Guest Posted May 30, 2001 Report Share Posted May 30, 2001 Jesus, god damn, fu*k.. Sounds like things like this happens all the time. I can not help feeling sad HS, i beth that this could happend to anyone! I can really feel the frustration of HSTEACH. Well...of course this would never happend to some of the hard asses here, who seems to be able to control what ones heart is saying... Probably because it happend to them already.? I do not understand why they have to tell that to HS again, it is probably not what he want to hear right now. He was aware of the risks but decided to take a chance which i find very brave. I agree with Rictic, I am sure HS went into this relationship with the best intentions, he was suspicous at first, how could he know that it was all part of a scam. I still belive that if you are hooked you will give it a try no matter how much you have read or heard, love and reason ?. HS i hope you can get over it, must be so damn hard, try not to let the anger fuck you up. Sorry easy for me to say. I can not even picture what i would feel. Best of luck to you HS Over N'Out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 30, 2001 Report Share Posted May 30, 2001 HSTEACH - Yes, you were naive, but there for the grace of God go many of us. And, as you say, your heart won over your head. She did what most bargirls would eventually do - run back to what and who she knew the best. These are not particularly adaptive people, but they are great thespians. At least she tried to do the right thing by not ripping off your cash, even though you can bet that was a lot of the advice she was getting from her folks in LOS. Be grateful for that. Sorry for your loss but, if you believe in the Buddhist law of karma, what you did was a good thing and it will come back to you. Good luck with the healing. The trick will be not to develop bitterness. All the best... Chicago Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger Posted May 30, 2001 Report Share Posted May 30, 2001 "Tell me... How do you go about doing it?? If you can pick up a "normal" girl in your own country, you can also do it here, it may be more difficult and time consuming but it is very possible. All you know is how to pick up a Thai BG in a bar scene ! I agree that if you are here for a 2-3 week trip, however regular you visit, you are better off staying in the bar scene, on the other hand, if you live here then give the bar scene a miss for a while and frequent some other establishments. Do you have what it takes to be a b/f of a normal Thai girl? And what may that be??, it changes from girl to girl as it does anywhere. It's not 2 times and 8 nights for sure. ??? I'll keep my fingers crossed for you though." If you want to stick with bar girls then thats fine, But for me i find the scene a bit on the boring side, conversations are usually one-sided. I sat in a restaurant today listening to some guy talking to his BG, i really wondered why the guy hadnt worked out that this girl hadn't got a clue what he was saying and IMHO, didn't care. Bar girls are liars, they have to be to survive. Right from day one they start the lies.." I like you too much",.... "I only work here for one week"...."I want to sleep with you"..... With a " normal" Thai girl, I would think it is very rare for them to sleep with you unless they want to. After all this, I must say that I do,from time to time, still enjoy the bar scene here, but would not think about looking for a long term relationship there. By long term, i mean more than 6 hours.... Just my opinion.... Cheers Roger "Tell me... How do you go about doing it?? "Tell me... How do you go about doing it?? "Tell me... How do you go about doing it?? Do you have what it takes to be a b/f of a normal Thai girl? It's not 2 times and 8 nights for sure.I'll keep my fingers crossed for you though." [ May 29, 2001: Message edited by: Roger ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iuytrede Posted May 30, 2001 Report Share Posted May 30, 2001 quote: If you can pick up a "normal" girl in your own country, you can also do it here, many sanukers come to LOS because they cannot pick up a "normal" girl in their own country (for whatever reasons - too old, too poor, too shy, or maybe they could pick up a "normal" 40 yo 70 kg bloke, but in LOS they can get a 22 yo 40 kg beauty) quote: It's not 2 times and 8 nights for sure. ??? Hsteach in his original post on the ThaiFalangBoard mentioned how he fell in love with his wife after seeing her during 2 trips to LOS, each time 8 days Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger Posted May 30, 2001 Report Share Posted May 30, 2001 quote: many sanukers come to LOS because they cannot pick up a "normal" girl in their own country (for whatever reasons - too old, too poor, too shy, or maybe they could pick up a "normal" 40 yo 70 kg bloke, but in LOS they can get a 22 yo 40 kg beauty) Well, as i said in my post, if you want to stick with the bar scene then thats up to you, I guess it comes down to what you want from a relationship. quote: It's not 2 times and 8 nights for sure. ??? Hsteach in his original post on the ThaiFalangBoard mentioned how he fell in love with his wife after seeing her during 2 trips to LOS, each time 8 days Understood now, I have fallen in "lust" in 5 minutes in some bars. Cheers [ May 29, 2001: Message edited by: Roger ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyfarang Posted May 30, 2001 Report Share Posted May 30, 2001 IMHO you have a real mystery on your hands, or maybe you have more information than you are giving here, for instance, Boo Radley's two questions: How do you know she is back with her old BF and how did you find out he was at the wedding? Was this from the PI and how reliable is he? It seems like she may not have had the bad intentions from the start and maybe freaked out