Old Hippie Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 JS, How many TGs do we know who make the superficial cuts to the wrists when a guy dumps them? The threat is sad, pathetic, and may be carried out in a 1/2 assed manner designed to scare you and make you feel bad/take her back...don't go for it. There are 2 lives here, hers and yours. Sometimes you have to save yourself. Sometimes you can only save yourself. Failing to do that may result in both lives being destroyed. As for being friends with her...tough, I have done it, but in those cases, I was the one dumped, and while I want to stay close, my immediate reason is to get in their pants again. Sad and pathetic I admit, but all part of the healing process. I think this is what Cent ment by "trying to win, only to treat them like shit later." I have done that. Petty, but I did. And frankly, it felt great in one recent case. I don't think Cent was implying you were such a case, clearly, you are not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
junglesoup Posted January 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 thanks for the advie OH. Sorry to Cent, maybe I m a bit over sensitive about this issue, and jumped in too quick. No offense meant. I ll take on board what everyone has said, and put the threats down to a scare tactic. Maybe she doesnt want to any of this but she feels bad broken hearted so in her mind she has no other otion. AS you said there are two lives here, thanks again, chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted January 8, 2007 Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Junglesoup, Where was I speaking to you or about you? My post was a reply to Julian's, nothing more, and was not aimed at you or had anything to do with you/your post. It had everything to do with what Julian said and the fact I have seen this happen many times with others, especially the guys who make this all into some game of pursuit, conquest, and an ego-boosting thing. And yes, many of these sorts do treat the girl like shit once they have gotten what they wanted to boost their ego, and many are off looking for the next 'conquest' without a thought of the other person at all. If that isn't you, fine, I never said or suggested it was. Lighten up. Cent p.s. Ah,okay. Just saw the post above. My post wasn't directed at you, JS. No problems. See, I replied before reading the whole thread. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
junglesoup Posted January 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 8, 2007 Junglesoup, Where was I speaking to you or about you? My post was a reply to Julian's, nothing more, and was not aimed at you or had anything to do with you/your post. It had everything to do with what Julian said and the fact I have seen this happen many times with others, especially the guys who make this all into some game of pursuit, conquest, and an ego-boosting thing. And yes, many of these sorts do treat the girl like shit once they have gotten what they wanted to boost their ego, and many are off looking for the next 'conquest' without a thought of the other person at all. If that isn't you, fine, I never said or suggested it was. Lighten up. Cent p.s. Ah,okay. Just saw the post above. My post wasn't directed at you, JS. No problems. See, I replied before reading the whole thread. Good luck. No worries man. And yes you are quite right in what you say. Later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranma500 Posted January 10, 2007 Report Share Posted January 10, 2007 Please don't think I'm a trekky. I'm really not. But I do remember an episode of Next Generation, where the crew meet an advanced race of incredibly intelligent beings. One demonstration of their extraordinary intelligence is that they claim to know five words that you can say to a woman to make her instantly fall in love with you, and another five words that will make her instantly fall out of love with you. Wouldn't that be wonderful? And isn't it strange how many responses get vehement and angry and bitter to such a question? Some accuse the girl of melodramatic histrionics. Others accuse the guy of childish control-seeking behaviour. But it's really all just a common, sad, and sometimes inevitable story. I remember once sitting on an aeroplane next to a young Thai student. She was writing an essay on some sort of biological subject in perfect English. She was only 20. She was wonderfully cute, bright, and totally lovely. As the stewardess passed her the food tray, she reached for it, and I saw the scars on her wrist. I was stunned. I couldn't possibly imagine how a girl who would seem to be so perfect could feel such suffering that she would want to hack at herself with a knife. I daresay such acts aren't a real attempt at suicide, but I can't imagine how desperate I would have to be to take a knife to my wrist. And it's not just the GTGs who fall in love. I've known the most hardened of bargirls who have gone through the same pain. I have felt that pain, and I have caused it. The pain goes away. But I will never get over having caused it. I wish I had some helpful advice, but I don't think there is anything that anyone can say that will be helpful. If you feel that you have to break up with her, then that probably is the right thing to do. If you don't do it now, you will probably do it later. But it will be painful and horrible. I just hope it doesn't last too long. Best wishes, ranma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
junglesoup Posted January 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2007 Thats the problem ranma, you know your hurting them so you try to remain friends so as to make sure they are ok. Thankls for your advice chris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loner w/a boner Posted January 10, 2007 Report Share Posted January 10, 2007 Hi JungleSoup: Sounds like you've got some pretty good advice here. Odds of suicide are low, but possible; but definitely a manipulation tactic to keep you. I do happen to know a Thai woman who killed herself this last year coz her Thai hubby kept going out on her. Sounds like your gal is emotionally inexperienced with men, and may need some time to think about what she is threatening to do. If you know her family, and they are stable, they may be able to help. There's a lot of strong negative emotion out there, loneliness, loss of love, business failure, so many things. Reminds me of a saying I once heard, "Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.". Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YimSiam Posted January 11, 2007 Report Share Posted January 11, 2007 I had a sticky breakup with a GTG about six years ago, haven't seen her for ages -- but would you believe I still get pitiful emails from her about every two weeks, and on every holiday? They just don't know when to quit sometimes, and efforts to make it smooth and easy by talking your way through it, or shifting gently to a jao-shu mode (?!) are not going to work. I'd say stop taking calls, get a new number if you have to, and just walk away. YimSiam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meecrob111 Posted January 13, 2007 Report Share Posted January 13, 2007 Sounds like her first beakup....the first is always the hardest. They are never good, but like anything in life, you get better at it. I'd leave her alone and have no contact for a while, maybe a call in three months to see how she's doing and then re-evaluate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khun004 Posted January 17, 2007 Report Share Posted January 17, 2007 If you really want to break up with her, I found that "being her friend" just prolonged the pain. ...[snip]...I want you to know she was the sweetest woman in the world when we were together. She was the perfect Thai jai dee. That all changed when I broke up with her. Not because she was playing games but because she was heartbroken. I found that changing from a relationship to friends was not possible with a Thai woman. Excellent advice. Thank you, Mainsail. And I hope you will write more about how to minimize problems when breaking up with TG. Sometime I should tell you guys the story about how I came to find a Thai GF in the US. It is an interesting story. Please do. Perhaps worth a thread of it's own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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