Guest Posted October 6, 2002 Report Share Posted October 6, 2002 Over the years I have known a number of farangs that for various reasons: visa difficulties, expense, work schedule, or whatever, find it necessary to go away leaving their sweethearts behind for a couple of weeks to a few months at a time. I on several occasions have done the same myself. I figure the girls left behind in LOS fall into two different groups: 1. Those that screw around and get caught. 2. Those that don't get caught. (OK, for those of you who are a bit insecure there are a few that might fall into a third group: don't screw around, but would given the right circumstances.). I'm not being cynical, just realistic. My wife probably falls into the second group but if I had pursued my suspicions in the past she would likely be in the first group. I personally find unconfirmed suspicions to be far more tolerable than the heartache caused by confirmed suspicions when it comes to screwing around. So my wife might have played around some, I certainly have given her plenty of opportunity over all the years with my absences. As we live in a village any fooling around she would do would likely be with a local guy. As we see more and more people in our area infected with AIDS this has become somewhat of a fear of mine, she contracts HIV which would be tragic then shares it with me compounding the tragedy. A couple in their thirties living next door both have AIDS, each blame the other, neither is sure who brought the infection home because apparently they both had been with other partners. As the subject seems to come up more frequently I have suggested to my wife, in so many words (carefully chosen), that if she were to have sex with someone else to be sure and use a condom. A little tricky to convey the message without her assuming I was giving her my approval to fool around. Just something that has been on my mind recently, I really didn't worry about this until the past couple of years.... bahnawk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted October 6, 2002 Report Share Posted October 6, 2002 Personally, I would find it difficult to stay in a relationship where I didn't trust the person not to screw around. Sure it can happen unbeknonst to anyone. But as you said, with HIV and other deseases about, I would be very fearful if I thought there was a reasonably good chance she would be screwing around. Especially in an area with a amount high AIDS. Even with out the deseases, there is the trust issue. GF, is a different issue. Wtih some women, Thai or othefwise, until you produce a ring and get married, they may feel that its only fair to pursue their 2nd option, another guy, and have him on standby if you do not commit. Wives are a different issue altogether. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 6, 2002 Report Share Posted October 6, 2002 I agree.. If I was not totally trusting of someone i would not marry them. I hope that the women would be the same for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 6, 2002 Report Share Posted October 6, 2002 I think you follow the pragmatic track.Have seen lots of times the married girl of a guy fooling around in his back But in real life,denial seems to be at least as popular as football Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 7, 2002 Report Share Posted October 7, 2002 you gotta be kiddin'! the whole village is shitscared of me, and i guess the main reason is that i can stand the vicious temper of my missus. poor bloke who tries to make a move on my missus. honestly, i guess it's just human nature to be afraid that your wife screws around, i am as sure as any guy in a good long term relationship can be that she don't, which basically means, i would be more than surprised if she would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plainsdrifter Posted October 7, 2002 Report Share Posted October 7, 2002 This post got me to thinking............. Personally my gf is in BKK now with me being away for one month and no prospect of getting back for at least 2-3 weeks. She has reported to me that thai men in our apartment building are trying to bed her, that she accepted an invitation to go dancing in RCA with two of her gfs and was propositioned by at least one man but she lost her temper and cursed one man out. Does that mean she is just being honest with what happened or is she telling me to see my reaction? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 7, 2002 Report Share Posted October 7, 2002 Your girlfriend sounds exactly the same as mine. (Shit!! maybe it is the same!?) She tells me similar stuff at least once a week and i really dont know what to think about it. She has just recently been unfaithful though and had sex with another guy (hmm was it you?), i hope things work out better for you. I dont have any expectations anymore, i have kind of resigned and try not to care to much anymore. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 7, 2002 Report Share Posted October 7, 2002 I get similar stories on an almost daily basis from my TG, and in my case believe her completely. She gets hit on CONSTANTLY, even when I am with her, which really pisses me off. That always increases the stress in the relationship, even if there is trust, because in the back of your head you are always thinking "what if i am gone a long time and she is bored, or what if she is mad at me, or whatever" ... However, I really do trust my TG 100%... at least at the current stage of our relationship there is no reason not to as she's been real up front with me... I think this is pretty common with most attractive TG because of the large number of farangs in LOS and the fact that they just don't care of a girl has a boyfriend/wife or not. My TG is even pregnant, has told me who have approached her that, and they still make a go for her! Doubt these same guys would dare do that in their home countries. I think when you get right down do it, it is all about trust and communication... and don't let yourself be made a fool if all the signs point in the wrong direction... Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 7, 2002 Report Share Posted October 7, 2002 Hmm, and you still call her girl-friend? Interesting, what many Thai girls are doing with their "boy-friends". Are any good experiences existing? The more I read in this folder, the more I doubt... I really think twice before going into a long-time relationship with a Thai girl. Imo, st-business is ok, but more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grabii Posted October 7, 2002 Report Share Posted October 7, 2002 bahnawk, "Just something that has been on my mind recently, I really didn't worry about this until the past couple of years...." Could this be another line to "you know you've been in Thailand too long when .... ? You seem to be talking about the Thai way - as long as unfaithful behavior is conducted with proper discretion, so that it's not visible to the potentially offended party, it is tolerated. In western politics (and now American business in the executive suite) we call this behavior 'maintaining plausible deniability'. Good luck, JEff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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