Guest Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Here is an interesting post from Nattawud's site. He has gotten his girlfriend pregnant, and plans on getting married. He chronicals his life almost weekly (He is a Thai teenager). It shows what is happening in a Thai/Thai relationship, and the dowry negotiations seem to be in full play (let's hope he can negotiate ) The rest of his posts are very interesting also, because the views are coming from a Thai male. Not a view we hear much, around here. http://www.gorsworld.com/weddingplans_story.htm HT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walletss Posted January 21, 2003 Report Share Posted January 21, 2003 Stick I have had this discussion with some Thai women and it seems that about half of them believe that a a dowry is an integral part of Thai tradition According to many of them the amount is not of prime concern but just symbolic. I can tell you this though. If the woman has siblings or parents that need money she will be expected to help out. That means the guy she marries must be prepared to cough up whether its through a dowry or monthly payments Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2003 Report Share Posted January 22, 2003 Says walletss: Stick I have had this discussion with some Thai women and it seems that about half of them believe that a a dowry is an integral part of Thai tradition According to many of them the amount is not of prime concern but just symbolic. I can tell you this though. If the woman has siblings or parents that need money she will be expected to help out. That means the guy she marries must be prepared to cough up whether its through a dowry or monthly payments I am going through this with my gf right now, and we have agreed that no dowry will be paid, other than a symbolic one, but since she already helps out her Mother financially herself, we will continue to do that together, hopefully that will be only relative we have to support, but then again, this is LOS :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted January 22, 2003 Report Share Posted January 22, 2003 I think this dowery thing is really a philosophical difference that falangs have a hard time accepting. In the ideal situation, the dowery or most of it shall be returned to the husband or goes to the wife in the name of the marriage. This is based on when the families are generally equal in status and wealth. A falang marrying a girl from a poor family really causes problems as it upsets the apple cart. There is that tendency for greed now to creep into the picture and what happens is it gets away from the whole original intention of the dowery, making an offer to secure the security and financial future (maybe even symbolically) of the marriage and NOT the wife's family's welfare. Large amounts of money going directly to the family and not return to the wife/husband is no longer in the name of the dowery. It has taken on a different meaning..... But then again, even at a million baht dowery, are we really talking big money? All one can get in america would be a good used volvo for that. It is like saying that the husband is buying a car for the wife. We never put that topic under the third degree but at least they are getting a car out of it. For the dowery that goes to the family and NOT returned, what is he or the couple getting out of it? Is she going to be more loyal and faithful to him for it? is the wife compromising her own value system and knowledge/understanding of the dowery to appease her family (when the dowery is NOT return to her of her husband)? Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2003 Report Share Posted January 22, 2003 "an integral part of Thai tradition..." I'm no expert and may be away off base here, but I seem to remember hearing sometime ago that sinsot is not a Thai tradition at all. Rather, it was borrowed fairly recently (i.e. within the last 100 years) from the Chinese immigrants who flocked here around the turn of the 20th century. Anyone have more informed input on this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limbo Posted January 22, 2003 Report Share Posted January 22, 2003 Stick, although I didn't pay a dowry, I did pay for our house. Cheers, Limbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plainsdrifter Posted January 22, 2003 Report Share Posted January 22, 2003 25 baht of gold is about 175,000 baht. or about USD4,200. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidsanuk Posted January 22, 2003 Report Share Posted January 22, 2003 Getting married later this year and have posted lots on the topic myself. I'm into the whole cultural thing and appreciate the need to follow cultural norms. We have agreed 200,000 which Mum will keep. They are not well off. FYI my fiance is NBG, graduate, early 30s and first hand so to speak.....well she was before I got to her :-) Sid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2003 Report Share Posted January 22, 2003 To jefreyh, Ok, ok I was wrong posting second hand information, but I tell you this, the person who told me or rather the persons, are all educated Thais/colleagues at the Swiss pharmaceutical company I work for... but I was fairly close with those figures on dowry, or? One more thing, I totally agree with your view that there are very decent divorced women in their thirties and forties with kids, worth marrying. What I object to is, not that it has happened in your case, but that some foreign or Thai males are obliged to pay dowry to the woman's family even though they have already recieved it years ago prior to her getting married for the FIRST TIME. Could this be described as greed? And yes, I would pay less or at least negotiate the price of the the lady, if she has slept around a little, IN MY PERSONAL OPINION NOT MY THAI COLEAGUES'!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbaron Posted January 22, 2003 Report Share Posted January 22, 2003 Thanks Jas, somehow I knew you'd be a bit of a rebel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.