Guest Posted July 25, 2003 Report Share Posted July 25, 2003 Says jjsushi: The best thing I have gained from my formal education is that I can tell when an educated person is full of educated shit(politicians, businessmen, lawyers, scientists, etc). Other than that you don't need comparatively equal educations to have a meaningful or successful relationship. Agree completely. "Takes one to know one" kind of thing. My own marriage is proof of your second point. The important thing for me is that my wife is engaged and interested *in life* (deliberately underdefined). Whether the things she's engaged and interested in are the intellectual equivalents of the subjects of a formal western education is largely irrelevent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jitagawn Posted July 26, 2003 Report Share Posted July 26, 2003 Interesting post- I come from the same type educational background as you and have thought about this very same issue- As a point of interest please read on page 4 of yesterdays BKK post re title- LOW INTEREST IN LEARNING POSES HURDLE excerpt- "The country lacks brainpower" a gentleman from Th Population Studies Institute . He cnotinued and said Thais are not scholarly people. They read very little and listen very little. This is not a society whcih cares to pusue knowledge or iprive skills" Large GENERALIZATIONS TO BE SURE AND i AM NOT SURE OF THIS MAN BACKGROUND BUT. However for me, as I am so verbal inelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac . This is someting I have found so lacking in Thai women. It is there but the culture does not promote verbal skills and exchange of knowledge even in the college educated populace.IMHO Not bad or good but this is what I have noticed. I personally do no want to "save" or educate anyone else been there done that- We all need different things so...whatever works. But in general I do find Thai a bit dim... but so warm and good hearted and from such an interesting culture it all works out in the end. Flame on just what I have noticed over the last ten years or so and yes Ido speak Thai fluently so I do know what they are saying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulc31 Posted July 26, 2003 Report Share Posted July 26, 2003 Hi KhMarried, Hey Sorry for my post it has been removed paulc31 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiHome Posted July 26, 2003 Report Share Posted July 26, 2003 "Maybe having a successful relationship all boils down to how much shit you're willing to put up with. If your tolerance is high, you might be on to something! " This is probably the most perspicacious remark in the whole thread (maybe the whole forum). TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted July 26, 2003 Report Share Posted July 26, 2003 >I see you going on and on about education for several posts now, but I am still waiting to hear WHY it is important to you for a relationship It's not but the effort put in to improve one's position - is. I am talking an ex-bg, who are notorious for their laziness. It is important to me to see that someone is after the recipe, not after the baked cake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted July 26, 2003 Report Share Posted July 26, 2003 Some excellent replies here: > do agree that these so called mismatched relationships can work because the two parties have so much to learn from each other - opposites attract and all that. There seems to me much more room for growth in the relationship. >My view is a bit different from yours. Its that our experiences is also a great education. The more cultures and people around the world we meet, the wiser we are from it. Heck, I have met many inexperienced just graduated wet-behind-the-ear people who are so so so DUMB. >The best thing I have gained from my formal education is that I can tell when an educated person is full of educated shit(politicians, businessmen, lawyers, scientists, etc). Other than that you don't need comparatively equal educations to have a meaningful or successful relationship. >I have met more than a few Thai bargirls who have displayed an intelligence way beyond that demanded by their poor level of education. >No I don't think similar education harm a relationship. I think what is imporant in a relationship is that you have 2 people who genuinely care for and have an interest in each other and their well being. To add my own opinion, I got tired of working with so-called "high level" people (CEO's, CFO's, VP's) and I am glad I no longer have to deal with their bullshit and wrong thinking. In my relationship with my gf what counts are our exchanges of knowledge and experience. I had a grand-father who went to school until age 12 and I can tell you he had more common sense about life than most CEOCFOVP I have met. I am truly surprised by the wisdom uttered by my rice farm gf and we are educating ourselves with the cultural differences that bind us together. A challenging experience... