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Could You Have a Kid Out there?


Julian2

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Around 25 years ago and long before I had set foot on Thai soil, I had a friend who worked with someone who I was told had a Thai girlfriend with whom he had had a child.

 

I was young, naive and though even then I had heard about working girls, I didn't connect them to being mothers of children. I suppose I saw it as mutually exclusive.

 

I remember feeling bad that he didn't send her any money and had just about dumped her. I guessed years later that he was probably one of the Pattaya lads who got more involved than he wanted and eventually shirked his responsibilities.

 

In Pattaya, I know one luk kreung guy, about 25 or so, who makes his living but doesn't know who his father is and does have some resentment. I gather this is because he has to work as a normal Thai and all his life other 100% Thais have assumed he has some backing and I guess it was hard for him not being able to fit their expectation.

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...... I also hate women who deliberately get pregnant and then try to force the guy into marriage

 

That happened to me three times in the West. Lovely gals who I cared for until they knowingly forgot to take the pill. I had no intention of fathering a child and they aborted. This lead to my having a vasectomy in my mid 30's and since then I can freely seed the planet without fear.

 

I think this is far more widespread than many would guess and then, after both parties decided on the method of contraception, the guy gets saddled with a kid he doesn't want and may well resent.

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What I hate are the ones who know they have a kid and they do nothing to care for it. And I also hate women who deliberately get pregnant and then try to force the guy into marriage, will not even think about getting an abortion, and are totally unreasonable about the amount of child support required to raise the child. Seen both often enough and think it sucks.

 

I agree that if they have a kid and just leave then they are scum but in Thailand, how many are blackmailed in one way or another by the woman, who is using the baby merely as a bargaining chip ?

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"The big difference, of course, is that the woman is the one who has to go through the abortion procedure."

 

Excuse me, but that is horseshit.

 

Excuse me too, but the woman is the one who has to go through the procedure and I believe that is important, even if you don't. The idea of a woman being strapped down and the fetus aborted is not a pleasant one and should be avoided if possible. A side note--it seems forced abortions actually happen in China (a quick google seems to confirm this).

 

Having said that, I believe your main point here is that the current laws are unfair to men--I'm not that familiar with the laws, but from what I've seen I'm inclined to agree with most of what you and others have said--including that if the man doesn't want the child and the woman still chooses to have it, it changes the playing field.

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On the other hand, I knew a Peace Corps vol who served in Chonburi in the late 1970s. He had a BG living with him for a while, and she got pregnant. The gal gave birth to a daughter and was just going to dump the kid in an orphanage. To his credit, the guy was having none of that. He got legal custody of her and brought her back to the States with him. He was determined his daughter wasn't going to end up in any brothel - and in high demand because she was half-Farang.

 

There are some good guys around. Unfortunately, the scumbags often seem to outnumber them.

 

 

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i let other people worry about abortion rights. I don't feel like it's a decision there's enough information on to warrant me trying to force my opinion on to other people.

 

As for whether i feel it's unfair that I wouldn't have any say in the matter if I accidentally knocked up my lil Khmer girl, well, I don't think I should have any say in it. I wouldn't actively choose to abort anyway, and wouldn't want to force her to have the baby if she didn't want to.

 

Honestly, It's a scary proposition, hopefully one that I'll get to look back on in humor and not regret, but I do have the choice in the matter.. i'm the only one with contact details, and so If i wanted to be blissfully ignorant I could leave all of it to her.

 

I just don't think it's the right decision.

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