panadolsandwich

So stop shouting and tell us a little bit about it - good street level eyewitness accounts are rare as flying unicorns at the moment. This is were after all the joking and ribald camaraderie forums such as these must shine and lead the way. I mean once you've had a chance to catch your breath of course.

I suppose we all have to wait on tenterhooks and worry what might come next. The bashing of an elderly woman on the bus, well I don't give a damn what she said! This must never, repeat fucking never happen again. What a sordid affair.

Make no mistake this is a watershed moment in Thailand's history. I'm in the heart of Isaan and I sincerely hope trouble makers don't exploit the situation. However it doesn't seem to me that it is a bed of unrest. The mood here seems - well it seems these are events in are far off country. I know that seems bizarre, but it doesn't appear to have the effect many people expected. They are not subdued or anything - just going about the their business as usual. Of course senior government people are wearing black, I was impressed by a lady that even had black thongs - perhaps a recent bereavement induced her to buy them. But she is certainly the exception. Well I certainly wish the Crown Prince the best of luck, because if one thing is sure - he's going to be needing it. Meanwhile I'm praying there is no mischievousness, because that would not be entirely unwarranted, in my opinion. RIP King Bhumibol

I've come home from work - and there she is lazing on the couch with what I could only describe as a porn magazine for women. She's been fuming for ages - it says here pointing to a page, that you have an erection of a 11 year old, and that your sexual attention span is barely more than a chicken, she asserts this pointing to some daft quiz. Furthermore, because you can't stop this train of abuse, you are not inventive enough! And with that she casts the offending rag on the floor and stalks away. I pick up the magazine and see it's written by the famous feminist. And christ isn't life hard enough already? It's in Thai, but I can read, but man I know there is a problem, but she's not even coming at it with half the solution. I'm struck with the pointlessness of it. She doesn't even understand the problem, but she's proposing solutions?

Did anyone watch it last night or was it the night before? The bullied child was brought home after a much needed therapeutic break where through extensive coaxing and let's face it bribery, she finally managed a small wan smile. I could imagine that tiny smile make Thais crowded around the telly start high fiving and punching the air and cheering mightily - at least I was.... But then she is unceremoniously confronted with her tormentor. She literally pisses her pants she is so frightened, leaving a puddle on the floor, to everyone's dismay. Now this isn't what you'd expect to see on Neighbours or Home and Away. You could just imagine the outcry. Deriving tension about how characters will react to a shit scared bullied child pissing on the floor, by whether they are more shocked by the pool on the floor, or the lack of manners, or ha! concern for the child. I'm a pragmatist at heart, and if Thais want to watch this kind of stuff (which I presume they do), then that's fine - it's certainly diverting, for a moment I forgot my own troubles while I was so concerned for that child's welfare.

And the bell rings and someone somewhere with a heart at least more spiritual than I dongs it again, and again. There is a low fog as the sun dawns, but it's got it's work to do cutting through the sleepy murkiness. The so called cold season is coming. As do the monks that pass by, alms bowls in hand. Do I throw in a handful of rice? Yes I do, and its not by virtue but by proxy, and my wife, proxies it to her mother, whom is fast becoming quite the most matronly woman in her village - of which I'm becoming strangely proud of - who would have thought it I reflect to myself - but by her actions my esteem in the village grows. Yet she has to surpass the elderly women passing by in their splendid rags and battered foot wear, on rusted motorcycle and sidecart loaded with their hard won comestibles, en route to the temple. All these garish colours amidst the dust and poverty. I wonder idly, could I divert them? Then the thought slips away. Because there is that thought that follows - where? Besides the early songbirds have arrived, so I let it go. I sip strong coffee on the veranda, the orchids have started vividly flowering purple. I'm content. On the road a motorcycle stops and my friend the policeman comes through the gate and chats a while, bad news - an elderly gentleman selling BBQ pork at the market down the road was stabbed by a drug crazed twenty year old - a complete stranger to the victim. And why? The policeman says they don't know why. It appears the victim made an light-hearted joke about the guys tattoo. But that, if you know what I mean doesn't explain why, because as I explain to the policeman, this is way too complex. And I know enough to recognise how little I know. It's not unknowable, but we just don't know yet or at least I don't know, and he doesn't know. I resist the temptation to analyse it for the moment, because what the hell makes someone violently kill another over a light hearted joke? Yes there were drugs, but I knew that couldn't be all to it - best to consign it to that part of my mind that unconsciously mulls over things like this. Well like it or not, the day is underway. A baby frog hops around, and those big wings rise on the thermals over the old temple. A bare footed child walks past. And I think - just what the hell am I doing here? And it ain't for the first time. Another day in Isaan has started and it ain't barely started yet - but I'm a loving it.