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pescator Posted July 26, 2003 Report Share Posted July 26, 2003 Hi Soongmak, But take a second look at the things you just mentioned: learning another language, understanding another culture etc. is just exhilarating while you are still learning. More important is what the relationship has to offer you when you are familiar with the language and the culture, when the novelty has worn off. Those little things that attract you to a person can become a nuisance after a while. Her thainess that is so interesting and cute now, can easily become a thing of frustration when the relationship settles in. What matters most IMHO is that there is enough to keep you attracted to your wife when the novelty has worn off -------------------- Very well put. I think you hit the nail on the head here. After 10 years of marriage where my wife learnt my language/culture etc. and I learnt hers we simply drifted apart. We didnt really have anything in common. I have found many TGs have virtually no interests in anything besides eating/chatting/hanging out with friends (throw in an occasional karaoke session every now and again :. Nothing wrong with that, but frankly I believe that there is a bit more to life than just that. What also strikes me is their lack of "general curiousity". If this world was inhabited entirely by TGs the souce of the Nile would definitely to this day remain a mystery :: Cheers Hua Nguu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted July 26, 2003 Report Share Posted July 26, 2003 but frankly I believe that there is a bit more to life than just that. -------------------------- yes, there is, and one thing that has often befuddled me is that, even if thais see our interest in their culture, history, arts, they never seem to make sense of it. makes us more of a curiosity item to them than anything else. There are countries where to show interest in the culture will have the people around you show/teach you more about it, alas in thailand, it rarely leads to that. I do find thais largely ignorant about what happens beyond their own concerns or their village horizon. for example, i challenge anyone to ask a thai who wears a King CHULA amulet to tell you more than a few soundbites about his reign and his historical influence. Good luck ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 26, 2003 Report Share Posted July 26, 2003 Khn Married--- Mine too!! She doesn't really like movies per se... (every now and again is fine) but she will watch hours and hours of those PBS specials on wildlife/nature, historical events, current politics... She really likes that stuff... Like you, I was lucky enough to be born into a situation that afforded me the opportunity to go to a Pac-10 university, earn a B.S. degree and to pursue and obtain a M.S degree.. My TF has the equivalent of an A.A. However, it's her desire to learn more that I find amazing... She's already asked me how she can enroll in our local University (Khn Married-- She's going to apply to the purple and gold!) so she can finish her degree... She wants to earn a B.A,/B.S in Hotel/Tourism Management... While I think that having a degree counts for something, IMHO alot of what it takes to succeed, both in work and life in general, is very much OJT (on the job training).. In so much as you've got to work at it each day.. I see lots of people who have very humble beginnings, but had the desire to succeed and have do so... She and I are not academic equivalents at the present moment... we may never be... however she has the desire to learn more and I whole-heartedly endorse and will promote her desires... --UPSer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted July 26, 2003 Report Share Posted July 26, 2003 This is a very interesting post but way too broad to accomplish any meaningful conclusion. The difference between an educated person and an uneduacted one is that the uneducated one would not have dreamt of having this discusssion or engage in it. Someone who drops out of college school or is a hs graduate still can be included as an educated person. Yes, maybe not a highly educated one or a product of that countries' best universities but still educated in a general sense. As to whether you can predict success in a relationhsip between an educated person and one is isn't, i think one could find someone who wrote a thesis or two on this topic to better answer this question in a quantative way the wild-assed guesses people think.... So i will give you my wild-assed but educated guess. While i think education is a key to many things in life (people need take a look at the world's human factor index between countries), education is probably not a critical factor in whether one is trying to predict long-term relationship success between an educated person and one who isn't. I am not sure if one could isolate one or two factors in determing success, but if i had to specuate i would say 1. desire 2. compassion 3. cross-cultural differences and 4. lack of ignorance (lack of understanding) as my top four in whether a relationship is successful or not with a thai woman. Education would be further down my list but probably not in a significant cause-effect way..... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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