BelgianBoy Posted July 27, 2003 Report Share Posted July 27, 2003 All, Just a quick note to all....... Never mix up intelligence with smartness...... education is not all, experience is education as well ! Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 Interesting to see that the focus is mainly on education. In a relationship there is IMO much more than that. The level of education is at a certain stage in life an indication of one's ability to think. It not really about what one's already learned, but one's ability to learn more. In a relationship its IMO not really the level of education that counts, but the ability to communicate on a variety of issues and common interests (or perhaps interesting differences open to discussion). With many Thai-farang relationships the ability to communicate is quite limited. This may be due to the low education level of the Thai, but most probably due to the language barrier. I see that often after several years of relationship the communication level hasn't gone much beyond the "What's your name, you buy me a drink" level. Mind you often the level of English of the farang is also quite limited. So when both are trying to communicate in a language they don't fully grasp, when the initial physical attraction has worn off, when you've become bored learning another culture, and when you find that you don't really have that much in common apart from the big S, then a relationship can be considered a mismatch. Many BG's (not all) have probably little interest in life other than in having fun, eat, sleep or watch Thai soaps. But many farang have also little interest apart from drinking with their buddies and P4P. Little to do about education, which was some 20 odd years ago anyway for most. Farang-Thai relationships almost always start off on the basis of physical attraction. Its what you find afterwards that counts for it to last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 very well put Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 Says Hua Nguu: I have found many TGs have virtually no interests in anything besides eating/chatting/hanging out with friends (throw in an occasional karaoke session every now and again :. Nothing wrong with that, but frankly I believe that there is a bit more to life than just that. Funny, I have found most American women only care about counting the calories of what they eat(yet still gaining weight), gossiping, going to the movies, shopping, and watching stupid reality TV shows. I also agree there is a bit more to life than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 Says pattaya127: but frankly I believe that there is a bit more to life than just that. -------------------------- yes, there is, and one thing that has often befuddled me is that, even if thais see our interest in their culture, history, arts, they never seem to make sense of it. makes us more of a curiosity item to them than anything else. There are countries where to show interest in the culture will have the people around you show/teach you more about it, alas in thailand, it rarely leads to that. I do find thais largely ignorant about what happens beyond their own concerns or their village horizon. for example, i challenge anyone to ask a thai who wears a King CHULA amulet to tell you more than a few soundbites about his reign and his historical influence. Good luck ! Maybe they don't have much interest in it because they are actually living it. There are much more fascinating things to learn such as the happenings in Japanese, European and American culture. I challenge you to ask the average American about significant historical and cultural events of the USA and I assure you they will fail miserably. Considering we Americans are a relatively young nation historically and culturally it should be in the memory banks, yet it isn't. I find the funniest thing is that every American screams about his "Constitutional freedoms" yet the the majority have never read the Constitution nor more importantly the Amendments. Heck, most still don't know how the electoral system works even after the debacle of the last Presidential election. BTW- Ask the average American where Jazz & Blues music which is the foundation of all the stuff you hear on MTV today came from. Amazing that the Rolling Stones and Beatles are huge and making millions from American audiences because they were inspired by our music Jazz/Blues/Motown sound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 Hi orandanodes, Wow......I think this is a great, insightful post. And one that I subscribe too, also. Classic example of this is chat relationship I've developed with a girl working in an internet cafe shop in BKK. Holy shit....the problems we have relating to misunderstanding of each other languages are exstreme. Today she says that I am boring to her. I think, "WTF, if I'm boring, then maybe we should end relationship. And I do..... Her girlfriend emails, to say she has been crying her eyes out, because she meant she thought she was boring to me.??? This is a rather simplistic example, but is very real, on a daily basis with me. Command of the language, on both sides, is essential in being able to express your thoughts, and feelings. It is soooo easy to mis-understand what a Thai girl, speaking in English, is trying to convey to you. And she so often will take your words as something different, as well. It's not her education level that is in the way for us. She is not stupid. It's both our inability to adaquetly express ourselves in a coherant manor, that is causing great difficulty. We work through it, and always seem to come to an understanding. But it is very tough. She is smart as a whip, and I'm not stupid. But the meeting-of the-minds- will never happen unless there is a common language present in the relationship. Just my take....as of late. HT :: Good post, dude........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 All, Good postings so far on language and communications ! Two examples from my side : a guy in Belgium lives with a BG straight out of Pattaya, he speaks very bad English and has a command of maybe 200-250 words of Thai, she speaks maybe only 20-30 words of English...... Bets are on within my group of friends on how long this will go on..... they have NOTHING in common, but she lives here Other side of the coin with my GF who has an excellent command of English, fellow boardmembers here can confirm that, but still it is a learned language for both of us, however no misunderstandings at all....... and boy do we speak at lenght Then again, she also has an education, and we do have lots of things in common, but she is a westernised Thai for sure..... Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jitagawn Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 JJ Well you digressed to a critique of American culture which IMHO does have merit but P127 was addressing Thailand was he not?Responding to a concept with a non TOPICALLY linear extraneous critic as such is pointless- They are living it? Yet this is the reason they cannot discuss or relate the virtues there of?? Surely you jest good sir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit_of_town_hall Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 kh, I used to ponder this question. I received a formal education till I was 23. Since then I have studied topics of my interest. I have realised that I am not in the least bit bothered how bright/educated my partner is. I have found Unigirls/ career women to be too self possessed. All I want from a partner is someone who is a nice honest person, who likes me, likes to boom boom (ie never says no, unless say she has given birth in the last day or two say) and most importantly some would say is a good cook! IE I want a simple life which is good for me, and if the girl is that way inclined will be good for her.. Some people will say, "well dont you want to discuss things with her, my experience with people that have been married is that they dont say much to each other, bar statements such as I am going shopping, where are the kids,. STH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 28, 2003 Report Share Posted July 28, 2003 what would they get out of this arrangement spirit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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