Advice on relationship

[Guest]

Your problem is principally the following:

 

1) You don't know if you can trust her!

2) Given her background the probability that you cannot trust her might be higher.

3) You don't know her world, so you have no idea what the tricks are.

4) You could loose a lot of money, have problems with the police, marry her and divorce, etc...

 

Your only advantage is: She doesn't know you yet (at least I hope so). So my advice for you is (if you really want to take risks):

 

Play the stupid, naiv farang which can easily be scammed. You should make it as easy as possible for her to cheat on you. Because your only chance is that she will make a mistake before it is too late.

 

I might give you some examples:

 

1) Don't tell her not to take drugs when you will visit her. She knows allready that you don't like her taking drugs, so if she cares about you she won't take any. (or she is a real addicted)

 

2) When she is lying, don't show her that you know it. She must think that you will believe her any lie.

 

3) Don't press her to answer your questions. If she loves you she will answer them at some time.

 

The drawback of this strategy is of course that she might think that you don't care about her, because you don't fight with her.....

 

Best regards

 

[kamui]

Postscriptum:

 

take a look at threads started by Akarr, like: I found a letter, Its over e. g.

 

and two more threads which might be of interest for you:

 

Long distance relations

 

What is a good BG

 

a higly recommended book here on the board:

Stephen Leather: Private Dancer is available as free PDF

[AF16]

Kamu, I read some of it and frankly much of it is disgusting. This is not my world. The last page of Private Dancer ?

 

I?m sorry that I ever posted this.

 

It might be the truth but I don?t really want to know all this. I don?t want to become so jaded.

 

I visit her on the beach, she will take me away from the ?bad places?, I will have a good time and I will try to make her want to live with me.

 

I am scared of being trapped by dishonest cops etc, and will take care but I will not loose all hope.

 

Naiv, Yes it?s a problem that I can not really trust her, and it?s not a feeling I like to have. Trust is important, and disbelieving what she say make me feel bad.

 

[check_bin_krap]

"She has already broken my heart :/ Now there is only the opportunity to mend it left. I got to try this. I tried to do it your way (re other bb), and it only ended up hurting her for what might be no reason at all. If it goes badly I will be in the same position as before regarding the state of my heart."

.............................................................

Christ AF16, you are talking about a girl who you can hardly communicate with. You said before you were sure she "liked" you. What kind of foundation is this for a relationship?

 

Would you have had this approach with a Norwegian gal? Show her that you are a nice, good guy and willing to do whatever to make her love you?? Wake up, you already know that this girl does not love you.

 

Snap out of this and start to examine WHY you are behaving like this. You are no teenager so stop this teenager idolizing of a girl. Work on your self esteem and realize that you can get a girl who does love you.

 

You are saying that she could take "MORE" of your money if she wanted to. I fear you are being lined up for a big hit, this is a well known scam strategy. Wait until the victim feels he has known the girl long enough to really open his wallet.

 

I would recommend you to read the threads Kamui pointed out (Akarrs also)! All has been said there.

 

Good luck, you need it.

[AF16]

I don?t want to discuss this anymore. I know what I do is wrong. I'll play the hand I'm dealt and deal with the consequenses.

 

She has cooled down towards me, but I?m sure she still likes me. You are from Norway, do you know the girls working here?

[AF16]

After the Thailand trip, I know what I want to know and will decide to end it or to try to make it work. Probably she has already made the decision for me by now. I think the trip will be good, and that I will not see her again after the trip. I know this. I will try to make her move in with me though.

 

I know this is not true love yet, it can not be after such a short time and not knowing her that well yet, what I want is for her to live with me so we can find out. It?s more of a strong infatuation with hope for so much more.

 

[check_bin_krap]

"You are from Norway, do you know the girls working here? "

...................................................................

I have met some of the ones who live here and work on the game, through the Thai community.

 

I don't mix in those circles these days, as it was from my married days.

 

Please don't get the impression that all Thai girls who live here are involved in that stuff, its enough girls who live a decent life.

 

Cheers!

[AF16]

Ok, it?s final. She wrote me and told me that she lied to customers. She thought I was a good man though, so she would not lie to me. She wanted me to find a ?good girl? and start a family with. She did not think I would fall in love with her, now that I am she come clean to spare my feelings apparently.

 

I told you she was honest [/bitter]

 

I said I wanted to talk to her face to face, in order to try to convince her to stay with me. I know I could make her happy. She is not a bad girl.

 

She was tired and wanted to go to bed, and she would call me tomorrow. I don?t think she will though. This was the end.

 

[cardinalblue]

The short of it is you are being completely dupedd She is bad news. She herself even starts to lose track from one lie to the next.

 

I used to feel sorry for guys like you but now you just have to learn. There is a point where one day you will wake up and realize she is no good 100%. I promise you that...

 

If you are taking by her apparant sweetness, charm, mannerisms, physical looks, the way she pretends to behave and act, then you have fallen for why so many guys like thai women. Nothing wrong wth that.

 

Just relaize there are many of these women like her where it is a show and all for money. That is the bad news. The good news is there are many thai women who are genuine and sincere in their image/self of why we like them so much.

 

The key to this is being able to distinguish between these two types of people. A lot of experience and luck iare needed to eventually find what you are looking for. In the mean- time, you must manuever around the landmines. Some guys will not make it, others are seroiusly or slightly damaged, and others will only inherit a few stratches along the way.....

 

Cardinalblue

[AF16]

She _ told _ me the truth, ok? She said that she lied; she said I should find another. She is not duping me.

 

She is making the wrong choice, and earlier on she made the right choice in wanting to stay with me and work as a flower worker.

 

I?ll fight for her, not only because I want to stay with her, but because I want her to have the other life. Why do you guys not fight for the people you love? It?s so cold just to jump to the next girl; don?t you have feelings for those you love? I don?t want a random Thai girl. Any Thai girl will not do. I love this one and will try to make her see.

 

You say the way she pretends to be like she has no real self. Like she is totally separated from the girl she pretends to be. She is not. She is a good girl.