Thanks for confirming my suspicions. It's not like I'm a blithe curmudgeon - I think Thai acting is brilliant, and a high art. And okay I'm too much of a soft touch - I feel very uneasy watching children cry. I'll cry with them, but it's the unrelenting tenacity of it that I find so burdening. Give me a break, lighten it up for christ sake.

555 poosow laos as a gik top lid tipped. 555 you maybe confusing the price of the girl and the fee for sun-drys. The world has collapsed, Open your eyes, when faced with adversity, you counter strike. You hit hard and fast. If you face an ambiguous decision - well don't prevericate Sir - make the decision, and by God you'd better stick to it. If a Laos girl importunes you'd better bless yourself. Then count your blessings again. Then you'd better Goddamn think again. You Sir don't know how good you could have it! You are looking way too down. Brother, we could eat in the sunshine - the sun and the perfect weather, the beach, lobsters as big as boats. Seafood sauce, enough to drown in. Beautiful long limbed big titted Laos ladies love you too mutt. And whilst we trample on the flowers and the grass, we smash everything and mock the very nature we once forswore to adore. All that sap and seeds and broken shells, we seem to chant KFC, MacDonald, KFC, MacDonald, Pizza Hut! and we besmirch the very beauty we confess to love - what is left to do? We have to look all moosey faced. Bicker and in fight turn on each other. I sir propose another solution. Peace and tranquility. Respect for each other. Sir if it could be so, then Sir make it so.

I always considered it bad manners to not kiss a girl after I come, and engage in a little chit-chat. But perhaps I'm old fashioned.

As always Sir I remain, Now that I think about it, it has always been so, but they've made it more so. Watching beautiful young children cry on the telly is a Thai past time. I struggle to understand it myself. I mean I'd never finish a hard day's work, then settle down in front of the TV in anticipation of the next series of crying jags. I mean, wtf? Even if we propose that it is all just propaganda, I can't see how it works (but then again I could never see the invisible hand). Perhaps there is a gleeful elephant jumping around the room and we must all cry in to our tea and accept that this false reality is true, because here it is, persistent and unrelenting like a young child crying. Because ultimately you can't let a child cry forever, that is if you are a decent human being. So inject some morality in the form of some uncaring old witch, or some extremely handsome young principal guy in charge of an all girls school. Sounds preposterous, but that appears to be good Saturday night telly. When he has to talk a young girl down from a high jump, well this was clearly high drama if you forgive the pun. Intellectual or otherwise, you can't tell the difference between the two. Is there such a thing as Thai Schadenfreude? It's like an inverted and perverse ugly duckling fairy tale. It's like they're pushing the anti-intellectual agenda so hard they've become intellectual. As always Sir, I follow Thai TV with something of a duty, I soldier on. But I am and will always be incredibly susceptible to it. Thai TV entertains, and I would mourn it if I switched it off. Just keep showing more of the likes of Nong Natt is all I'm saying. Kind of like sex it up more. And perhaps tone down the hardcore snap happy crime scene footage, whilst simultaneously covering more of the culture and people. More international coverage, more sports, more DJ Soda! More Molam, more sanook turned up to 11, because I seriously think if I was the Chairman of Thai TV we would be headed that way. Because right now the News donkey is boss-eyed and he's peering down news pipeline so fixedly he's stumbled in a ditch. Sir News, RISE, I command you.

Well if you tuned in to Thai TV this week it was a ceaseless crying jag. Quite literally. Some young defenseless female children are bullied , yes bullied, then made to cry in almost every scene whilst (mostly) unsympathetic crones, too many crones, and very sympathetic and mysteriously handsome guys (whom are evidently gay), remonstrate, with what is clearly meant to be a kind of - well a gentle get in line you little git, and don't forget it! Or else you'll have to suffer our stilted overblown acting and end up like us! Not sure about you, but I'm a sucker for a crying jag. I'm there pretending like the other guy not to cry myself - but it has become out of hand. Ok sure, easy to criticise these guys, well here you go. Here's my pitch. There is a gold shop with a lot of staff. The clerk tells the cashier he's uncertain about his sexuality. The cashier with a crush tells him she will always love him no matter what. The owner of the shop comes in with Nong Natt and bickers with them for making the gold shop nothing but a low class brothel he contends. Then mercurial as always he astounds everyone by announcing the marriage with Nong Natt. A young (very cute) girl enters the shop. Nong Natt disses her. The young girl cries like a baby. The owner of the shop looks very stern - the very much exemplar of the complete bastard. He says very carefully...........

