10 dumbest resume (CV) blunders

[Bangkoktraveler]

What I hate is when people come into the store and ask for a job then ask what do you do.

 

I hate people when I ask for a resume ask what is a resume.

 

I hate people who provide a resume but their work experience indicates they are about 22 years old but when you look at them, they are about 55 years old.

 

I hate people who claim they have done everything but in reality, still have not been potty trained.

 

I hate people who use the canned expression "That is not my job!" Some are so good at this that it appears they do not have a job.

[ALHOLK]

Hi!

 

I have just sent a job application in English. What would be the correct way to start it when you don't know the gender of the receiver.

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

"Q: what does a PHP programmer earn in the los nowadays?"

 

Depends a lot on experience, anywhere between 15K and 40K (for a Thai).

 

Sanuk!

 

[BJ_Blackowitz]

Dear Madam, Dear Sir,

 

Bla die Bla die Bla

 

 

[David99UK]

Hi!

 

I have just sent a job application in English. What would be the correct way to start it when you don't know the gender of the receiver.

 

If it really doesn't matter I use Mr (on the basis that women usually state their marital status - and if they are women who don't make it clear they will be well used to be called Mr an dif they can't be bothered, why should I? :smirk: )

 

But on a CV (or where the result and therefore impressions matter), I would do a Google on any first name to see what gender it usually is (albeit it is not always clear!) and then call up the company for the person (and pretend to be someone else :smirk: ) and ASK for Mr XXX (the receptionist / colleague / her / him will usually correct you).

 

Same applies if you only have initials to work with.

 

Remember, it's only deception if you get caught :smirk:

 

Pet hates on CV's ? Well my own is having to dumb it down.

 

Pet hates with bossess / interviews is that they mostly do not know what they want, let alone what YOUR role actually involves. Funniest interview I had (and turned out to be a good ££ job) was with a panel of 3.......2 minutes in I realised that they basically said they had no idea what my job involved and how it was done and could I explain it to them. Gawd bless 'em You can imagine how the billing for that job went

 

Getting CV's? My pet hate is those with lots of work related qualifications and little time on the job as I know that they will think this automatically means they can do the job in practice......and that after 2 weeks they should be promoted......usually in practice too much like hard work to manage.

 

Give me someone who can read and write and do basic mental arithmatic, BUT who is willing to learn and to accept in the meantime they do not know everything.......and can look longer than 3 months ahead.