Guest Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 Met a gtg a couple of years ago... she is 5 years younger than me. I brought her to my home country last year for 6 months and we even got married there. Afterwards we went back to her village and did the proper "farang" thing. We got married again with monks and so on with the usual "payment" to her parents. Before that though....I bought out her partner(and ex.) in their business in the south....she now runs the place. So..it gives me more excuses to come back to thailand...which I have......and always having to make a stopover in BKK because of my arrival time. Since last August....I have managed about 10 trips to Thailand. Lately I have been bringing other friends with me to enjoy Thailand and its many pleasures and, I have never swayed! All was going great till January. Shortly after arriving in BKK my friend and I visited the Nana disco.....that's where I met "A"...15 years younger than me....AND, nothing has been the same since. We have become quite close to the point of having very strong feelings. I know what she does..meaning...she freelances.... She almost always makes the time for me when I am in BKK but, not always..that doesnt bother me as I prefer to keep it with less expectations. Some money is involved and ONLY when I am with her..but, not nearly as much as her usual fees. She asks for nothing else in return and doesnt leave my side till I am ready to go. However..the last trip I did I found that keeping with the less expectations more and more difficult..... and she says the same about her.......That me being married is bothering her...being they are both Thai. For now though.... we have agreed to be accepting of each others "real" life... Now..I love my wife deeply......and our relationship is still wonderfull.....she doesnt know my other side. My wife has noticed a change in me...and so far I have blamed it on all the travelling I have done recently and problems with my job at home. Question is........can I also be in love with "A" ..is it possible to be in love with 2 ladies......and will I end up losing both in the end? I can't decide..nor do I want to right now. Also....does anyone think "A" is playing me? Or....am I being selfish in wanting to keep both? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 Hello Joe, Or....am I being selfish in wanting to keep both? If you don't tell them that you want to keep both (i.e. if your wife doesn't know about the other girl) you are definitely selfish. is it possible to be in love with 2 ladies...... Definitely, but being in love isn't the same as love. You can't really believe that you love a 15 years younger freelancer after knowing her for 4 months, can you? I can't see what you will loose if you end the relationship with the freelancer immediately! But I can imagine what you will loose when you continue to meet her. Maybe you should tell us why you felt in love in this freelancer. Best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranma500 Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 There is a Thai expression about trying to grab two fish at once - one in each hand - the message being that you will lose both. Can anyone remember the actual Thai expression? You love your wife. The relationship is wonderful. You have committed to her in the most permanent way known to man. Surely only one conclusion, morally, ethically, and practically. Stay away from Nana Disco. ranma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 it's called 'mia noi' or minor wife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacko Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 If you "love your wife deeply". Then treat her with a bit of respect and stop cheating on her with whores. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 Naiv.... I agree...It is selfish and I have no explanation for it. But, its how I feel and its what I want now. Never said I was in love with the freelencer...I said I had very strong feelings for her. The age difference isnt all that much..she is 30.....so....love is possible. I have alot to lose with my wife..you are right there!!! The freelancer will prolly end up by the wayside with me..but..I dont know if or when! You ask why I am so inclined to be with this freelancer......well...she gives me EVERYTHING my wife doesnt anymore. HOWEVER...my wife is COMFORT and is there for me! Ranma....... Surely the Thais have expressions for everything even in its simplist form. Its not the problem of staying away from the Nana...been there MANY MANY times without this sort of thing happening..."A" is my first. The last time I saw her wasn't even at the disco. Yes..I committed to my wife in the highest known form to man.......and the answer should be obvious.....BUT, how do I fill the void afterwards? Jacko....... Doesnt the buddhist culture allow more than one wife.....I am not advocating this......HOWEVER....I do love my wife deeply and treat her with the utmost respect. Then you comment with me "cheating with whores"?? lol Ever been to Thailand..a country with no social systems where MANY MANY ladies find that working the bars, disco and whereever as the ONLY means to a living because their own government, families and ex'es just walk away from them?? As well......if you come to Thailand..why do you come here? My story isnt anything new to people in Thailand....but it is for me!!! I want opinions....and possibly help...not condescending remarks .......I already know what I am doing is morally wrong in my culture.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mongatu Posted April 21, 2003 Report Share Posted April 21, 2003 Sounds like you are getting very involved with the freelancer and starting to feel guilty about it. You have to decide for yourself whether it is worth playing around with her. If you could see yourself possibly being happier long term with the freelancer than with your wife, then maybe you should give it some more time to see what develops. But this is risky. Someone, probably more than one, is going to get hurt before this is resolved. Maybe you should cut your losses now. Only you can decide what is best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2003 Report Share Posted April 22, 2003 JoeT says "Question is........can I also be in love with "A" ..is it possible to be in love with 2 ladies......and will I end up losing both in the end?" I imagine it's possible to be in love with two ladies at the same time, but four months into a relationship I for one am usually still being led 90% (at least) by my dick, and in that four months how much time have you actually spent with her? Think about it with your other head, do you want to ruin your marriage over a Thai prostitute? When the going gets rough, as happens in any relationship, a Thai hooker can quickly revert to their "trade" leaving you a mess. They don't even need to wait for bad times before they start spreading their legs for an ex-customer for fun or extra spending money. Do you really need it? It seems some guys do enjoy the punishment. I don't have anything against a guy getting some on the side but you are talking about love and a marriage is at stake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2003 Report Share Posted April 22, 2003 Mongatu.... Good observations on your part....Some guilt indeed...and, I have thought long and hard on what you have stated already. Could I be happier with the freelancer...absolutely...is there a future...I think not!!! Surely a risk on whatever I decide!! As for someone being hurt..right now..thats me! If I cut my losses...I will lose on two counts........the freelancer and the void will be enormous that she currently fills! What will I end up doing..............easy for right now! I am back home away from both till next month...I have a lot of soul searching to do!! So, thats why I put my personal story and dilemma on here! In the meantime....I have and will keep calling both. Big question no one seems to be answering..is this freelancer "playing "me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2003 Report Share Posted April 22, 2003 Bahnawk... Four months in most thai - farang relationships as you say isnt much at all. My time is escalated as I am in thailand most months for some time each month. What do we say at home..a hard dick has no conscience! Certainly that is true...possibly even in my case!! As for the rest of what you say......I cannot respond to what is the truth!! As for having something on the side.......that is my dilemma which has now become part of my life now!!! ONLY time will say what will happen in my situation.....Thanks for your thoughts on this!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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