paulc31 Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 Hi Jasmine, I have Question for you: Would any of the educated women leave the husbands after they have landed good jobs within say 7 years living in the states :: My fear is once my G/F comes to the states and gets a better education she would leave me Thanks for the post :: Paulc31 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pescator Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 Hi Mailuk, Yes, that is what I see here too. Typically the thai wife makes less money than her husband but then again she doesn`t contribute at all to the common household and expenses except from the thai food for herself. That also means that at the end of the day the wives often have much more money to blow than their husbands who have to spend the major part on mortgages, car etc.etc. I really find it hard to believe how they can bring themselves to ignore the obligations that comes with living in a relationship in the west. Total selfishness is a word that springs to mind. I should probably add though that the persons I am talking about are typically persons with no more than 4-5 years of formal education, several are illiterate too. Cheers Hua Nguu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted January 7, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 Hi, [color:"red"] Would any of the educated women leave the husbands after they have landed good jobs within say 7 years living in the states [/color] Dear Paulc31, The question was asked many times when these American men meet a non-BG with some education. I do understand the concern and I have seen such things happened. Many Thais do many things to come to the States and, yes, many of them do just that, to be in the States and get green cards and education, if possible. A marriage is a process of growing together and sometimes needs and requirements change. To be specific about these women?s characteristics,(who do not come from so poor families), they (or may be I should use ?we?, because I do have some of these characteristics) that can be detrimental to marriages. 1. Demanding ? There are times that we are very demanding. 2. Ambitious ? Because of the zest that many of us start wanting things to prove that we are successful. 3. Confidence ? This is normally a good quality but we do become arrogant at times. 4. Success ? Many of us want to be successful on our own right and not all of us can become so in a different country, this may be a downfall that women can become very unhappy. Once, a partner is NOT happy, it creates conflict. What I have seen that breaks a marriage most is when a woman finds the husband?s ambition and hers un-matched, it is just the matter of time before the marriages are gone. Believe me, I find many Thai women have no fear of being on her own. I would talk to your GF to get it clear about what she expects for the future, good luck. Jasmine :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted January 7, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 Hi, [color:"red"] she does get a LOT of people saying her savings should be hers and in her own account..... so I am not so surprised about the money management side of things... [/color] This comes from the old belief that a husband's duties are to provide, period. It happens to most Asians. When I was told that I should keep my money, I always answer that I rather keep hubby's money because he makes more. Cheers! :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted January 7, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 Hi, [color:"red"]I really find it hard to believe how they can bring themselves to ignore the obligations that comes with living in a relationship in the west. [/color] There is another side of the coin on sharing also. Just received a phone call from a woman whom I have never met. She told me that her husband is "stingy" for he wants every expense divided 50%. She is ready to leave him as soon as she can quailify to stay here without an American husband. Sorry guys, so many bad examples. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 Hello, I married a non bar girl. I met her through a friend of mine. We had such a good relationship, I thought we would always be together. We never argued, always got along. I always did my best to help her and her family. Until I get her a part time job at a thai restaurant as a bartender. Working there she associated with every drunken loser in Vegas and of course compulsive gambler (mainly thai men). She got into gambling and drinking and drugs. She pawned about $7000.00 in gold to support her habits. This is the same girl I went to Thailand for five times and helped her and her two daughters come to america(she was in america twice and her children once). Now she does not live with me in our brand new four bedroom house. She would rather live in the middle of crackville. We have been married six months. Her wedding gift from me was a brand new car fully loaded. This girl was treated like a queen and never appreciated me. I remember taking them to Disneyland and never getting a thankyou from any of them. They came over on a fiance visa. I am in the process of canceling their petition and they will be forced to return to Thailand or face deportation. She is going to go back to thailand and face her family. She will regret this for the rest of her life. I feel like her true colors came out when she associated with Thai people. I do feel some relationships between Thai woman and Americans can work out but most are looking to come here and get their green cards in two years, they are mostly loyal to their own kind). I am a young fairly decent guy in good shape and I make a great living. This girl associates herself with out of shape drunken losers who gamble and have no money. Every situation is different so best of luck to you. kj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 Hi kjvegas , Welcome to the board. Sorry your first post had to be such a depressing one. Gotta feel for the kids, too. Are you sure she was a non bar girl? Being in America twice would raise some flags for me. Of course, I don't know her age, or the economic situation you found her in, but we do tend to hear an awful lot of these stories here.....but also, I doubt you would have posted if everything was going great, so we might get a slightly skewed view here, also, concerning the 'bad' stories. I ask, because its hard to understand your wife taking to drinking, drugs, and gambling just a few months after your marriage. Plenty of those same temptations back home for her. It could be that she is from an environment in Thailand that shielded her from these things, but I doubt. Same sins exist in most villages, as well as big cities. In some cases, even more so. On the other hand, a 'pro' would not blow the whole deal in six months, knowing she needed to be good for at least 2 years, to get green card, if that was what she was really after. With such limited info., I'd have to say that her coming into contact with other Thai's, is not the reason for her actions. Something else going on here. I must say, yours is not the usual scenario presented here. Unmarried GTG with two kids, get's the opportunity to come to US with new house, own new car, and loving husband, and then does a total 180 within a few months? Don't get me wrong...many will do a 180, but not until they have set the stage to walk away with retirement for themselves, or a better prospect. I just don't know what to tell you, other than you need to investigate a few layers deeper to find the truth. There is a HUGE part of this puzzle that you are missing. Just my gut feeling, and nothing more. Sorry I can't help more than that, without knowing details. HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limbo Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 Hi Jasmine, thanks for clearing that up. It's good to hear that the woman that's not allowed to cook at home can arrange herself in a way and it seems from what I read from you that she gets along fine. 26 yrs is a long time!! The second story is very sad indeed. That's almost too much for one lifetime. Chock dee to her. Cheers, Limbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rovineye Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 HT, I agree there may be more than meets the eye, but then again she wouldn't be the first person (of any nationality) to go off the deep end when introduced to Las Vegas! Sorry to hear the story anyway kjvegas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit_of_town_hall Posted January 8, 2003 Report Share Posted January 8, 2003 Thats bad luck, put the boot in. Incidentally if any immigrant is arrested for any drugs offence no matter how minor they will immediately be deported. Usually they are persuaded by a lawyer who is not familiar with their immigrant status to plead guilty to the minor offence. When they do they are out, if she is so verminous to treat you as she has done, f**k her up! STH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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