Torneyboy Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 No . I got married in bkk in october and no dowry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Hi, No offence, but I think this list of prices is highly debatable. There are a lot more factors that need to be considered than just her education, age and virginity. Some I can think of off-hand: - her family background - your background - your financial (or perceived financial) situation - previous amounts paid to relatives / friends - is this just show money or will it be kept - etc. Sanuk! PS "virgin bargirl" ? Do these exist PPS Just noticed you did have a disclaimer towards the end of the post about validity of the prices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Not really replying to your post here KS. A dowry, or SinSod in Thai, is really about face. It (money and gold) is displayed for all to see, and shows if the daughter has married well (or not). For the parents of a previous unmarried girl (IMO being a virgin or not is not that significant) the larger the dowry, the more face they will receive. It's important to discuss beforehand with the parents what to do with the dowry after the marriage. there are several options. Poorer parents may wish to keep some or all of it, whereas richer families may return all or use it as part of payment of a substantial wedding gift (house, condo, car etc). I don't think a dowry is necessary for a girl who was married before (either legally or otherwise), or one who has children from a previous relationship. Still even then a dowry (which should be returned in full) gives face to the parents (and yourself). As far as I know, the cost of the actual wedding party is borne by the parents of the bride. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khwaimaisabai Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Says khunsanuk: PS "virgin bargirl" ? Do these exist Hi KS, Of course they exist! I have been told many times by girls I have met in the bars that they are virgins. You don't think they were lying to me, do you? Khwai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 No dowry but we send my wife's family a nominal sum every month. Early on on the relationship I made it clear that we don't 'buy' wives where I come from and as I would be supporting her for (hopefully) the rest of our lives, the family would have to accept that. They did - no problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 even if you help the family on a regular basis, a dowry is appropriate to give the parents face. This is still very common outside Bangkok. Modern families in Bangkok may not put much value in a dowry to gain face. For them large / expensive wedding parties at a well known hotel is more important to gain face. However, the fact that you do help on a regular basis is a good argument to ask for a return of the dowry after the marriage. a dowry can vary from as little as 20K to millions in money and gold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 I recently went to my wifes cousins wedding....He married a TG and the dowry paid by his father was kept (all of it) by the mother of the bride...... From some peoples (all Thai) perspective this was seen as the WRONG thing to do as it should have been returned to the bride and groom and I guess it will not help "cross-family" relations. SB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limbo Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Hi Stick, as mentioned before, each situation is different, so here we go with mine. I didn't pay a dowry, since my wife was married before (for Budda, not legally). When we married legally in BKK (we live in the south) we didn't have a party neither. A few friends of mine who did the same thing, didn't pay dowrys neither. Cheers, Limbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickman Posted January 21, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 One of the reasosn I posted the original post was at the frustration I was feeling from making inquiries with Thais on this subject. One Thai I asked said that 100,000 baht or less is for a country girl with virtually no education and who has shagged half the village.... Another Thai told me that 200,000 baht for an educated city woman who is still a virgin would be about right. Hmmm, who to believe? - hence the post here. Stick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stickman Posted January 21, 2003 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Ok, so my next question on the subject may be a bit controversial, but I am genuinely curious... If the lady in question is a virgin, does this increase the price of the dowry and conversely, if she has slept around a bit, does this lower the price? (I can just imagine it at the meeting with family when some hard nosed negotiator says "well, she did sleep with x number of guys so I want a discount!") So, is virginity a factor in setting the price of the dowry? Stick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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