PhilAnders Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 Bill, desperate for water, was plodding through the desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old man at a small stand selling neckties. Bill asked, "Do you have water?" The old man man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only 5 dollars." Bill shouted, "Idiot old man! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water! I should kill you, BUT I must find water first." "OK," said the old man, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. " I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about five kilometers, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the water you need. "Good day." Muttering, Bill staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, near collapse - "Your brother won't let me in without a tie." ********** An al-Qaeda guerilla, desperate for water, was plodding through the desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling neckties. The Arab man asked, "Do you have water?" The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only 5 dollars." The Arab shouted, "Idiot Jew! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water! I should kill you, BUT I must find water first." "OK," said the old Jew, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. " I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about five kilometers, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the water you need. "Good day." Muttering, the Arab staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, near collapse - "Your brother won't let me in without a tie." ********* A Jewish man from Israel, desperate for water, was plodding through the desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old Arab man at a small stand selling neckties. The Jewish man asked, "Do you have water?" The Arab man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only 5 dollars." The Jewish man shouted, "Idiot Arab! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water! I should kill you, BUT I must find water first." "OK," said the old Arab man, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. " I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about five kilometers, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the water you need. "Good day." Muttering, the Jew staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, near collapse - "Your brother won't let me in without a tie." ******* Old jokes, very old jokes. They needn't be based on racism, current political situations, evil thoughts, or ethnocentricism to be funny. If "Bill" was Polish, Italian, French, Thai, German, Japanese, Korean, or Nigerian etc. etc. is it funnier? Not in my opinion. Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evel_Penivel Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 I don't want to cross-post, but I wrote this before I saw your poll: Post #521957 My grandfather was a clown with the Barnum & Bailey circus in the late 1800's and early 1900's. He used to say about jokes and comedy in general, "If no one is getting stomped or fucked, there's nothing to laugh at." Consider this joke: Q: What do you get when you cross (insert ethnic minority) with (insert another ethnic minority group)? A: Children too lazy to steal. Insert the right groups and it's hilarious, insert the wrong ones and it doesn't make sense. It has to be groups which aren't noted for being honest or industrious. The groups can vary from country to country or even city to city. I can see the effect of political correctness in the preliminary results of your poll. There is absolutely nothing funny about the Bill joke. It's only virtue is that it is politically correct, like calling someone "differently gifted" instead of "retarded." If political correctness could ever be enforced, all humor would disappear. Some of the speech codes on U.S. university campuses actually make "inappropriate laughter" a punishable offense. Students would be disciplined not only for for telling an offensive jokes, but for laughing at it as well. Censuring jokes because they supposed to be offensive is our own societies' suicidal version of the Taliban banning music, kite-flying and paper bags. Evel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 My grandfather was a clown with the Barnum & Bailey circus in the late 1800's and early 1900's. He used to say about jokes and comedy in general, "If no one is getting stomped or fucked, there's nothing to laugh at." Your grandfather sounds like a bitter old clown to me. I prefer Tommy Cooper... "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'" OK...it's just me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 Evil, You're right dude. Remember "All in the family?" it was funny, you either laughed with or at the characters, and their different views. And quite often you saw something different in your opinion through it all.You could never have a show like that today..."too offensive..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 How about 'Little Britain' and Ali G? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fidel Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 Although I prefer the old Ali G stuff, I thought the scene from the movie, where he was attending a UN meeting was quite funny. The camera pans to the Thai delegate and you just see these chick's spread knees with ping-pong balls shooting from her crotch across the table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 I haven't seen the movie yet. I'm curious to see how his stuff translates to the big screen. I think Borat, for instance, needs to be kind of tacky and unprofessional to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fidel Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 The movies are crap. But, yeah, I like Borat. Shit, I just did a search and realised they're making "Borat: The movie". Don't think it'll work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuckwoww Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 Just in case anybody doesn't know who Borat is... http://www.newyorker.com/talk/content/?040920ta_talk_radosh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bust Posted August 14, 2006 Report Share Posted August 14, 2006 I like the Borat style but seems to go way over the heads of many. He reminds me of the original Norman Gunston. One of the funniest things I ever saw was the confused look on Colonal Tom Parker when Gunston asked him in a press conference what the 11 secret herbs and spices were. The entire press gallery cracked up. Parker just looked blank and had to get rescued by his PA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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