Guest Posted April 23, 2003 Report Share Posted April 23, 2003 Naiv.. thanks again.. 1) She doesnt give or take care of me like before because of the business I bought her...... 2) Yes..I know she can be the same..once the business is gone or sold...which we just had another offer this week...but we both declined on the offer even though it was very good! As for your solutions.......1) that wont happen 2) perhaps but I hope not for the long term..and 3) After all that is happening....that is what may end up happening..I dont know! Thanks......for the ideas and thoughts!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 23, 2003 Report Share Posted April 23, 2003 flyonzewall you started off great with your first sentence...its so true what you said..however..I do know the difference!!! I NEVER rationalised it with the buddhist faith..I was merely asking about one aspect of it...I got my answers!! Yes..I am suffering and I know my wife is as well..both for different reasons though!! You assumed the one thing that is missing is sex..WRONG!! Its the companionship that was! Add that with sex...and nothing would be wrong!! Then you started preaching to me........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted April 23, 2003 Report Share Posted April 23, 2003 Then you started preaching to me........ ---------------------------------------- Hey, what's Old FlyonW for? Anyway, Seems to me the only problem is that you are not used to it (straying away), but basically what is happening to you is happening to a lot of expats and guys. Having the wife and on the side.... If you can't bear the guilt, do as me: abstain, or get your kicks as short-timed as possible. IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 23, 2003 Report Share Posted April 23, 2003 Big question no one seems to be answering..is this freelancer "playing "me? Having just went through a similar experience with xxxxx, a 30-year old freelancer I met at the Biergarten on Soi 7, I'd be inclined to say she's playing you. I've not yet met a Thai woman--whether regular or BG--who tolerates another woman in someone's life--unless she's just in it for the money. Just be careful and watch for the little signs of inconsistency, little lies, etc... Above all, make sure you don't get emotionally committed! Good luck. Nich Nich ( sorry - no names allowed ! - BB ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 23, 2003 Report Share Posted April 23, 2003 >>>Its the companionship that was! <<< well, every relationship is more intense at the beginning. have you ever thought that your wife maybe wants you to be proud of her that she is doing the business well? whatever, i stop preaching, some guys have it all and are too blind to see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted April 23, 2003 Report Share Posted April 23, 2003 "well, every relationship is more intense at the beginning. have you ever thought that your wife maybe wants you to be proud of her that she is doing the business well? whatever, i stop preaching, some guys have it all and are too blind to see it." ................................................................. I think its all speculation why and how here. This guy should be able to figure out himself why his wife lacks in companionship IF he is interested in it. He can just ask, can't he? Thats what a relationship is about, solving problems together. There is a danger if he keeps this up that his relationship with his wife will become more and more distant. Until its dead, and there is no companionship worth having. That won't be his wifes fault, but his for solving his problem elsewhere with his freelanzer. Been there, done that. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 23, 2003 Report Share Posted April 23, 2003 2) Yes..I know she can be the same..once the business is gone or sold...which we just had another offer this week...but we both declined on the offer even though it was very good! gypsyguy, please speak with your wife! Did you tell her that you think that she is working too hard, that she doesn't give you a lot of affection anymore? And have you planned something for your future? How many years do you want to work in farang land and live in Thailand? A long distance relationship is always difficult. And if you are not made for it you shouldn't try for a long time. You have to speak about your problems with your wife. (This doesn't mean that you have to tell her about the other girl.) Best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 I know she can be the same..once the business is gone or sold...which we just had another offer this week...but we both declined on the offer even though it was very good! Why would YOU decline, if you feel the business is what is causing the loss of companionship from your wife? I think your decision not to sell says alot about your intentions. You don't want your relationship with your wife to return to the way it was. You are much more interested in your life with A. I also think if A dropped out of the picture, you still would not want that business sold, you would want to search for another A. That lifestyle with A cannot be found in your marriage. You are leaning toward dropping your wife, not A. You won't be the first or the last to go this route. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 pattaya127... Straying from a thai wife can end your sex life from what I hear....as for the guilt and abstaining......its what I am living with right now..I am HOME and I am safe........ till next month!! Nicholas.... I believe the freelancer is playing me as you state...there are the signs..but then..there are other signs and thats what bothers me. One can play.......and then one can play and still have feelings. Remember....she is a freelancer and has to survive...she wont get that with me!! As for being emotionally committed?......emotionally involved..yes! committed...nope! the fly...love your nick...if anything...lol I realize about relationships, intensities and even levels of sexuality aren't always there everyday. I am proud of what she has done so far...BUT she has been a part of that business for a long time...I just bought out her partner who owned the majority. having said that..when I come for my 1-2 weeks every 6-8 weeks..dont I deserve more attention, affection and sex? Although we now have family involved in the business...she doesnt take the time off. I dont know why!! Trust me..it isnt me!! lol Lastly ....I know I have it all....with my wife.....its part-time and its just not enough at the moment when we get together. When I am there... I expect most of her attention...I am being selfish..ok? check_bin... You know thai women it seems......can you actually ask all that you have asked me to do? You know there are cultural differences, language and just the thai way. I have tried till my face turns blue and I cant talk anymore..and that initself is a rarity!!! To me..what I have observed with my wife.....when I bought the business...she became married to it as well....that's where the support is for her and her family and her lifestyle. I try to stay out of it as much as possible!! MAYBE, thats the problem!!! Naiv.... Like I stated earlier..I have done all that would be expected in these circumstances...she knows she works too hard and that she is lacking in affection for me...at least showing it!! I would love to retire from farangland ..but..I am way too young for that. The idea of a long distance relationship and living in two countries doesnt bother me at all....in fact...I live for it! I dont always spend just 1-2 weeks here every few months..sometimes its a month or months at a time. I have spoken to my wife about our problems..as recently as yesterday...what does she say..she knows and will try harder.....but she says that everytime I bring this up..... Its like.....status quo is good enough for her!!! What I mean by that..is whatever mode we are in...is fine with her....meaning..if there is great sex...great! if we spend days together and are just plain are into each other..... great! if I sit and wait for her while she tends to the business ....great! and if I go to beaches, diving and do things myself....great!! maybe she is just too accepting of how life is with us and see's nothing wrong!!! Wait..maybe there is NOTHING wrong with us, I have too high expectations on us and, I have just strayed. I wish it was that easy!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 Mailuk.... You know..I did think of that....you could be right. However.. WE BOTH declined in selling the business because it takes care her family and her lifestyle....without the typical thai way of asking for and getting money from a usual farang relationship. It truly gives her independance and provides a very nice life for her. Trust me..I want back what we had together........life together was 24 hours a day....... As for "A".....again..maybe you are right! Times are interesting with her..indeed! I do know though..and I have said this many times...there is NO future for "A" and myself...ok? However.....there is ONLY one "A"!!!! The last thing I want to do..is to leave my wife! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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