when she found out about her cancer. As an uneducated Thai she may have considered the ROK MARENG to be a death sentence. Maybe she panicked and decided she needed to spend her remaining days with her kids. Since she was older, maybe she did indeed intend to settle down with you, whether or not she truly loved or liked you, as she dreaded the approach of her sell by date. Maybe she bowed to pressure from her mercenary parents, not the boyfriend from a blind sense of family loyalty. Maybe you'll never really know what happened, but at least you got out relatively unscathed and will live to love another day/fight another battle. At least she didn't drain your bank accounts/credit card which may indicate that she did indeed have some affection for you. Chok dee, my friend. [ May 30, 2001: Message edited by: luckyfarang ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSTEACH Posted May 30, 2001 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2001 The information about the boyfriend came from two of her friends when I went to Bangkok to look for her.Granted these two friends were also in the bar business and may have had their own agenda for telling me this. Maybe they were taking advantage of the situation so they could move in for their own mercenary reasons. These sources were later confirmed by the girlfriends of two friends of mine. The ladies involved do not know each other, except the first two. The info about the BF being at the wedding came from one of her friends that was at the wedding. Why she would spill the beans as such, I don't know. I have not been able to contact my X since these stories came out. If I did I don't know whether she would deny it or not. She has not tried to contact me and whether that is because she wants no contact with me or because she might feel she would lose face to do so, I don't know at this time. All I would like to know is the basic true facts, then I could file this in the "bad experiences dept." and go on with my life. It is hard to do so when so many questions are unanswered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 30, 2001 Report Share Posted May 30, 2001 Hi HS, Luckyfarang's comment, "maybe freaked out when she found out about her cancer. As an uneducated Thai she may have considered the ROK MARENG to be a death sentence. Maybe she panicked and decided she needed to spend her remaining days with her kids" struck me. You know here very well, how do you think about that? Not to make things more compilcated for you, but I would not rule out that she could be the most lonely person in the world right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSTEACH Posted May 30, 2001 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2001 When I explained the whys and ifs of an abnormal pap smear, she seemed very unconcerned. When she was told it was the early stage of cervical cancer, she seemed unaffected. The oby/gyn explained it was not uncommon for women to develop these abnormal cell growths, but they could be cured. It was a simple procedure and it would just mean some followup pap smears on a more frequent basis than the normal once a year test. But she also told her NOT to ignore these findings as it could develop into something much more serious if it were ignored. Nuch again seemed unfazed by all of this. It was like she didn't even hear what the doctor was telling her. Like she didn't care. Arrangements were made for her to have this procedure done the day after she arrived back in Thailand by the brother-in-law of the Thai lady she had worked for here in the states. It had already been paid for, wouldn't cost her one satang. She never showed up or called. I wrote her a letter several weeks ago in very simple English offering to take her to the hospital when I come to BKK in July so she could get her problem corrected. Hell, I'd even pay for it. When it was over, she could go on her merry way. I would tho have the satisfaction of knowing that she was in good health again even tho I would probably never see her again. Am I crazy to offer this? No, that's the kind of person I am and I can't change that. Probably a good ending to a very sad situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gummigut Posted May 30, 2001 Report Share Posted May 30, 2001 Horribly, she could see this as her lot in life and could very well be depressed and lonely so she goes back to what's the most familiar. She could explain the cervical cancer to herself as her lot in life for bad karma that she made being a "bad girl" in the bar scene. All the bg's I know almost always refer to themselves as "bad" women. Thus she takes no action to cure it. She can seem all fine and dandy, but if they ever get to thinking, they very often go to pieces. Thus you saw everything as okay, and then she disappears without a trace. She very well may not have been happy inside and/or felt she didn't deserve you. I feel this woman is a good person, as she didn't take your money, and I am in agreement with the other poster that she did this against a lot of peer pressure. Alternatively, she is really married, did the whole thing up as a sham, but when she actually got to know you, she couldn't do it and is probably very ashamed. Either way, she is not going to willingly see you. Best thing is to get your letter regarding the cervical cancer translated with enough money for the first treatment. Give it to the most trustworthy friend/relative that you know to pass to her. Better yet, see if you can set it up with a hospital that you prepay for her, so she can just go in on her own time and you can confirm she actually went. Unfortunately, I don't think you will ever get the sense of "closure" that you are looking for, my condolences. <<burp>> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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