pattaya127 Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 I know that you have invested serious $$ in her family's welfare. ------------------------------------ the problem with her family is that her father died, and her mom is 78, an old cropped hair ancient woman. Of course, this old lady takes care of her daughter as well. So far, so good, but there are people in her family who are not the wisest people, like her brother who is getting married, let everyone know 5 days ago and has no sinsod. As I usually acknowledge about dutiful daughters, my GF put out for him, because her mom would have to borrow money and worry how to pay it back, and my GF cares too much about her welfare to let it happen. The plot, as concerns my GF and I is a lot thicker, but this has added undue stress to our relation, just as we got back together after 3 weeks separation. She told me she scolded him, and wants it back (yeah!!! I want to see that!) as last year, he had 150 000 in his name and unwisely lent it. Now, I don't care that it's part of the savings I gave her, her money is her money, it's just that I have slowly encouraged her to get her owm business, do things for herself, but the whole fucking system drags her down to that perennial role of the thai daughter/sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 of all people, I'd figure you were definitely one to marry in the village (if you'd marry off course!) ------------------------------ read my previous post, you will understand why I am afarid any sinsod from me would quickly be dispersed in the Issan wilderness. I do not mind investing some money in a business operable by my GF, or start building a house, but giving out money to an old mom, who may not be able to say no to the usual vultures around her, not sure.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Hi, A "sin sot" is not always paid. My husband never paid, grant it we got married in the USA but if my mother wanted it, she would have specified. Many parents want it for "milk price", however, not all Thai families want it. My brother paid "sin sot" for my sister-in-law though, and it was more of a show and it was all returned. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Stick, I based the percentages on second hand information from Thais. Well, who cares, it ain't important... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jingjoh Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Having read many posts over the years and spoken to many people it does appear that the ones who's new family insisted on sinsod and keeping it invariably didnt make it marriage wise.. Could it be a good sign of things to come when the family thinks of their own pockets without regard for the newlyweds own financial situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grabii Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Kansanal, Says kasansal: To Jeffreyh: Women over 28 are entitled to a sinsot depending of course on how successful she was in keeping her virginity, her social status, childless or not etc IMO a lady over 28 with children should consider herself very lucky that a foreigner is interested in her, in Thailand I'm afraid, divorced women are seen by most, as society's outcasts, sad but true, and should accept the NO DOWRY for you notion. ... Thanks for providing the additional perspective. As a point of interest: - My example lady (30 years old, university education, good professional job commensurate with her education, 1 year old child, divorced her university-sweetheart husband after he started cheating on her and took off with another woman when after several miscarriages she was successfully pregnant) confirms the "society outcast" role you mention. I don't think she considers herself to be an outcast, but she did say it was a difficult and painful decision to divorce her husband because of the dissapointment and dishonor divorce would bring to her family. - I don't see any reason why a foreigner in his 30s (or 40s) wouldn't be interested in a woman such as I just described. She displayed a good sense of self-esteem and self-worth in divorcing her philandering husband under the circumstances. If she should consider herself lucky that a foreigner would be interested in her, it's only because the number of foreign men available to know she exists is somewhat limited in northern Thailand. If I was considerably younger, I'd consider her to be a great find. - We foreign men should be greatful that Thai men shun such a woman, and that such women often shun Thai men after enduring such shabby treatment. Regards, JEff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grabii Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Kasansal, Says kasansal: I based the percentages on second hand information from Thais. Well, who cares, it ain't important... Not important? On what did you base your discussion of what a sinsot should be? I believe you said it was information from Thais. (Remember, you are responsible for your own credibility.) Nevertheless, I do believe that the sinsot information makes more sense than the population information. Regards, JEff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanukdee Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 <<I based the percentages on second hand information from Thais. Well, who cares, it ain't important... >> I think your Sin Soot figures are second hand information too and, only one Thai guys biased opinion, at that. BTW interesting enough i have read (from a reliable source!?!) that Thailand has slightly more males then females in that important 20-34 year old age group. http://www.geocities.com/doxyblue/pop1.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Hi, I am 98% sure that it is NOT Buddhist, it is more of Thai tradition. At one time the "sin sot" was meant to secure the daughter's future for the daughter normally keeps it. This is in my book and the way the Thai people I know think. However, many other Thais think that the way to pay the daughter's parents back for raising her. If you put it as such, Univ. educated, never been married, that was me. So it sounds like I could have fetched a couple millions Baht Ney, I have much more than that just to be with him. Well, I missed my chance, woe me Really I was such a radical, I did not even think about it. I knew a couple Thai people who came from well-to-do families and educated who decided to marry quitetly and no "sin sot". Many educated ones I know are going that way. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Stick are you thinking about getting married? I DO remember (and forgive me if I am wrong) that you said "that is why I could never marry a Thai woman". If aformentioned is true then wow what a difference a few years in the LOS makes! LOL Am I having a go? You bet! Remeber it is just one mans opinion! Oneye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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