Advice on relationship

[AF16]

I posted this at another BB, and got the advice to post it here. I?m not sure why this is a suitable BB, but I?ll give it a try.

 

http://forums.delphiforums.com/ThaiFalang/messages/?msg=816

 

Copy first post:

 

Background.

 

I met this Thai lady in my home country and we sort of hit it off. I learned that she was here visiting her mother, and had a three month visa. She invited me to stay with her in Thailand for my vacation, and she would return here after three months for another period.

 

After a while I learned that she had some problems at home. She had been caught with some friends in a car with Ecstasy (she very seldom uses it), and one of the ones in the car took the blame. The rest of the friends have to help him by paying for a lawyer. They want to do it, but also they have to or they might be dragged into the mess.

 

(of topic question: what is the punishment for this?)

 

Then I learned that in order to help this friend she was working in Norway as a prostitute raisng cash for a lawyer, but that she did not work as that in Bangkok.

 

By this time I was hopelessly in love with her, and did not care what she had done. I asked her to one day marry me, and she said that she might when we got to know each other better, and she could speak English better.

 

Everything was good.

 

Then suddenly after one of the best weekends of my life, she sent me a message that she could not have a boyfriend in Norway. She had to work, and could not see me anymore. Not while she was working. When she goes to Thailand where she will not work as a prostitute I could see her. She did not need more problems (boyfriend) to think about as she had to lie to her ?madam? in order to get out and see me. I?m devastated, and have tried to get her to tell me what her problem is. I want to help her in any way I can, but she say she wants to deal with it her self. She will not accept money from me, she will earn it her self she say. She refuses to even mention what her problem is.

 

I think all kind of things right now, including she being set up by professional pimps, that will never let her earn enough money to get out of the work. Not until she is old and does not bring in money anymore.

 

I do not need advice about dumping her. I can not do that. I?ll do anything to make her happy, even if it means that she will leave me. You know? I can not stand seeing her unhappy.

 

Question: As language is a barrier, and every time I try to talk about this she becomes sad and a little angry, I was wondering about giving her my thoughts in writing. Perhaps someone her could translate for me? Could anyone here do that? It must be someone fluid as I can not risk saying the wrong thing.

 

I?m not sure it?s a good idea though, as she might be mad that I do not stop asking about what trouble she is in. She has made it clear that she will not tell me.

 

I know she likes me, and that once her problem is out of the way, and I hope they can be taken care of, she will consider marrying me.

 

 

[Guest]

Hello AF16,

 

first I have to say that I am still a newbie, so others may give you better advice

I?m not sure it?s a good idea though, as she might be mad that I do not stop asking about what trouble she is in. She has made it clear that she will not tell me.

---

Hmm, you shouldn't press her. Just tell her that you want to help her, that she can ask you whenever she needs help. But don't ask her anymore about her problems.

 

How long do you know her?

 

You could wait till she goes back to thailand and visit her in thailand. This way you could stay together and know each other better. (It seems to me that she doesnt trust you yet.)

 

I know she likes me

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How do you know this?

 

Not until she is old and does not bring in money anymore.

---

What is the time scale? Did she tell you how long she plans to work as a prostitute?

 

she being set up by professional pimps

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Do you know where she works? Did you visit the place?

 

I have the impression that you don't know a lot of her.

 

What about you? Could you love a prostitute? Are you ready to help her even when she just wants your money?

 

Best regards

 

 

[Guest]

Hello again,

 

I have read your posts in the other forum. And I have a question of topic:

She is a Buddhist, and I was one once. I?m now Atheist but enjoy Buddhist philosophy

---

What is the difference between being atheist or being buddhist? (You can consider this question as a stupid one, but maybe there is more behind this question )

 

Best regards

[Guest]

I am quoting you from the other forum:

She is eager to get me to Thailand though, and in July. She goes in June and returns in August. I stay for two weeks. What use could she have of me there, except my company? I don?t understand that.

---

 

Hmm, maybe she wants to use you as a drug courier? She could easily earn 10'000 - 20'000 $ this way. And no risk for her

 

Just an idea

 

 

[check_bin_krap]

Sorry man, you are being had. The guys who organize this stuff here in Norway bring over pros. The would not invest in taking over a girl who is new to the scene, she might have second thoughts. Its a huge turnover in clients every day, and not for inexperienced ones.

 

The story you have been served is a con job if I ever saw one. Its designed to relieve you of your money when you are nice and ready, probably in Thailand. You are not the only one who has been given this story.

 

I don't expect you to listen to this now, but you might recall this when the moment comes that you are expected to pay up.

 

Cheers and good luck.

[Redbaron]

That deafening noise is alarm bells ringing, please make them stop.

[AF16]

I have decided now. What is the worst that could happen? I give her some money and in the mean time I have a great time, with the opportunity for something invaluable. In July I will see her again, when I go to Thailand. We will be friends for now.

[Guest]

>>>What is the worst that could happen? I give her some money and in the mean time I have a great time, with the opportunity for something invaluable. <<<

 

 

there are much worse things that could happen. but if you can't see that, no one will be able to help you.

for a good con you need a fool to fall for it. and from what i have read here, that is going to be one motherfucker of a con.

well, experience makes you only wiser...if you survive it.

[kamui]

Says AF16:

---

I have decided now. What is the worst that could happen? I give her some money and in the mean time I have a great time, with the opportunity for something invaluable. In July I will see her again, when I go to Thailand. We will be friends for now.

---

 

A prostitute, who lied to you about her profession in the beginning, who is involved in drugs (taking it and presumably dealing with). You give her money, but she does not want to meet you anymore in your home country. I am wondering what else she is hiding from you (a Norwegian husband/pimp maybe, a Thai husband/boyfriend in jail? Or something more serious?)? It seems that she informs you about her life only in small packages to keep you hooked. And are you sure that she is really working to pay a lawyer? Why should she do this for a "friend"? Maybe this is bullshit to hide her hidden aganda on you.:: :: ::

 

I am not the right person to give you any advice, but I urge you to take Flys and the replies of the others very serious; and to do some search on the board about BGs and drugs. If she still takes drugs while she is with you, you could be in deep shit. Have you not heard about the ongoing crackdown on drugs in Thailand and the way the Thais deal with it?

 

You are talking about money, but how about the emotional side of the relationship, if you find out she is scamming you big time and only uses you as a ATM to pay for her lover and/or drugs?

 

There is some time left until July, take your time to read and learn in case you want to stay involved with her to be prepared for what could wait for you in Thailand. As I said, I am not the person to give you more advice, but you only need to use common sense to see that the future will reveal some very unpleasant surprises for you. ::

 

[AF16]

You are talking about money, but how about emotional side of the relationship, if you find out she is scamming you big time and only uses you as a ATM to pay for her lover and/or drugs?

---

 

She has already broken my heart :/ Now there is only the opportunity to mend it left. I got to try this. I tried to do it your way (re other bb), and it only ended up hurting her for what might be no reason at all. If it goes badly I will be in the same position as before regarding the state of my heart.

 

She wants me to be her friend for now, when promising more would yield better result if she was who you guys claim she is. She is very honest where honesty does not help her.

 

I notice what you guys write about drugs, and I will take care. She use it very seldom she says, and does not ?need? to use it for the 14 days I will stay. I will mention this for her, so that it will not land me in some really serious trouble.

 

I think that the way I have portrayed her might misrepresent who she really is, although factual in nature.

 

Again, she could take more of my money if she wanted to, but she chooses not to.