Sukhumvit Posted April 16, 2007 Report Share Posted April 16, 2007 What was that nonsense Clint Eastwood was garbling on about in Million Dollar Baby, "My cushion" or something? Didn't know he got so hot and bothered about interior decor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukhumvit Posted April 16, 2007 Report Share Posted April 16, 2007 The oldies still do it for me. Paddy and Mick are walking down the road looking for work. They see a sign "Tree Fellers Wanted." Paddy turns to Mick and says "Tis a pity there's only the two of us!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
was_usvirgin Posted April 16, 2007 Report Share Posted April 16, 2007 My favorite is an old one too, but I can't remember it exactly and I can't find it on the internet. Something about a couple of new found friends who met in a pub, going through revelations about having grown up in the same village, gone to the same schools, and all sorts of other remarkable coincidences. Someone complained, for whatever reason, and the bartender replied, "Don't worry, that's just the O'Malley brothers, drunk again." Something like that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mekong Posted April 16, 2007 Report Share Posted April 16, 2007 I like the one about the Irishman who walks into a Bar at 7PM on a Tuesday, orders 3 pints of Guiness at once, spends a couple of hours drinking them then leaves. Next Tuesday the same thing happens, the following week the landlord said "I could serve them one at a time you know" he replies "Don't be doing that, this is my weekly drink with my Brothers, Paidrig is in London and Seamus is in Liverpool, every Tuesday at 7PM we all buy 3 pints so we can still have a drink together." This goes on for a few months until one Tuesday at 7PM he walks in and ordered 2 pints, the Landlord walked over later and said "Sorry for your Loss" the Irishman replies "What Loss?" the Landlord says "Well For the last few months it has been 3 beers for you and your brothers but this week I notice you only have 2 beers I assumed the worse" "Give Over" replied the Irishman "I have stopped drinking now" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted April 16, 2007 Report Share Posted April 16, 2007 Yeah the oldies are very good... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teddy Posted April 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2007 Paddy gets a job on a building site, the first day the foreman says to Paddy, "Paddy, oile find yer somthin to do later when oi come back from me breakfast, but fer now could you just go over der and measure that flagpole lyin on the floor for me now". The foreman has his breakfast and returns to find Paddy who has dug a hole. erected the flagole and was at the top of a mobile scaffold hanging down a long tape measure. "Be Jesus Paddy. what the feck are ya doin, why did ye not just measure it on the ground" Paddy replied, "well I tort it was the height ye were wantin, not the length" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiLeakHunt Posted April 16, 2007 Report Share Posted April 16, 2007 I know it's not Irish, but there's two rats in the sewer and the first one says, "I'm fucking sick of it here, shit for breakfast, shit for dinner, and shit for tea." "Never mind," says his mate, "We can go on the piss after." Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lusty Posted April 28, 2007 Report Share Posted April 28, 2007 The science ministries of the USA,the UK and Irish republic were asked to embark on a study to find out what the fuction of the helmet on the end of a mans penis was for. The American scientists at the cost $100,000 came to the conclusion that it was for the womans pleasure. The British scientists at s cost of £10,000 concluded that it was for the mans pleasure. The Irish scientists spent 2 Euro's and decided it was to stop your hand from slipping of the end! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dddave Posted April 28, 2007 Report Share Posted April 28, 2007 See now, in Boston we don't pick on the poor, un-fortunate and downtrodden; we pick on HARVARD STUDENTS: "How many Harvard Students to change a light bulb?" "Only one; he holds it tightly while the world revolves around it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candyfloss Posted April 29, 2007 Report Share Posted April 29, 2007 excellent bit of banter there Teddy lad... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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