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On similar lines, but this is true.   MLG wants to send a small parcel to the USA from NZ. OK Wrap it and we're off to the post office. Post it in Mid December. No tracking, too expensive.   After

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News just in, oceanographers have recorded dolphins having conversations in their own dolphin language. They'd been trying for ages then suddenly it just clicked.

 

"Posted 14 February 2017 - 23:26

News just in, oceanographers have recorded dolphins having conversations in their own dolphin language. They'd been trying for ages then suddenly it just clicked."

 

Palatik, stuck in a 7 day loop?

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A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

 

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

 

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

 

After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

 

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

 

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

 

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Re-dial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

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On similar lines, but this is true.

 

MLG wants to send a small parcel to the USA from NZ. OK Wrap it and we're off to the post office. Post it in Mid December. No tracking, too expensive.

 

After two weeks it is not there yet. Detailed explanation about slow post, internationally, especially at Xmas time. OK for now. Husband, "Don't worry, just wait, it'll turn up eventually"

After three weeks it is not there yet. Detailed explanation about slow post, internationally, still especially at Xmas time. OK for now. Husband, "Don't worry, just wait, it'll turn up eventually"

After four weeks it is not there yet. Detailed explanation about slow post, internationally, still especially from Xmas time. OK for now. Husband, "Don't worry, just wait, it'll turn up eventually"

After five weeks, frog march Husband to post office, Husband, "Don't worry, just wait, it'll turn up eventually" make husband query post office worker, no tracking? Oh, Post Office worker, "We could fill out a claim for a missing parcel" So we do.

 

Letter comes in mail with form and website to fill out details, 20 minutes time doing so. Post Office emails saying they've received the claim and it'll be 6 to 8 weeks while they investigate this. MLG is now angry with Post Office. Telephone rings, relative in USA has parcel, thank you. Husband right, but not forgiven :)

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