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Need some advice again guys...much appreciated.


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Well, I just told my gf that I m HIV+ today. She was very shocked and upset.


Alot of crying and a feeling of doom. But she is not resentful towards me...At first she said she would not go for the test...but I think I ve talked her around.


Ironically, her reason for not wanting to test, is not because she might have HIV, but because she is worried that the people in the hospital will think she is a whore. She also wont tell anyoe. I said she should tell her best friend, for some support, but she doesnt want to. The reason being that of she doesnt have it she thinks her friends and family will tell her to stay away from me.


The relationship isnt working anyway I feel. But she is very attached and cant accept that it hasnt been working. I m not even living in Thailand. Things are too complicated. But they are even more so now. I said I would support her and get her the best doctors.


She also said she wont ever be able to get a good job, because the companies in Thailand test for HIV, and dont employ people with it. She also said that people in Thailand will look at her as if she is a disgusting person.


It really seems that it is the stigma which she cant deal with. She said if she has it she doesnt want to live with it. Thai people seem very ignorant of it, and she even thinks that you can't drink after someone who has. I told her this was rubbish and wrong info, but she said thats what people in Thailand believe.


Now this is the advice I m asking.


Is there any support groups for Thai people living with this in Bangkok?


Are there any good websites in Thai about HIV?


I think she needs a support group if she does test positive.


Do companies test you, and not give you a job if you are a poz person?


She really needs to de stigmatise herself. I was thinking that an HIV specialist at one of the top hospitals could talk to her and give her the facts.


I really hope she doesnt have it, but again, I ve got a feeling she does have it...


Anything advice you guys can give me on this situation? Or anything extra you can think of that I havent mentioned?


This is more stressful and worrying that me finding out about myself...


What would you do?


She really isnt angry with me, and says she loves me. She doesnt blame me...


But I m at a lost on how to handle this...

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You had to find the courage to tell her and she has a good reaction.


Now I really feel a lot for you.

You say the relation is not working too well.

If it appears she has HIV too then you will both have a very difficult decision to make.....Live together or go your own ways.....if the latest then how will she cope with that?



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i worked 5 years for a mid size Thai company and we were not testing staff for HIV. i have not heard that any company do this.

there are several support groups for HIV+ persons in Thailand; ask you doctor for addresses and websites.



Thanks, Samak, thats a relief to hear that there are some support groups. And also about the testing in companies. I think she is thinking the worst case scenarios which I guess is natural. I just pray that she hasnt got it.

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JS, if you need some help this end let me know. There's a huge HIV population here, so there's lots of support around. However, i also agree with her that she may get heavily stigmatised by others. I've never heard of HIV testing for jobs.


My advice to you may not be what you agree with, but here goes. I'd stick with her. It seems it isn't working for you, but she seems ok with it, right? She seems like a very good person to me. She says she loves you. Isn't it something you could work on? I admire her for how she's handled this so far. If she's got it, then she'll need to tell her parents at some point. She'll definately need support then...............


Stick with her.


She needs to get tested asap. My hopes and prayers are with her also.

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Faustian, your advice is great...I have played with the idea of sticking with her...its not that I dislike her...I will stick with her, and I ll never lose contact, but from a practical standpoint I dont think it will work as a couple. I believe she loves me, but she is quite possesive and I need my personal freedom and space. However, I will stick with her but I m unsure of it from a couple perspective...but I will stick with her as far as support, and being close friends would be the ultimate goal


Lets hope she tests negative. Thanks for the prayers for her. Thats really compassionate...thanks a million.

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