Guest Posted June 22, 2001 Report Share Posted June 22, 2001 Gents, as a newbie to this forum, I've enjoyed reading the posts. Extremely informative. I'd like to ask a few questions. The answers have probably appeared here in the past, and in many forms. However, I'm especially interested in Sanuk's reply. Of course, I'd appreciate other opinions, too! My situation follows: I'm very close to accepting a university teaching position in the North. I'm 37 yrs. old., male, single, well-educated, fit, trim, and told that I'm a considerate and compassionate gentleman. I have no intentions of marriage (now or in the future; it's just not for me!). However, I'd be lying if I said the prospects of fine female companionship were not a factor in my decision to proceed to the LOS. What are my chances for finding a nice, reasonably attractive (not a beauty queen), educated, non-gold-digging, single, mature-in-mind, lady for a long-term relationship not resulting in marriage? Am I dreaming? Or, should I resign myself to the TSM-type lifestyle (love 'em and leave 'em)? I appreciate your feedback and commentary. Thanks a million!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 22, 2001 Report Share Posted June 22, 2001 Originally posted by teacherwannabe:"What are my chances for finding a nice, reasonably attractive (not a beauty queen), educated, non-gold-digging, single, mature-in-mind, lady for a long-term relationship not resulting in marriage?" Nice: no problem whatsoever Reasonably attractive: easy as pie Educated: you mean educated in the Western sense? Problem of gargantuan proportions Non-gold-digging: Medium-sized to big problem Single: no problem (if you discount the former boy-friend who may be lurking in the background) Mature-in-mind: Medium-sized to very big problem Not resulting in marriage: One more BIIIIIG PROBLEM Overall I'd rate your odds at succeeding at 1:50/100. Advice: Come with very low expectations and flow with the tide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 22, 2001 Report Share Posted June 22, 2001 Thanks, Scum, I appreciate the input. Good advice. One in 50 or one in 100 is nowhere near what I guessed. I thought it would be a reasonable prospect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted June 22, 2001 Report Share Posted June 22, 2001 quote: Originally posted by teacherwannabe: What are my chances for finding a nice, reasonably attractive (not a beauty queen), educated, non-gold-digging, single, mature-in-mind, lady for a long-term relationship not resulting in marriage? Am I dreaming? Or, should I resign myself to the TSM-type lifestyle (love 'em and leave 'em)? I appreciate your feedback and commentary. Thanks a million!! The women you seek will want marriage. Remember Thailand is a very conservative society (uniforms in college?). You #### one of these ladies off and your life could be ####. Save yourself a lot of grief and stick with rent-a-gf. It is much cheaper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 22, 2001 Report Share Posted June 22, 2001 quote: Originally posted by teacherwannabe: I have no intentions of marriage (now or in the future; it's just not for me!). What do you want from a long-term relationship that you cannot get in a marriage? Intentions can change. We had been living together five years and had two children when we decided that marriage might not be such a bad idea after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 22, 2001 Report Share Posted June 22, 2001 teacher, I found a girl pretty close to what you are looking for (see my post under the Sanuk Discount topic), but I sometimes find that I miss being able to sleep with any girl I want. I don't like to be a jerk so I wont cheat on my girlfriend (at least not in LOS) an there are times when I would like to live the love 'em and leave 'em lifestyle. I think you will have a great time living in Thailand (I wish I was), but I wouldn't be too quick to jump into a long-term relationship. It can be fun to be a butterfly! - FB [ June 22, 2001: Message edited by: FlyBoy ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted June 22, 2001 Report Share Posted June 22, 2001 Teacherwannabe, If you are correct in your personality and physicial characteristics, they will find you. The problem is you will not want these types of girls. If you do want that girl-next-door type, I put the odds at zero percent IF you are unwilling to think about/convey to her marriage possibilities. You have to critically ask yourself "what is in it long-term for her?" All women want long-term financial and relationship security. Why should she bother with you when there are similiar guys out there but with a greater upside of willing to commit to her. You are approaching this from " I what my cake and eat it too" mentality. I think until your change your thought process/outlook, you asking for a perfect situation satisfying only your own needs. By saying you are "compassionate and considerate", your attitude/behavior seems to demonstate otherwise. Think about why should she want you? What is in it for her? A few good times, and then you leave when you feel like it? Case closed. Stick to BGs until you have a change of heart and focus. Save yourself the grief and disappointment of unrealistic expectations. No flame intended - just my two cents. Respectfully, Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 22, 2001 Report Share Posted June 22, 2001 Teacher: I will respectfully disagree with most of the responses in this thread. I think apart from one attribute - educated, in Western sense - you wouldn't have any trouble finding what you're looking for. What you're describing is a mia noi [minor wife] arrangement, quite common in Thailand. Of course, in your there is no major wife, but that is no obstacle to having a mia noi . (What makes this type of relationship analogous to mia noi is that she understands and accepts that there is no long term prospect.) I say it's an arrangement because she will expect you to support her in some fashion. Still, that doesn't mean she's a gold digger. If she lives with you it may be just extra 5,000 Baht per month to send to her parents. In Thailand, the opportunities are so limited that there are many women for whom living with a likeable guy is quite attractive. If you've never dealt with Thai women, be very sceptical of what they say. Also, be very sceptical of your own thoughts. Hard to explain. Over there nothing is what it seems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted June 22, 2001 Report Share Posted June 22, 2001 Hi, First of all, I doubt that I am an expert on this. Anyway, I agree with the other responses. You will probably be able to find a girl that qualifies, but as the others have mentioned marriage will almost certainly come up at one time or another. Other than that I don't think you should have that many problems finding a nice girl. Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lembeh Posted June 22, 2001 Report Share Posted June 22, 2001 Hi TW ..as a University lecturer you will have a pretty respected position in society. You will certainly find it easy over the long haul to meet "regular" Thai ladies, both socially and professionally, and this will include almost definately...female students. As a word of advice..steer clear of them...lots of potential grief there, both personally and professionally which you could well do without... Long term relationships without the possibility of marriage at the end of it will be very difficult, although not impossible, but, you must be very careful not to "mislead" any girl as a hurt "regular" thai lady or girl could get very vengeful... if you want more specifics on the "joys" of university life, email me off the board at josh_ingu@hotmail.com -josh- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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