Could You Have a Kid Out there?

[bust]

And this is where it gets so tricky. For starters nobody can ever predict what kind of parent anyone will be. And secondly there are some very poor parents out there from high social standards.

[Julian2]

For every man out there who is paying through the nose for a kid he sired I'd predict there are a thousand who aren't.

Some just don't have the money, others are too hard to find.

 

Giving the woman the option of an abortion or no father for her child is just too one sided in my book, it's like plead guilty and we'll cut the sentence in half.

 

Child maintenance is just that, it's to support the child and both man and woman made it and both should support it, regardless of who was wrong or stupid or drunk at conception.

 

Also, in most Western countries the father's maintenance reduces the child welfare payments, which we all pay for. So the root rat walks away and we pay for his kid... unless we make a government that can force her to have an abortion. Boy, wouldn't that be great.

[CTO]

I'm amazed people don't under stand accidents happen. Pre seminal fluid, condom's break. Withdrawal method is not perfect bust, people not planning too end up pregnant. The causes are various. The results the same, the correct and responsible behaviour varies case to case and can't be known.

[Central Scrutinizer]

I think most do understand that accidents happen. But if it does happen should you have to pay for it for the next 20 years if the woman decides she wants to have a kid you don't want to have nor pay to raise for decades?

 

Okay, a scenario. You have a few drinks at a place and meet a woman. You end up in bed with her, either your protection does not work (an accident), or you are drunk and foolish and use none (both of you). Now she comes to you preggers, and says she wants to have the child and wants you to pay support for her to do so. Shouldn't you have a say in this financial burden that you'll have for the next 20 years? You barely know the woman, but according to what some here say, and the courts, and many women, you are responsible for this. Fuck that. Why is it just the woman's choice?

[Flashermac]

I'm not saying she shouldn't have the choice, but getting the guy to pay for it is what makes it unfair. He can't force her to have it. Why should she be able to force him to pay? At most the guy should be liable for 50% of the costs of raising the child.

 

 

[Julian2]

Dunno, I doubt many absentee fathers in the Western world would come up with half the cost of kiddy raising. We all know of some that do, or more, but remember the ones who pay in Asia do so voluntarily and therefore aren't included in this discussion.

What we are talking about is a situation where the woman

i) Has an abortion and doesn't get child support.

-or

ii) Doesn't have an abortion and doesn't get child support.

Nice deal for guys that think that men aren't responsible for babies.

I think the last society to hold that belief were the Arunta Aborigines in Central Australia.

[CTO]

Cent - one of my ex's got pregnant - keen triathlete so her "periods" where very irregular. She ended up working far north india on a project and couldn't work out her problem of a growing belly - by the time she got a scan a week later she was too far pregnant to abort.

 

Poor bloke from a one night stand fainted when he heard - but no choice not to bring the child into the world.

 

He stood up and does his bit though.

[cavanami]

One ship I was on, we spent time in Indonesia and three of the crew were banging some ladies there. All the ladies gave birth and the three crew members ran away! Sad situation.

[buddha]

Back to the constitutionality of what I posted [and this by the way ONLY applies to the laws and lawmakers in america]...

 

The pro lifers are using this logic to ban abortion. The woman has a choice, the man does not so remove the womans choice to abort and then the current child support laws are no longer unconstitutional. This being said it means that there is in fact a legal faction that feels current child support legislation is very unfair. By saying this 'squares things up' I wasn't being flip, I was referring to the fact that both parties would have zero choice on whether or not to keep the baby.

 

I am of course pro choice I just found KS' assertion to be pertinent to some reading I have done on the topic. This subject hits very close to home with me and affects my everyday life.

[dave32]

Impossible topic to resolve. Bleh.

 

Personally, I like the model of the immigrant families in my neighborhood where they have large extended families caring for the kids. This is done because they're poor and pool their resources, but as a result the kids have more influences and better care.

 

The whole Western 'nuclear family' concept can get a bit neurotic. Especially when you have two angry, bitter people against each other as the parents.

 

And guys involved in a one-night stand who are against having children should have some responsibility initially, but paying for someone you never even see for 18 years+? I don't know. God I'm lucky. If I did have kids I would either be involved, or I wouldn't -- but I wouldn't welcome shelling out a third of my salary for 2 decades for someone I had no connection with. That's tough.