Either an empty threat, or my bet would be they already know who did it, via keylogging, trojan software, , etc. etc. A lot of script kiddies about whom really should know better. Whatever the case, it's a very stupid thing to do, and it sounds like the prosecution are busy preparing a case. . Notice they stated they had no prior history of attacking the government, which hints that they were already under surveillance, or at the very least researching it very avidly now.

What would appear to be a rather astute analysis if fraught with flaws unfortunately. Let's start with the factual 'data' that you rather presumptuously rely on: two german friends with three weeks in Pattaya. Let us be kind, and assume they are entirely honest, handsome men, with furthermore, no incentive to lie. The population of Pattaya is approximately 100, 000. You have to admit - you have hardly conducted a census with which to base some very shaky assumptions. Nevermind, let us address these errors one by one if we will. Your rather circular argument: little or no westerners, but some 'hidden' impervious activity mysterious until now, but largely owing to 'ethnic' invasion. You are aware perchance that China and India are regional countries? And not a little distance closer than say, Düsseldorf? It was rather clever of you to imply innocuously that the Westerners are being REPLACED by such as these 'Aliens'. Your self-affirming statements of stereotype used later to support fact: Package tours are most popular, Muslims congregate at the Grace Hotel, most but not all Indians or Chinese have no money, etc. Wish-wash statements like this undermine what you are trying to say. The bleeding painfully obvious - the scene will diversify - boy your research is cutting edge!!! The sullen negative attitude towards what appears to be positive change. You seem to be both against empty bars, but opposed to filling them! So we get to the most offensive part of your post - the impending horde of presumably rape-happy bachelors spilling over the border to ravish the Thai maidens. At this point I'd have to question your sanity, because you are clearly not grounded in reality if you believe this is even an inkling of a possibility. Oh well, like the Thai Miss World Committee, go back to the research labs in Düsseldorf and have a serious re-think, me-thinks. Lol.

Well when they finally resurrect Christ I want to be the first to shake him by the hand and say well done old boy.

Thanks Bust! I was racking my mind about that! Must have been that opening scene in Fear and Loathing after they've dropped that acid. But also there's this English Comedian Alexei Sayle who used to see lizards in Top hats and sing - 'well I'm pissed, I'm pissed, I'm pissed'. Funny how these things can float about in your mind like that. Or are lizards something you can only truly see when you blootered enough? In any case why do they appear so well dressed and respectable?

It's like that point when you've had a few drinks, haven't really noticed them, and it creeps up on you - suddenly you doubt your ability to stand up from the table; if you stand up too quickly you will upset the table, and if you slowly and exaggeratedly try to extricate yourself, people will stare and make comments about you. You need to take a slash. Your head is swimming and then it all makes glorious, such beautiful sense as your murky vision focuses, Here come the lizards!, Here come the lizards!!! HERE COME THE LIZARDS!!!!

Yes, but how are these lizards donning the top hat and monocle is what I want to know? It is clearly exploitation. By whom and why?

I was in Lumphini Park yesterday, that oasis of greenery in the heart of Bangkok, and was shocked to see these giant monitor lizards collared and strolling very slowly with gentlemen Thais in blazers and top hats. It appears to be something of a new Thai fad - and it's catching on exceedingly quickly. They're like really macho, clearly intimidating, provoking onlookers to look at them and their big lizard on a lead. And they really do! - they excitedly seem to say - look at me! - I took my lizard off the leash! WTF? Seemingly oblivious to the well being of their fellow park goers. The lizards intimidate the public under the bullying glare of their owners / handlers. The worst are the ones that pimp their lizards out, emblazoning them with advertising and placing caps or miniature top hats fastened with elastic on there heads. It's not unheard of to see a monitor lizard strolling down Lumphini Park in full evening dress, complete with cravat if you please! The monitor lizards can get quite big, it isn't unheard of for a monitor lizard to grow almost 18 feet long - the rich Thai owners gain great face the larger their lizard, so they will go to almost any length to grow their lizard - steriods and rat hormones to make them more aggressive are very common. It turns out Thai women really fancy a man with great command of a large lizard. A rather mediocre man can improve his chances with the ladies quite dramitically if he possesses the right lizard. You'll see Thai gentlemen rubbing lizard polish vigourously onto their lizard in the early morning hours when Lumphini Park normally sees only the very committed runners trying to beat the heat - a common but unconcious cause. This should be stamped out immediately of course, we can't allow the lizards to get out of hand. I mean if you allow the lizards in - where can you sensibly draw the line? It's the damn wrong side of bloody enough!

