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Compassion/forgiveness...?


Old Hippie

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O.k. suppose someone in your life, someone very dear to you, maybe someone you loved etc screwed you over, maybe not intentionally, but none the less, you got hurt, broken heart, maybe a financial loss, left with an empty used/played out feeling whatever...you felt hurt by them, and their actions...*But* you did promise that you would always help them (perhapes in a heat of passion or emotion).

 

Now, suppose after not really having much contact with them for almost a year, theysuddenly, unexpectedly, contacted you, and asked for your help. *Maybe* you are the *only* person left they have to ask...do you...

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For someone who screwed you over, and knows it, to come back a year later and try to hold you to your 'promise to help' just shows how clueless they are, and shows they still do not care that they are playing with your emotions, taking advantage of your good heart, and shows to me they are selfish and thinking only of themselves. If they hurt you before and realize the pain they caused you they would not come back into your life if they cared for you one iota. With this type ... its always all about them.

 

Cent

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I think a year is the expiry date on that type of promise. If the only contact has been to bail them out I would be apologetic in your decline to help. If you are the last person they have to turn to, it says a lot about them. Perhaps they have already burnt their other bridges. Big No.

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Too many variables to give an absolute response, very much depends on the wrong, i'm forgiving to a point, but someone desperate is just that, desperate...you are almostly certainly not the first person they asked and the level of contact over the previous year should indicate just how much they think of you/about you.

 

If it was a BG who pissed me about, then i'd say no, no matter how desperate...especially if the help was financial...cos you wont see her or it again once the money has been exchanged...jing jing.

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it really depends on the case. If someone tried to screw me over I will forgive but not forget! If someone want me to bail her out she better has a very good reason. If small help is required to make her life easier, why not? But if she asks for help more often I will most likely turn her down! If she was a real bitch to me before then - Som Nam Na

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