Guest Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 Gummi... Doesnt anyone listen here...I have talked to my wife in every which way possible....till my face turned BLUE and I was left speechless...ok? Besides.....its still a great relationship..I just want more when I am there!! Flyonzewall.... The business supports a very good "thai life".....I would love to live in thailand fulltime..just cant right now..maybe in a few years!! Time is on both our sides....I do want this to work..trust me when I say that!! Check.... Maybe you are right on her not knowing or grasping the seriousness of this...I have tried to tell her though. Buying out her partner was weird...albeit another story.....but she does have family involved in the business..not hard for her to really take a break when I am in town!! I did give her an ultimatum when we decided on not selling the business the other day..the next day I called..and things were like forgotten...lol......is this just the "thai way" or what?? "A" is NOT the cause of the problem....I AM!! How more distant can I be with my wife be....I live on the other side of the world...lol Kwai...can I say that here?? lol Bang on the money...if I was a betting man!! Traveler..... Nope..and I dont wanna think about that..she isnt that type....this I know for a fact!! Thats a problem..but how much more time can I spend in LOS...I was there 228 days in the last 365...isnt that enough? Did you not get my last email? Jasmine... Why hold your tongue? That would ruin it..dont you know that!! lol Anyways...to me..in honesty..I think I have adapted completely....or as best as I can considering everything......I have never adapted so well before... Trust me..I am great in bed....and I dont hear this from myself only......wait! Here comes the comments now....lol lol I know about changes......time is on my side!! I hope! Tiger... Nope..wrong...four visits and about 10 days in total. I have done most everything besides having sex with "A" Good point about diverting my time away...I have....and yes..I a VERY uncertain..... I hope its not the beginning of the end with my wife!! Cardinal.... I would be devastated!!! And..if it did happen.. I woudnt not marry "A"....PERIOD! I am on a sabatical right now with the thoughts of ending it with "A"...but..I just dont know! Your question has the right answer.......will I follow most of the advice on here...I DONT KNOW!!! Leather..... Thanks..and I am VERY careful.....I think! Chong... Thats why I am on here......to learn and to do the right thing for me! Sounds selfish..doesnt it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 "I did give her an ultimatum when we decided on not selling the business the other day..the next day I called..and things were like forgotten...lol......is this just the "thai way" or what??" ................................................................... No, that was probably not an ultimatum. It was a half hearted "if we keep the business you have to do this". And if you did not follow this up and stand firm, you are just showing weakness!!! At times a relationship is a power struggle, you have to give and take but be reasonable and fair. If you give in all the time you will end up a permanent loser. Remember, the girls have an advantage in this struggle and will use all tricks up their sleaves. They are more clever with this stuff, especially the Asian ones. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 Check... It was an ultimatum...on the phone...I will just have to wait till I get back in about 3 weeks...then we will talk again. I realize about giving in...there is give and take..and I do try to be fair....power struggles are just part of life and in everything we do.....again..give and take! BUT..I do have a weakness at times when it comes to my wife......and yes...I will say..THAI girls..to me..are the best even with the language and culture barriers....THANKS for all your input to date.. As a matter of facts..thanks to you all so far..it has been enlightening......I still have 3 weeks here..lets keep it up. MAYBE I just need convincing...eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 In a perfect relationship you wouldn't be unfaithful, to be unfaithful can improve a mediocre relationship, and it helps to end a bad relationship. So it is always positive?!? :hubba: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted April 26, 2003 Report Share Posted April 26, 2003 Says naiv: In a perfect relationship you wouldn't be unfaithful, to be unfaithful can improve a mediocre relationship, and it helps to end a bad relationship. Naiv, Well put, must remember that one......... Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 26, 2003 Report Share Posted April 26, 2003 Naiv... In a perfect relationship you wouldnt be lacking in anything so..you wouldnt have to be unfaithful...BUT...I dont know if there is such a thing that is called a "perfect relatioship"..is there? However.......something positive will come out of this..you are right about that. ...just hope its what I wanted as little as 6 months ago. Funny though....now that I am home.....its truly what I want...I have surmized that much!!! Then I arrive in LOS even without speding a night or two in Bangkok as I have lately in the past........and things change. A lot to do with the business, the little time I spend there..sometimes a week...maybe lots more, the pressures on her, her family, kids....her wanting to come back to my country to spend time with me.....I mean..it is a lot!!!! Perhaps its just too much for her.........BUT..she doesnt want to give up anything...INCLUDING me!!! Nor does she want me to help her with anything in that part of her life...she wants to do it all on her own!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 26, 2003 Report Share Posted April 26, 2003 Of course there is no perfect relationship! (At least not for a longer time) I guess that you will do everything to get what you want. The question is if you still believe that your wife can provide it and if she is willing to. Hmm, couldn't you plan holidays with your wife? Travel around in SE asia with her. The idea is to seperate her from her business. Next time that you go to thailand just tell her that you want to travel around. Ask her to come with you. If she refuses then travel around alone (or with A). When did you make holidays with your wife the last time? (both of you, not only you and your wife continues to work) Best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 27, 2003 Report Share Posted April 27, 2003 Naiv..... I believe the problem to be not ONLY me but the business. Trying to get her away for almost any period of time is nearly impossible. We almost sold it twice..but... I wanted her to NOT be dependant on me......and, she LOVES that! This next trip to LOS will be a birthday trip for me.......So...that should be important enough for her to spend more time with me...I HOPE!!! I will make sure though to spend a few days in Bangkok beforehand...with or without "A". I ALSO want to know where that relationship is.... Having said that...sorry to have disappointed everyone who thought I wouldnt want to know that!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 27, 2003 Report Share Posted April 27, 2003 So...that should be important enough for her to spend more time with me...I HOPE!!! IMO, this won't work! I really think you should just tell her that you want to travel around with her in Thailand. Seperate her from her business! If she refuses, then you have to go alone! If she loves you, she wouldn't let you go alone. I will make sure though to spend a few days in Bangkok beforehand Hmm, I wouldn't do that. I would test if your wife is willing to be with you during your holidays first. Tell her to come to BKK and search you at the airport. Tell her that you want to travel around with her. If she doesn't accept, then you have all your time to stay in BKK, with or without A. If you really want to save your relationship with your wife you should make holidays with your wife BEFORE you meet other girls. Believe me, she will feel that you were with another girl before you met her. And the chance to have a good time with your wife will be minimal. I believe you that it is difficult to get her away from her business. But this is not your problem! Try it in the way I told you. If she refuses to search you at the airport then you are free to do what you want. I insist on this: If you still love your wife, then give her the chance to show you that she still loves you. Best regards P.S.: If you don't want to give her this chance, then it is probably too late to save your relationship. This is ok, too. I guess that you have given her many chances but that she didn't take them. So it is up to you, what you want to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 28, 2003 Report Share Posted April 28, 2003 Naiv.... You always have great ideas...and I have already tried those approaches and more...she knows I love travelling....as does she...again...BUSINESS is first!!! As for her knowing...perhaps.....but she does "feel" something and thinks I MAY be involved with somebody back in my home country. She has NO idea I sometimes spend more than one night in BKK on any given trip. Before the business.....she always met me at the airport...now she doesnt..lol She has all the chances to still show me LOVE...maybe its in a comfort zone for her now. Perhaps she doesnt feel that need to show me that anymore...understand? IS it too late to save this relationship.....NOPE! Question is...HOW? Maybe I am just a sucker for punishment in a relationship! What do I want..........my heart says..of course my wife!!! What do I need now.........my sanity says BOTH!!!! What will I probably end up with.....losing my wife, perhaps even my lover/friend...and, the business. What lessons in life...eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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