jasmine Posted April 28, 2003 Report Share Posted April 28, 2003 [color:"red"] In a perfect relationship you wouldnt be lacking in anything so..you wouldnt have to be unfaithful...BUT...I dont know if there is such a thing that is called a "perfect relatioship"..is there? [/color] I beg to differ that in a "perfect relationship" you will lack nothing. A human being is NOT perfect and there is no way that one person can make another person perfectly happy. Any woman probably can but I cannot. If my partner feels that I need to make him happy, he can go and find someone else and I will wish him good luck. Also, if the relationship has to be perfect to make a spouse faithful, then there will be no such thing as "faithful", IMO. By the way, your answer to me in one post about you are a very good lover. I am sure you are, I have not met any man who will say he isn't, so if being a good lover is the only key to happiness, many women have got one (or two lovers). It is sad that there are so many facets in happiness and sometimes the requirements change. I do think you are trying and I wish you luck. Jasmine who is NOT PERFECT and proud of it!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted April 28, 2003 Report Share Posted April 28, 2003 "I beg to differ that in a "perfect relationship" you will lack nothing. A human being is NOT perfect and there is no way that one person can make another person perfectly happy. " .......................................................................... I agree Jasmine. Those who look for a perfect relationship will struggle and go searching forever. A relationship is a lot of hard work, fights and quarrels to make it work. But happiness can be found if one puts effort into it, but it wont be happiness 100% of the time. All people have faults, it can be hardest to face one ones. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacko Posted April 28, 2003 Report Share Posted April 28, 2003 Just got around to this. 1) You are a Buddhist......? 2) I guess it is all dependent on perspective, but treating a wife with respect includes a little honesty I belive. 3) 'Ever been to Thailand' err yes....started 20 years ago. 4) I go to Thailand frequently, for the great combination of a holiday and the best P4P scene in the world. ....but I haven't got a wife sitting at home, who I love deeply..... You got opinions, including mine, they were not condoscending remarks....if you don't like them you shouldn't come whining to the board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 28, 2003 Report Share Posted April 28, 2003 I have not met any man who will say he isn't (a good lover) Haha, really? I must admit that I am not a good lover. But I am willing to learn.... Best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 28, 2003 Report Share Posted April 28, 2003 You always have great ideas...and I have already tried those approaches Thanks! But it seems that my ideas don't help you because you have tried them allready I suppose that you tried many times to explain your wife what you feel. Maybe this intermezzo with A will help to show you and your wife what you want. But she should know about it. It may be cruel, but tell her that if she doesn't search you at the airport and travel with you around then you will travel around without her. (She will assume that you won't travel alone...) Maybe a better way would be to force her to travel with you. Search her at her house and just take her with you Haha, ok I wouldn't be able to do that, I couldn't force my gf to anything. It is not my style. But maybe it would be a good idea to tell your wife that you love her, that you want to live with her but if she doesn't make any effort you will search another partner. But I guess that you don't really need any advices because you know yourself what you can do and what not. So I just hope that your wife still loves you and understands the seriosity of the situation. Good luck for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Encore Posted April 28, 2003 Report Share Posted April 28, 2003 Like torneyboy, I've been there and done that, wanting my cake and eat it. It doesn't work in the long term, in fact, you may think you hurt now, but if this blows up, which it will do at some stage, you will hurt a hell of a lot more. What's more, so will they, especialy your wife. There may be a reason why she doesn't 'come acrosss' anymore, maybe she senses your distance, your preoccupation with A. The only way to resolve this is to indeed be open with your wife, tell her that you feel that both of you are drifting apart, maybe because of business, maybe because of international commuting, maybe because of a diminishing passion between you. Let her know that you'd like to reverse that, but that it would take two to work on it, and that some time spent together away from her work would be a first step. If she refuses, put it on the line, explain that her lack of ardour is starting to make you feel itchy, that you don't want to act on that itch, but may at some stage in a weak moment succumb to it. (Make sure there are no knives around). The mere hint of that may make her sit up and listen. IMHO, she deserves a clear indication of the risk her relation is at. Above all, don't continue as is, IT DOES'NT WORK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 Hi, [color:"red"] Haha, really? I must admit that I am not a good lover. But I am willing to learn.... [/color] Oh la la, how charming!!!! :hug: Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 Says ranma500: There is a Thai expression about trying to grab two fish at once - one in each hand - the message being that you will lose both. Can anyone remember the actual Thai expression? The expression you are referring to is "jap pla song mue", or "hold fish two hands". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 Hello Ikkrang, really good how you described the situation. I can only fully agree. Best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2003 Report Share Posted April 30, 2003 Jas and Check... I agree with that and wasnt looking nor do I beleive there is such a thing as a pefect relationship..... I love the usual challenges and trying to make things work....I am a romantic at heart...So....I try to make things more exciting on a daily basis AND I do spoil my wife. Not only with gifts..but with affection!! For those who think I may be pre-occupied with "A".....NEVER when I am with my wife! Whether this was intentional or not...but over the years..I have become somewhat of an expert at maintaining seperate lives without any of them clashing. At least not yet!! Jas.... being a very good lover isnt a "sexual" thing necessarily...its more of a a state of mind before, during and after the times of being sexually intimate. OK..I need to get to work..I will answer the rest of the posts later tonight....Thanks all!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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