002 Report Share Posted January 14, 2002 My thought on it is that the BG's are a lot less manipulative with the experienced guys than they are of the newbies. In other words the know they can BS the newbies, but they are less over-the-top with experienced guys, who are likely to know better--and this second group, presumably, would include Ted. Sure, most people (men and women) do what they can to get what they want. But, with the little information available, my hunch (nothing more) is that there were some genuine feelings being shared that evening. Maybe it wasn't the precursor to eternal love, but so what? Sounded like a meaningful, isolated experience, even if the whole situation from her perspective can never be fully understood. I appreciated reading the post, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 15, 2002 Report Share Posted January 15, 2002 At which point she started to cry. I quickly sized up the situation, namely that she is *not* in on the joke, this is very real to her, and I was suddenly crushed that I had upset her. _____________________________________________ Oh dear. Come in sucker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 15, 2002 Report Share Posted January 15, 2002 Ted, "I said the same thing to a bargirl I had spent 2 nights {Jesus Christ 2 nights!} with and had the same thing happen . . she got real quite, started sobbing quietly (real tears)" {Sure they were real} _____________________________________________ Oh god. And another one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted January 15, 2002 Report Share Posted January 15, 2002 Hi, Charles, there is no need for this sarcasm and making fun of other posters. Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stumpy Posted January 15, 2002 Report Share Posted January 15, 2002 Hi Ted, Nice post. Hope you do catch up with her again. I agree it's important not to stereotype. I had the pleasure of the company of a young lady who has had her fair share of publicity from this board and who's number is 33. Despite all that's been posted about her I had the opportunity to have a reasonable chat with her and came away with the impression that she a nice lady trying to do her best. Good luck, Stump_Dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shotover Posted January 15, 2002 Report Share Posted January 15, 2002 quote: Originally posted by Charles: Ted, "I said the same thing to a bargirl I had spent 2 nights {Jesus Christ 2 nights!} with and had the same thing happen . . she got real quite, started sobbing quietly (real tears)" {Sure they were real} _____________________________________________ Oh god. And another one. Just to put things in perspective,: I ended up staying 5 nights with her and saw more indications that she didn't like the work she did and had real feelings about it. When I said the tears were real, I meant 'wet'. I can't read hers or anyone else's mind. I know there is a great possibility it could be an act on her part. Keep in mind my post ended with: "Thai girls can turn the tears on in an instant and give an Oscar performance. Maybe this is what happened to me, but I don't want to take a cavalier approach to anyone's feelings. For me, I plan to be careful with both mine and others feelings while in Thailand." Shotover Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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