Are Thai women jealous?

[CondomKing]

quote:

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Originally posted by chocolat steve:

Not sure what to do get around it. If someone has a suggestion, I'd love to hear one. It seems like a cultural trait you just have to deal with.

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I've never been able to accept the ridiculous, irrational jealousy of the average Thai woman. Call me selfish but I just don't care if this is a way of showing affection in their culture. I think it's bullshit anyway. Yet another expedient way for them to try to control the situation. BTW, I am married to a Thai woman and if she were the jealous type, we wouldn't be married now. Fortunately for both of us, she is the clever, ruthless, cute and crafty type, and that works just fine for me. I think we've each met our match and it's all good.

When it comes to how to deal with jealousy I would recommend a two part strategy. Never get caught and never get sucked into any discussion of real or imagined indiscretions. Part one is up to you. The best way to do part two is to start by saying repeatedly, "Mai cow chai" (I don't understand). If that doesn't work try, "Mai pood" (I'm not talking). You'll have to assess the situation and choose the appropriate emotion with which to deliver these responses. It can be with a smile, a scowl, mild annoyance, serious anger, etc. (Yes, sometimes you just have to be a prick.)

I have never been with a woman in Thailand on which these tactics didn't work. Of course, it's just a temporary fix. It certainly won't cure anyone of unreasonable jealousy. When you've had as much as you can stand, usually for me, around the beginning of the clothes sniffing stage, it's time to make plans to leave.

[ August 19, 2001: Message edited by: CondomKing ]

[ August 19, 2001: Message edited by: CondomKing ]

[New Petchburi Pete]

I think the most jealous Thai ladies are the ones who are financially dependent on their boyfriends or husbands. If you are their bread and butter, my advice is be careful!

If they have worked in the 'scene,' they are cynical because they hear too many stories of other gals being chested on by those guys that like to butterfly.

Before I agreed to marry my Thai girlfriend, she found out from a friend (and they seem to have 'lookouts' in most of the right places) that I had spent a night with stunner from NEP. This resulted in my receiving a black eye, which is visible in my wedding photos.

If you find yourself in a heated argument with a Thai lady, I advise you not to turn your back on her ... and hide knives, etc.!

They do tend to ease up a little once they

realize your sincerity and fidelity, if you are able to maintain it.

I think the jealousy is also a culturally related thing because they also know that the vast majority of Thai men are unfaithful. And why should we expect preferential treatment?

Again, if you are involved in a relationship, or are married to a Thai lady,

I think you will eventually earn their trust if you are faithful. But, in the early stages, watch out for those left hooks! Many

of the gals from Isaan grow up with a brother

or two, who all practice their muay Thai on their sisters (usually just fooling around) so, if you have angered them for whatever reason (and you might not always know why), remember, keep your distance, and be prepared for anything.

[Guest]

double standard... If you take a bf out, she thinks you belong to her. Meanwhile she can go from one guy to the next. If she finds that you take out another girl, she throws a fit....double standard?

[Guest]

jon268,

They (the girls) don't look at it as a double standard. I have been on many trips to Mexico and many countries in South America for the sole purpose to sanuk. I think all the girls in that business have the same mind set. For them it is ONLY BUSINESS, so it doen't count if they are with other men. If we butterfly we are cheating on them in some way. Only business go figure.

LeoTex

[CondomKing]

quote:

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Originally posted by jon268:

double standard... If you take a bf out, she thinks you belong to her. Meanwhile she can go from one guy to the next. If she finds that you take out another girl, she throws a fit....double standard?

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Yes, definitely, double standard. Just another bullshit routine even if she believes her own bullshit.

In the past I have explained the situation to the jealous B/G like this: "You like money, I like pussy. You go with man and I go with lady. You don't control me, I don't control you."

In most cases that explanation will only work if you also promise not to take other girls from around where your current beloved works, not just her bar, but for instance, if she works on Soi cowboy, so, OK, "I no take lady Soi Cowboy, only one, you." That tactic has worked very well for me and, let's face it, you're not giving up very much and your sweetheart doesn't have to worry about being embarrassed that her friends are going to see her "boyfriend" walking past the bar with another girl.

