Irish Joke

[teddy]

A pregnant Irish girl phones home.

 

Girl: "mam oi tink me waters hav broke"

Mum: "oh me holy jaysus. Where are ya ringin from?"

Girl: "oim ringin from me minge to me fockin ankles"

 

Years old, but still funny when your on to your third bottle of Clancy's Red

[junglesoup]

Thanks for that teddy. Have you read roddy Doyles stuff. Its got that type of humour. Actaully I think alot of the board memebers might not get that joke...

 

and heres one for the spirit of things...

 

Irish Jumping and Gliding

Sunday afternoon:

 

Two Irishmen, Mick and Taffy, are standing at the edge of a medium-sized

cliff (about twenty meters high).

 

Mick has a budgie perched on each of his shoulders, and Taffy has two

Parrots sitting on his.

 

So are you ready then?" asks Taffy.

 

Sure," says Mick... "here I go then."

 

He leaps off the edge of the cliff, drops like a stone and splatters himself

against the rocks at the bottom - damaging himself quite badly.

 

Taffy takes one look at this and, after a moments hesitation, decides he'll

do better if he takes a bit of a run-up. He backs up a few paces, sprints

to the edge of the cliff, and jumps...

 

Splat! He too lands in a crumpled, badly damaged heap close to where Mick

is still trying to figure out what happened.

 

"I tell you one thing," says Mick, "this budgie jumping isn't for me eh?"

 

"Ay", says Taffy, "and this parrot gliding is quite dangerous too mate!"

[Palatkik]

but still funny when your on to your third bottle of Clancy's Red

 

Excellent stuff, I've just finished several Heinies and it still works very well.

[Torneyboy]

Funny

[Lusty]

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think the nation who is at the butt end of "being thick" jokes depend on which country you live.

In fact many of these jokes are told in Ireland but the people from County Kerry are deemed as the thick ones.To the American's,its the Polish,to the Australians its the Kiwi's and visa versa.

And obviously to us Brits its the Irish who in reality are very far from being stupid.

Which other nationalities deem which residents of other countries thick,eg Spanish/Portugues,Swedes/Norwegians etc etc?

Thanx

Did you hear that they found an Irish family staving to death and suffering from hypothermia outside a cinema?

They had been waiting outside for three months to see "Closed of the winter"!

[Torneyboy]

 

And the Poms with us,,

[Flashermac]

In California and Hawaii it's the Portuguese.

 

 

[limbo]

In Holland it's the Belgians and the other way around.

 

The Germans use the Ost Friezen (in the north of Germany).

 

The French have themselves.

[junglesoup]

What I noticed about the paddy irish jokes is that when a Scottish person told them the Irishman was the butt of the joke, when the English guy told one, the Irish guy and when the Irish guy tells one, yes its still the Irish person is the stupid one...quite funny...in someways its ironic that the Irish do this...

[Mekong]

Junglesoup.

 

As Lusty posted before, Irish Jokes are predominately inter-county jokes amongst the counties with Co Kerry being the butt of the most of them.

 

For about 12 years on and off I was working with an Irish Engineering contractor as the token "Non-Irishman" in the teams, shitholes like Saudi Bahrain and Qatar, but also decent postings in the States, China and Korea and always enjoyed the time I was with them both working and socialy.

 

Even now thee is one of the Guys back in Saudi sending out 2-3 Irish Jokes per day, Project Managers must get bored in the Desert since they are sent during working hours.

 

I have often thought that if you were to mix Thai Sanuk and Western Common Sense you would probably end up with a character similar to an Irishman.