Guest Posted September 27, 2003 Report Share Posted September 27, 2003 "So 3 weeks ago we are talking about her coming to the USA for a visit, and she is up for it. We were also planning a few days in Hua Hin when I arrive in 2 weeks. I call her up, and we get disconnected many many times, I figure cheap phone card, bad connection etc... 2 days after we were chatting about Hua Hin, she sends me the following email... " Although possible, I would doubt her control freak BF is brand new to her scene. She should have simply been straight with OH sooner, although I would agree that she is not in the same league as some of the despicable bitches I have read about here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 27, 2003 Report Share Posted September 27, 2003 As in 'animal planet' there are often more than one suitor for the ardor of an unattached female. To have 'winners' there must also then be 'losers'. Don't worry OH, you won't end up to be the good hearted 'Old Stag' banished to the hilltops, braying at the moon. Just look at me You're still a young, experienced, but young, stag yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted September 27, 2003 Report Share Posted September 27, 2003 I would doubt her control freak BF is brand new to her scene. Yes probably not his 1st visit. Tho i don't agree with OH that the BF is a control freak, he (the bf) is being driven a little crazy by a gf who is getting too many ph calls etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted September 27, 2003 Report Share Posted September 27, 2003 Sorry OH but you gotta bite the bullet and wait for those god awful feelings to subside. Then you'll be ready to say "next!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosyourdaddy Posted September 27, 2003 Report Share Posted September 27, 2003 Forget about her. .Long distance relationships hardly work, add on the fact that you have added strains of culture etc. You have it a shot Time to find another one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 27, 2003 Report Share Posted September 27, 2003 I've re-read your posts several times to make sure I've got it! It seems to be summed up in this one line: She MSNs me that her BF is very angry because I contact her, he says if he hears her speaking English, he will look for another woman. This guy isn't crazy or treating her bad she is the one screwing around or so it looks. She has referred to the guy as her boyfriend also... You said she even has told your thai friend she wants him. Have you been more than a one-night stand or just friends with her...no...due to the part about her sisters telling you if you kept up sooner or later you'd win her...meaning you had not held her heart, love, etc...yet! If you consider yourself to be a good man then you must step away and allow her to follow her desires. The current BF has only threatened leaving her and finding another girl...how is that abuse! It sounds as if it is you that will not let her go and your desire to be in her life causing problems even after her desire for you has been made known...[No calling names! - TTM - mod]. All the other stuff you talked about is cream...whipped that is...she was having fun with you on your coin... You did ask for some hard love didn't you! SB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted September 27, 2003 Report Share Posted September 27, 2003 story of my life ------------------------------- Not really. Do not take what happend to you as a reflection on your life, at least not in terms of relationships. What happened to you is plain TIT. Maybe, it mainly shows that the fantasies we are leading ourselves to, over there, are not really that much "life". I know you as a very savvy sanooker, and a LOS connoisseur, all things that don't seem to quite help when one gets enamored. basically, like many of us, the romantic longing you had for the girl was informed not by your knowledge of LOS, but by the western notion we all have of love. It's more like story of 2 lives clashing, your western normal romantic expectations and your ramblings in another culture. A while ago, on one thread, it was said that love is love , period, never mind the country. that's bollocks, culture matters a lot in how these things unfold. We in the west are a bit "romeo and Juliette" about romance, but many thai girls, even if infatuated, bring more pragmatism in the love equation, whatever their needs are. From all of the affairs I had in LOS, at the end, something makes you realize this is a tough country to live in, for most thais, hence their pragmatism. even the most demured girl, as the relationship goes on, can have a callousness (thoughtlessness in your case) that seems to fatally (as in fate) say: "welcome Mr West, My name is Mrs Asia and i am very old, much older than my years....". So, not your life, but you/we are mixing 2 worlds and the cocktail can pack a punch, and even destroy you if your foundations are not well-grounded. IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted September 27, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2003 "...How were you going to get her to america?..." Either a fiance visa, or else I have a friend in a high and corrupt place, and a few other tricks. It can be done if you know someone, which I do. I was told it would be done for me as a favor(return of a favor) just one time, for one girl, so choose wisely...an omen in itself! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Hippie Posted September 27, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2003 Ski, Yes, I did ask for "tough love" as I often say this when giving advice! If you re-read my many posts here, you will see, I mention severel examples of his controlling her (reading all email, listening to phone calls, checking phone records, forbidding her speaking english...). As for the name you called me which was edited, so I didn't see it...guilty as charged in this and many other aspects! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zorro Posted September 27, 2003 Report Share Posted September 27, 2003 I think that this girl was playing the usual game of stacking her options but you ended up putting her in a postion where she had to make a decision which she did. Unfortunately her decision was not the one you wanted. Realistically thou the amount of emotional capital you invested with her is realtively small so you should get it over it quickly. Forget about revenge. This is totally inappropriate behaviour and will not do you any good in the long run and will just make it harder to get over the whole deal. As for the general question of the morality of women stacking up a number of options I think you will find this is not just restricted to Thailand and goes on in many western countries as well. Western women are just a lot smarter at covering their tracks. At the end of the day what is wrong with a single women looking for the best deal and keeping her options open until she finds one that commits? Attractive women are in high demand and they know it and they also know they have only a small number of years to take advantage of their assets hence a need to keep their options open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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