Guest Posted April 22, 2003 Report Share Posted April 22, 2003 No problem. I was afraid I was coming across a bit harsh. Hope things work out for you, at least you won't need to worry about getting bored in the near future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted April 22, 2003 Report Share Posted April 22, 2003 I will tell you straight. You will lose your wife...first. Then..forget the age difference i dont think that is a worry at all..not with Thais..is with falangs however. I have been there done that and hindesight is very good i must say. have a good look in the mirror and your bank balance btw and make a choice. From what i have gleened stay with wife and forget i know it is hard but DO it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2003 Report Share Posted April 22, 2003 What made you stray from your wife in the first place? Is she really not being the woman who you met in the first place or are you just being selfish? I can understand if she is cutting back on the sex and the love, the things you are now getting from this woman. When I say love I mean the companionship things and such not "true" love. However love can happen in four months I don't think anyone has the right to put a time frame on your or anyone else's feelings. However, you met her in Angels Disco, she does require money, she sleeps with other customers while you are gone, sure and she is 15 years younger than you. I would say this, tell her "it is what it is" and don't escalate the relationship. Actually, tone the relationship down a bit. You don't want to jeapordize what you have which is in my opinion a pretty good situation with your wife. If you must do it, be very discrete and don't let her get ahold of any of your personal info so your wife won't find out in the worst way. Most men have desires and some act on them, hey you are human but just tread very carefully with this one and keep it on a business level. Once your "emotions" cloud the mind it is easy to screw everything up... Oneye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grabii Posted April 22, 2003 Report Share Posted April 22, 2003 Joe, "Doesnt the buddhist culture allow more than one wife" No, budhism has nothing to do with it. Regards, JEff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted April 22, 2003 Report Share Posted April 22, 2003 "My story isnt anything new to people in Thailand....but it is for me!!! I want opinions....and possibly help...not condescending remarks .......I already know what I am doing is morally wrong in my culture...." ................................................................... Don't fool yourself. Its morally wrong in Thai culture also. Yes, some wifes will overlook this if she does not get it in her face. To a lesser degree this happens in the western cultures also. Others might chop off your dick if they find out. Many Thai marriages do break up because the Thai man can not stay faithful. How your wife would react is up to you to find out (or not). Are you good at leading 2 lifes? Do you feel comfortable in that situation? If not you have to make a choice sooner or later. Cheers and good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2003 Report Share Posted April 22, 2003 ...she gives me EVERYTHING my wife doesnt anymore Hmm, I can understand this! But I have two questions: 1) Why doesn't your wife give this anymore? 2) Can you imagine that your wife will give this to you again? Do you know the answers? Actually I guess that this was the reason why you felt in love for the other girl. Because your wife doesn't give you anymore what you need. So there are probably 3 solutions: 1) you can make your wife change 2) you search what you are missing in secret 3) you leave your wife in the long term just some ideas, best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2003 Report Share Posted April 22, 2003 >>> I need help..or do I???<<< no, you need a good kick in the balls and a few over the head for pissing away something really good because you don't see the difference between a love relationship and some obsession. you try to rationalise and excuse your behavior by asking if in buddhism two wifes would be allowed (no, not allowed), you present yourself here as the one person suffering and forget that the one suffering mostly will be your wife (you know, the person you once married for a reason). you wrote that everything with your wife would be perfect apart from one thing she doesn't give you anymore. well, correct me if i assume that it is sex. if it is sex, well there are ways to make your relationship more lively. and if it still doesn't work then there are ways to get it unemotionally, mechanically, without personal involvment, ways which might not endanger your marriage to that extend. not that i would advocate anyone to be unfaithful, but you are in the process of pissing away something which is much more worth than an affair, something many people would envy you. i know that my post here sounds a bit harsh, i am sorry for that. go on a holiday with your wife. a relationship is something which has to be worked on constantly, nothing comes by itself. what you are in the danger of doing is, is hurting your wife big time, and you are going to end up feeling sorry for the rest of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 23, 2003 Report Share Posted April 23, 2003 Torneyboy... Yes..I know I will lose my wife if she ever found out.... Age was never a concern..just to another person who posted..so I commented on it!! Looking in the mirror isn't a problem and neither is my bank account. Your advice is well taken.....Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 23, 2003 Report Share Posted April 23, 2003 oneyejacks... Buying her a business changed a lot of her. She simply isnt the same..HOWEVER..I understand that! When I go down for my one or two weeks every month or two.......business is still number one with her. I guess I resent that!! There is still the love, sex and the companionship.....BUT the intensity isnt there like it was. I MISS THAT!!! As for the freelancer......I met her at the Nana Disco.....I understand and accepts what she does......I do not support her outside our time frame at all. Just the odd phonecalls and emails in between. In my original post..I did mention we accepted each others lives..but..just finding it harder lately. Lastly...EMOTIONS have definetely clouded my mind...thats my problem I am trying to solve..... Thanks!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 23, 2003 Report Share Posted April 23, 2003 jeffreyh It was a question only about the buddhist faith....thanks for the answer...however..I do know MANY thai men who do have more than one wife. check_bin_krap My story is in thailand..so I was referring it to as that. Its wrong everywhere..I know that!! As for being good at leading different lives...YES..I am very good! I currently lead three totally separate lives..of which you have an idea of two. My third life is in my home country..its where I work hard to get back to thailand!! Thats the boring life......even brought my wife into it for six months...she agreed with me!!! Even took monthly weekllong vacations then and we had great times......but the inbetween times were boring for her as well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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