Guest Posted July 25, 2003 Report Share Posted July 25, 2003 I was following the discussion in another thread and there was some talk about relative education levels between some of us and our TGs. Just kinda made me think a little. I'm Prep School and Ivy League educated. I've had the benefit of some of the finest education available anywhere. My wife, on the other hand, is the product of a rural Thai education which ended after age 12. I've occasionally had interactions with people who wonder about this sort of supposedly "mismatched" relationship. There's a different motive behind each such person: some are merely curious, others are jealous or bitter, still others are smug and superior, etc. I suppose their basic notion is that my wife and I can't share all the wisdom and knowledge I'm assumed to have gained though my formal education, so this kind of relationship must be kind of a "waste" of my upbringing and education. However, I find it to be just the opposite. This relationship actually has drawn upon just about *all* of the knowledge and wisdom which I gained though all that education. And really put it to the test. In terms of thinking outside the box, understanding another culture, learning other languages, applying existing knowledge and experience to new situations, true empathy with other people who face *real* challenges in their lives, and so on. In fact, I think it's all of this which made my education a worthwhile endeavor in terms of bettering myself as a person. A waste? Hardly. It's prepared me for the most challenging and rewarding situation I could ever imagine, having an uneducated rural TG as a (hopefully) life-long companion! So what do you guys think? PS I hope no one takes offense at this post, I'm not saying one needs a lot of education to be able to successfully interact with TGs or in any way looking down on people who didn't have those opportunities in their lives, or even saying that "education" needs to be formal -- I'm just thinking about my own situation and wondering if a few of you out there might understand what the hell I'm talking about... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted July 25, 2003 Report Share Posted July 25, 2003 >I suppose their basic notion is that my wife and I can't share all the wisdom and knowledge I'm assumed to have gained though my formal education, so this kind of relationship must be kind of a "waste" of my upbringing and education. Unless your wife is very different to my gf, I would say there is lots of waste. With your education, you have been walking through the life in a completelly different way then them. Educated perception of the outside world, understanding causes and concequences... They don't have that. Their formative years had been wasted in rice fields, low paid jobs, with low educated people. They can hardly understand what the knowledge is, hence no much respect for it, other than in the moments that can be described as "entertaining" conversations. I'm an education freak, that's why I put my gf through the formal education (full HS, now Uni). The fruits are coming up slowly, very slowly. As soon as something does not work right away, she would say "you falang don't know". No understanding of what effort we invest when things don't work. When we make it work, it's only "you did not know before" kind of accolade. That's what differentiates an educated from an uneducated person: what do you do when you don't know. When you know, it's easy. As soon as the surrounding is not "monkey see, monkey do", my gf falls apart. No thinking, nothing. And I doubt Thai education will ever give her the menthal tools needed to get out of that bog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted July 25, 2003 Report Share Posted July 25, 2003 maybe there's another twist on this matter. maybe your education was a waste or a mismatch as you seem to interact with an uneducated life partner better? just a though as I really have no idea what your going at here, but I don't have any whatsoever problem with less educated people & believe opposites attract as long as they're compatable on some sort of level actually I'd prefer an down to earth girl anyday than an educated snobby bitch if that's a choice I was faced with. anyways what exactly does prep school & ivy league stand for? sounds a bit like some kind of baseball team or something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted July 25, 2003 Report Share Posted July 25, 2003 this has to be one of the great dilemma, or choice some of us are faced with. Not just with Issan P4P girls but a lot of thais, even educated ones. because of their insular culture (thai, thai, thai...and thai) , at least for most of them, a lot of what is our own and worthy culture cannot be shared, or even make a dent in their own cultural landscape (ok, cable TV does, consumerism too, etc.... sure helps... ), at least until they come to FarangLand, if they come. So, it all comes down, not so much to how much your own education can be used to withstand such vacuum or participate in it, , but how much you love Thailand? IMO..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted July 25, 2003 Report Share Posted July 25, 2003 "However, I find it to be just the opposite. This relationship actually has drawn upon just about *all* of the knowledge and wisdom which I gained though all that education. And really put it to the test. In terms of thinking outside the box, understanding another culture, learning other languages, applying existing knowledge and experience to new situations, true empathy with other people who face *real* challenges in their lives, and so on. In fact, I think it's all of this which made my education a worthwhile endeavor in terms of bettering myself as a person." .............................................................. My view is a bit different from yours. Its that our experiences is also a great education. The more cultures and people around the world we meet, the wiser we are from it. Heck, I have met many inexperienced just graduated wet-behind-the-ear people who are so so so DUMB. Also, remember one thing. A poor girl from Isaan might not have had education. Its circumstances. It does not mean that that person is not a clever one. I was married to a girl from Isaan who would have made it great if she could get education when she was at the right age. Yes, at that time I wished that we could share interests? It was a problem, but finally not the thing we struggled most with. And isn't that as much a product of different background as different education? Love overcomes this stuff if you work on it. And you seem to be doing fine there? These days I am engaged to a Viet girl, who has graduated from UNI. It does not make that relationship bound to succeed, we have to work on this always. Myself? I never completed my last exam at school at the age of 19. I don't have that graduation paper, but after I got a foot in IT work I have never needed it either. Frankly, I was bored to death at my last years at school and spent it in rebellion. Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulc31 Posted July 25, 2003 Report Share Posted July 25, 2003 Post deleted by paulc31 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 25, 2003 Report Share Posted July 25, 2003 Educated perception of the outside world, understanding causes and concequences... I don't understand that you guys speak only about education. For me it is much more important that my partner is intelligent and interested! I know many people with uni degrees who are not intelligent or not interested enough to understand what I am talking about. And then my perception of the outside world, as a scientist, is very different from the perception of, say, a lawyer or even a physician. It happens that when I talk to this sort of people they don't have any clue what I am thinking, whereas my family, even the less educated ones, can at least guess it (because they know me). I know several uni girls who are just not at all interested in anything other than small talk. Basically they are not studying out of interest but because their parents are rich, they want to have a good job and they want to find a rich husband. Of course there are exceptions, girls who I consider as really interesting, but this isn't linked to education (rather to age). Best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 25, 2003 Report Share Posted July 25, 2003 If you love her than take this opportunity to share what you know with her, she would like that a lot I doubt that, seriously! Best regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anonymouse Posted July 25, 2003 Report Share Posted July 25, 2003 "However, I find it to be just the opposite. This relationship actually has drawn upon just about *all* of the knowledge and wisdom which I gained though all that education. And really put it to the test. In terms of thinking outside the box, understanding another culture, learning other languages, applying existing knowledge and experience to new situations, true empathy with other people who face *real* challenges in their lives, and so on. In fact, I think it's all of this which made my education a worthwhile endeavor in terms of bettering myself as a person" Doesn't this work both ways? My wife who is from a rural village background has learnt my language, tried to understand my culture and without a doubt has bettered herself as a person since I met her. I do agree that these so called mismatched relationships can work because the two parties have so much to learn from each other - opposites attract and all that. There seems to me much more room for growth in the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulc31 Posted July 25, 2003 Report Share Posted July 25, 2003 Hi naiv, Why do you think that I know that my girlfriend would love it paulc31 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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