gummigut Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 It's easier to take the route of least resistance which is what you seem to be doing. Usually you end up paying a lot more for it in the end (or just have less to show). Sounds like you are making excuses for not doing the hard things that will make life better (like talking to your wife). Yes, while communication will be compounded by language and culture, I don't see how this prevents you from telling your wife about your concerns. I mean, if you can't tell your wife, who the hell can you talk too? Doesn't sound like much of a relationship from your point of view. <<burp>> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 it's not easy. especially because you seem to have a long distance relationship most of the time. i would not want to have that. maybe you could figure out a way to be able to spend more time here in thailand with your wife. i don't know what business you wife is doing but maybe you should think of doing that together with your wife here instead of going and coming all the time. also, is it not nicer to have a wife who is active and industrious and works hard than a wife who is just taking from you and is lazy? maybe she just needs to do that business now, do that so that she can have her own success? give it some time. oh, and thanks for the compliments about my handle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 "The last thing I want to do..is to leave my wife! " ........................................................................ I doubt if your wife knows how serious this is. She would if she caught you.. Maybe you should spend some time trying to get accross your message, and finding a solution to this. Make sure you know what the message is, and to have a solution to suggest. It seems weird to me that you bought out her partner, which really only makes it a bigger problem. She could need someone she trusts to take charge while you are there. If she fails to see how big a problem it is, an ultimatum might be the answer. The farang way of communication is often too soft. A might be the only one you are cheating with. But she is not the cause of this. If she goes out of the pic and the problem is still there, it will be another "A". That is, until you find one which appeals enough to you to leave your wife altogether. You might not be ready for this now, but believe me you will as your feelings for your wife become more and more distant. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khwaimaisabai Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 Hi gg, I don't think you need help. You seem to be dealing with it OK, just keep your cool and don't let it go too far with A. If you want a simple life then dump her - but you don't, do you...... :onfire: Human beings are like that. Khwai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 Did you ever consider that maybe your wife has another man? You aren't there fulltime, and maybe the work thing is a bit of an excuse? Just something to maybe think about! I also am convinced that a big part of your problem is that you don't spend the majority of your time in LOS. That puts an added dimension on everything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 [color:"red"] 1) She doesnt give or take care of me like before because of the business I bought her...... [/color] I tried my best to hold my tongue on this thread, please forgive me I must chime in. If Hubby uses the excuse of me not taking care of him becuase of my work then he has more than an excuse to have lovers. However, I need to remind you that a marriage is for "better or worse" and partners must understand and adapt for each other's needs. I bet that your wife needs support more than she once did How about this scenerio, Hubby is 9 years older and what about if he is not so good in bed as he used to be? Should I happen to get some lovers because my sexual needs and other needs are not satisfied? The changes are constant in our lives, please reconsider that we are not super women even though we really want to be :bow: Some of the things we just cannot do it at this stage of life Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger Moth Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 I wonder if you would clarify something regarding "A". It seems you are visiting LOS about once per month and you stop over in BKK as your flight arrives to late to go directly to see your wife. Since you met "A" in January and it is now April, one would conclude that you have spent 4 or 5 nights with "A". Is that the extent of your time with "A"? Have you done activities with "A" other than the activities "A" earns a living doing - having sex and spending initimate time with customers? If you have done more than the above, it would seem you have already begun to divert the limited time you have in LOS away from your wife. This would indicate you have made a tentative decision regarding your marriage but are feeling uncertain about this decision. Could this be the beginning of the end? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 GG, You need to ask yourself how would you feel if your wife finds out and leaves you? Will "A" meet all your needs that you won't miss your wife so you marry "A"? If the answer is no, then terminate this affair/fling with "A" immediately. Question: is there any difference between the cost-benefit between what that british tourist did in transporting drugs and you? lets see. He would have gain about 25,000B and you will gain a freeleancer. Now what is the lost/cost to each of you. He will receive the death penalty/prison for life for getting caught. You will lose your wife (technically your life-long partner), some financial assests and the psychological/emotional damage to you. Maybe you might feel that you lost your life, too? It sure sounds like a huge cost for very little gain in my book..... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leather Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 I believe you can be in love with more than one person. It's happened to me several times. If you still love your wife, then keep things simple and stay with her. I would play it safe under the circumstances. If your wife is noticing then I would be careful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 Hey, just ask yourself what you want? And how do you think this relationship will end up? You should know, by now, what the answer will be, if you're honest with yourself. I've been thinking of posting my own story along the same lines, but from a slightly different angle. Might provide some insight from which others can gain (after all, that's what we're here for...to learn from others). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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