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Your Funniest Story Mongering in LOS


TheCorinthian

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After a day of heavy drinking, a friend picked up a girl and took her for a bite to eat.

 

Back at the hotel he was feeling gaseous. It seems the seafood he had for dinner was not sitting right with him. Having already taken a Vitamin V pill and not wanting to waste his barfine, he decided to still give it a go. During sex he called an early halt to the BJ portion of the program so as not to accidentally fart near his girl's face.

 

He mounted her from behind, doggie style but the urge to pass wind became greater. He didn't want to stop and figured he could let out a little squeaker while in the act.

 

He released the grip on his sphincter muscles to let the wind pass, when a stream of diarrhea exploded on the bed behind him, with the backsplash landing on his girls foot :surprised::doah:

 

I guess this may or may not be funny depending if the shoe (or shit) was on the other foot.

 

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I don't post often but here goes: before my first trip to LOS I made a challenge to myself to get laid the first night. I know..easy thing to do...if you know the ropes, which I didn't. Anyway, I was there on business and wasn't anywhere close to the usual P4P areas. I arrived about 11:00 at night and then on to the hotel. Went down to the hotel bar and there were several beautiful girls sitting around in the place. I asked the bartender about how much to take to room and he says...no, not room girls...only take care of you in bar...as in talking, keeping you comapny etc. So, after not getting anywhere with the bartender about how to get a girl to my room I accepted defeat and started off to my room (was really late..probably 2 AM).

 

I get into the lift and the night security guy slips in with me and I am thinking Oh great, I asked the wrong question to the wrong guy and now I'm gonna get the 3rd degree! Well, the guy whips out pictures of 3 girls with their prices on the back. I say what if I don't like girl you bring. He says I bring two and you choose.

 

About 15 minutes later I am looking down the hall out my door peep hole and here he comes with two nice girls in tow. I chose one and proceeded to shag the hell out of her..so much so she couldn't complete the "long time" requirements in the morning and I ended up getting a rebate in the morning after threatening the security guy that I would talk with the manager about paying long time and only getting what amounted to short time (1 shag). Since he was running a business under the table..he wasn't about to argue too much.

 

It's much funnier when told in person but wow, what a first night in LOS!

 

U2B

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1.

I was passing by the Grace last fall and looked at a girl that I thought I might be interested in. When I motioned for her to come over, I didn't really like what I saw close up. I then decided to make and excuse and said "Sorry, I thought you were my friend, Som".

 

She looked quiet for a second and then perked up and said "Yes, Yes, I am Som!"

2.

Another running joke we have between me and a friend of mine is is to give major props to a Papasan at Posieden. We first started with tips everytime he recommended someone. Nowadays, we try to outdo each other by showering him with expensive gifts (ok, gifts that look expensive). I kid you not, last time we got him a Sony Digital Camera.

 

We have also elevated him to a "father-like" status every time we see him. We get our pictures taken with him and greet him better than our own flesh and blood. It's kind of our own running joke.

 

3.

I decided to be really smart this last time I went and decided to buy a bottle of Sang-Som instead of buying my own drinks and lady drinks. Big mistake. First, the girls still want seperate lady drinks. Second, I ended up drinking a good portion of the bottle myself, and lost my voice for over a week. Sang-Som? Never again.

 

4.

A few years ago, I took in soo many short trips in and out of Thailand (like 3 trips every 4 days and half a dozen stamps in my passport) that on one occasion, the Immigration officer looked at the passport and at me. "I remember you" he grinned. He stamped on the exact same page as his previous stamp and signature. We both had a good chuckle and I was on my way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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