CTO Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 The Importance of Walking Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month. My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there. Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate. I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.' If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...... just getting over the hill. We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads That's my story and I'm sticking to it. AND Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 What's the difference between a bitch & a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party & a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 How is pussy like a grapefruit? The best ones squirt when you eat them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 What's the difference between a woman from Wigan & a walrus? One's got a moustache & smells of fish & the other lives in the sea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cavanami Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 Mr. M. Very good! Seems like the story of my life is intertwined with the jokes or maybe my life has been a joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 What do a gynaecologist & a pizza deliveryman have in common? They both get to smell the goods but neither one can eat it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted July 16, 2009 Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? She knows she's given her last blow job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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