[Guest]

New Petchburi Pete

 

I just added some of my thought in between

 

“I think the most jealous Thai ladies are the ones who are financially dependent on their boyfriends or husbands. If you are their bread and butter, my advice is be careful!”

Thai ladies who are not financial dependent on their husbands are jealous too.

 

”If they have worked in the 'scene,' they are cynical because they hear too many stories of other gals being cheated on by those guys that like to butterfly.”

Thai women who are not working in the scene are also cynical. Apparently Thai women are growing up with the idea that men are butterflies.

 

”If you find yourself in a heated argument with a Thai lady, I advise you not to turn your back on her ... and hide knives, etc.!”

I fully agree on this. Thai women do not hesitate to chop off your dick, once caught screwing around. My brother in-law was caught being naughty and the poor guy was scared to death to remove his pants. Did sleep the whole week with his paints on.

[Guest]

quote:

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Originally posted by CondomKing:

When it comes to how to deal with jealousy I would recommend a two part strategy. Never get caught and never get sucked into any discussion of real or imagined indiscretions. Part one is up to you. The best way to do part two is to start by saying repeatedly, "Mai cow chai" (I don't understand). If that doesn't work try, "Mai pood" (I'm not talking). You'll have to assess the situation and choose the appropriate emotion with which to deliver these responses. It can be with a smile, a scowl, mild annoyance, serious anger, etc. (Yes, sometimes you just have to be a prick.)

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The secret is to become non-reactive. The more you defend yourself, the more obviously you have a reason to do so. I calmed my GF down by continuing my old 'bad' behaviour by looking after attractive girl, but at the same time, i have always been completely faithful around her. Once she figured out, my interest in other women is only visual, she wasn't upset anymore

Roland

[carlton68]

Hi,

I want to add some of my experiences to that discussion.

My wife shows her jealousy alot. I don't like it, but that's part of the package. She calls me to check if I'm working, especially when I'm working late. And every time she doesn't get me on the phone she gets suspicious.

Because we have a baby I organized to have an Au Pair to help with the baby and the house. This Au Pair is not nice looking at all, but this doesn't matter. Also my wife agreed to take an Au Pair my little sunshine started to go nuts after two weeks. She didn't talk to the Au Pair, didn't want me to talk to her, started crying and told me to get rid of the Au Pair. The Au Pair started crying and wanted to go to her homecountry (I felt a little sorry for her). Some hours later my wife also wants to go home to mama because without Au Pair she does not have anyone to help with the house and the baby and no babysitter she trusted so we can go out to party.

Hell, what I am to do caught in a circle of unlogic? After two days of fighting I was ready to send my wife back to her luxory appartement and her high rise job :-) she had before we married. But I love my wife and the good times with her, and my baby of course. And I got more nasty tan just sending her back: I called her brother, told him about the situation and that I'm about to kick her out. Then I handed the phone to her. Some more hours of crying but then she started to get normal again. A few days later she was al lovely and caring as ever.

So I managed to get freedom at home. The Au Pair stays, the girls go on together quite well again.

The jealousy has not stopped, but it's not that outrageous any more.

My advice: If it's a small issue say 'I love you baby', deny it and forget it. If the piece is too big to swallow then remember you are a bloody farang. If she slams the door you ARE allowed to get louder. Take action. Instead of defending yourself tell her that you love her and why she's giving you shit all the time. If your girl respects her family more than you, then make use of it. Give her a chance to show signs of peace and give her a friendly and warm response if she wants peace. After all, you love her, right? And she doesn't want to loose you because of nothing.

On the other hand you married a nice funloving girl who makes your heart jump every time she smiles at you. What's the point of being married when she's bitching around all the time and your heart stopped jumping? Then it's time to cut the losses. Don't let her jealousy rule your life.

Carlton