Okay - it's been well over six months since I looked 2016 in the eye - and demanded it have a factgasm. At the time she bent over and now she's delivered! Rather then revisit that old post - I'll do a blow by blow of what has been happening with regard to that post. And then, I'll shoot forward and predict the next six months. The Claim: 'Turkey will certainly implode in some way next year'. Outcome: TRUE. Well, as Mekong so rightly says 'Rebel, Rebel'. The latest coup attempt (ordered by whom?) is a simple fact. Turkey has imploded. We await further developments as the Russians are still sniffing about - and the Yanks are mopping the egg off their face. Don't so much watch this space, but expect the global media to make you feel so afraid you won't ever be reasonable again. The Claim: 'There will be fifty mass gun shootings in the USA'. Outcome: OVERWHELMINGLY TRUE My fault here - I hadn't looked at the figures, but it was inevitable they would increase. It's looking like it will be more like *500* . 252 at the mo. , but there's no reason to expect the generally increasing trend to be abated with inadequate gun laws. Yes USA, you're looking at over 500 mass shootings in 2016. An incredible shame. The Claim: ' Oil will drop to $20'. Outcome: TRUE The Claim: ' TRUMP POTUS'. Outcome: PENDING Well all the claims so far have become true. I feel hesitant at this point. Let me make this clear: I didn't want them to become true. I fervently hoped they wouldn't be. But they have. This does not look good for any of us. You'll see. Perhaps in another post I'll forecast the next six months...

Sir! Indeed let me preface this quite perfunctory address to such an esteem sir as your majestic self sir!. You Sir! seem to owe that indeed, you were 'deep' inside Soi 11. An occasion that I fear brings most considerable ennui to such as my good and proper self. I Sir! must remind you that my education was the morally bereft, bankrupt and inordinately Western Australian public schools where I used to as a young lad catch a kangaroo to school. So therefore, I feel I can tell you most confidently and with supreme judiciousness how to proceed. In short Sir! - it is alleged that you did most propitiously took advantage of a poor Mamasan's 600 baht per hour massage room attempting to get off scot-free for an hour the most upright and proper Mamasan had customers lining up to use. It is further alleged, that you took a most sumptuous (end of international journey) shower, that sought with almost utmost contempt to take advantage of a poor upright Mamasan! The court issues a writ, for the pursuance of a disbursement from your amazingly good self BuBi for the princely amount of 600 baht. Court issue writs.

Well, yes good point, and I applaud you on your sentiments - however I thought the topic was more about the foreign visitor aspect of things. I mean we haven't yet heard why the Air Chief Marshall decided that the stir fried clams with chili jam were off spec. from last year? That might illuminate things a bit better. Also that Top Gun theme song is stuck in my head - thanks Mekong! More to the point, my comment was in response to a direct comment from you - there was no mention of the context of native population in it. Indeed it sounded like you were whining about prices - hence my comment. 555 - you can really take to the moral high ground like the old goat that ye are me Flashy - but ya don't fool me!

There are some bar girl tigers there A ummmm mostly legitimate comment.

As any statistician will almost gloat to tell you, one empirical data point is stretching it pretty damn fine! I still chomp on food that would I would gladly pay top dollar for. The old dear at the end of my soi makes a damn fine rice and two. Jeez. It costs 5, maybe 10 baht more! I picture Flash with a broken dusty bowl and a shiny spoon - give me a break!

Thanks, it was the snail and aloe vera cream they were at handbag point about by the way. A substance I wouldn't touch with a 18 foot pole. Filed under Chinese Skepticism.

I lost my heart to Nong Nat damn it!